Another fun hike

Day 1409 - after a week of rains we had a sunny Saturday. The soil was too saturated for a hike but we were not to let it deter us from a good walk. So we just walked all the way from our house to the sea and back. An hour and a half in each direction and the going back is a serious climb up the Carmel Mountain so we sure got our workout. It was easier than last weekend, and no rain which makes all the difference in the world. But we sure needed our rest at the end of this hike. Working in the store we really don't move around much and this weekly walk is the least we can do to keep in shape and not let our health deteriorate. I hope we'll find so time to get one more walk in the middle of the week. It was so much fun today and we hiked both ways talking and joking non stop that it made the whole trip so nice and the effort so doable. I love it that we spend every day together and we still have so much to talk about. That we still enjoy each other's company so much. I sure don't take it for granted and I am thankful everyday for the love that fills my life that I didn't think possible. For a partner that shares so many of my interests. it comes with its own set of issues and I am learning to deal with that. And I am thankful every day that we've found each other; today included.

Day 1408 -

Fixing my computer

Day 1407 - my new laptop made awful noises today, minutes after I turned it on. When all else failed, I pushed the on/off button. It sure stopped the noise but I could not turn it on again. After an hour or more I gave up and decided to call their help desk. Thanks god to international offices since it was too late on a Thursday night here in my country and they don't work until Sunday morning. And in the US it's Thanksgiving so no one is working there. But the help desk is always on from somewhere around the globe and 16 minutes later my computer was back on the air. It was a serious crash but they were able to guide me through and solve it. So on Thanksgiving night I am thankful for these amazing setup that somewhere in the world it's a work day and an anonymous guy can just walk me through the whole process of getting my computer up and running even though I understand nothing in what happened or what is the meaning of the steps I did per his instructions. The amazing power of world stations and transparent technology if passing my call... I am bubbling, I am so excited it got fixed. I was sure its gone only a month after I bought it!! I thought I'll have to send it back. But all it took is one phone call and 16 minutes of my time. I am so thankful for that.

Living the dream

Day 1406 - my daughter is planning to travel abroad for a few months. It is almost a rite of passage for young people her age. She is full of life and excitement and I am so happy to witness that. You don't embark on such a journey alone, so she was looking for a partner and today they met and decided they are a good match and so another big milestone is behind and the trip so much more real. When I was her age most of our friends did not take that journey and even though I had dreams about doing it I met my future husband and forgot all my grand plans. So I am very happy our daughter is taking the road we never did. There are things you can never come back to and if you misses taking that fork of the road it's forever gone. And at the age of 57 even if I'll go on the same journey it will be with a very different one. I am thankful to see my daughter so happy and full of plans. I am thankful for dreams that never go away and maybe one day will be fulfilled.

Day 1405 - another numerology class that leaves me speechless. It's amazing to see, time and again, how things fall into place. How people act unknowingly according to their numbers, or to phrase it differently, how accurate this system is. With every passing week I gain more confidence and I know a little more and I'm getting closer to the finish line, to the place I'll feel confident enough to start consulting. I am about three months away from that day. The funny thing is that we are scheduled to finish our class a day before my birthday. A nice present indeed. And until then I'll keep practicing whenever I can and become more confident in my ability and understanding of the material. And in the not so far future, I'll put it into good use and finally about 14 years too late I'll start working in the area I was destine to work and didn't. After so many years of delay after delay, of searching for the right venue in this vast field I found my calling and I am getting ready to embark on this path

Oops....

Day 1404 - I fell asleep with my phone in my hand without actually blogging. I guess I was really tired! It's funny because I clearly remember waking up at 2 am, reaching out for my phone, checking what day number it is and pressing the blog button. Next thing I know us waking up now at 6:45am with bright blue skies through my window and my phone somewhere in my bed, and not even one word typed... I don't know why I was so tired, I am working in a store not something so tiring but these are the fact and I am left with is to be thankful for a long and very good sleep, for the chilly morning that is peeking in, for love that is feeling my life and my soul, for another blessed day on this earth.

A good day in the store

Day 1403 - it was cold today and wet most of the day but it did not prevent few of our clients to frequent the store. By the end of the day it accumulated to a very impressive total. If every day will be like that it will be just great. It's really interesting but a little over a year since we opened the store we still don't see a pattern. We still have days when almost no one comes in and days like today that each one that visited bought and in a nice sum. I don't get it but I'm happy when it happens and hope for more such days. But this is what makes it so interesting. You never know how a day will transpire; what the next day will be like. It keeps us in a guessing game, but keeps us in the game. But the most important thing if all, I am thankful for every client, for every sale. I am thankful that a year after we opened our doors we are in the business and doing better with every passing month.

A wintery Saturday on the beach

Day 1402 - after a very rainy morning the sky cleared and we decided to go out for a power walk. We hiked downhill all the way to the beach almost an hour walk. It was beautiful there with the strong wind and a high sea. Rows of high and frothy waves one after another, few seagulls flying and even few other brave souls walking on the boardwalk. I was so happy we decided to chance the weather instead of staying home. We stayed in a cafe there, the only people to sit outside and not inside near the fireplace and after a magnificent sunset we made our way back this time taking the very steep road up the mountain. We made it of course in flying colors and very pleased we got back home. A good exercise, a great time on the beach, and a wonderful Saturday with my beloved partner. It's so easy to be happy; no need for fancy stuff or a high price tag. Just spending quality time with the significant people in my life. I am thankful for a wonderful day. I am thankful for a stormy Saturday on the beach. I am thankful for a great walk.

A stormy night

Day 1401 - long work days and not enough sleep are a good receipt for a very tired person. Add to that a stormy Friday and it will come as no surprise that we came home today and being as tired as we are decided to take a nap from which I just woke up 6 hours later. There's nothing better than being under a very warm blanket hearing the rain and the wind at play outside my window. My plan is to finish this entry and go back to sleep right away. I'm so thankful for bed, food and shelter in a night like this. I am thankful for a much needed rest.

Cooking together

Day 1400 - we went groceries shopping after work and then came home and made some delicious food after a week of no food at home. I love this "cooking together" thing, a we are a great team

Our Anniversary

Day 1399 - today is our second anniversary. Two years ago we met and knew right away that we found our soul mate, that this was it. And sure enough, through ups and down sometimes an emotional roller coaster but with love that only gets stronger as time goes by. And I know that as far as i am concerened, he is and will be my partner for the rest of my life. I am so thankful we've met. I am so thankful to all that our faitful meeting brought into my life.

To be present in my own life

Day 1398 - I read in my book a suggestion to set the alarm on my phone to go off every hour as a wake-up call to remind myself to get back to the present; to be in the moment, to be present in my life. And so I did. I'm not there yet and too many times when the alarm goes off I'm too busy to take the time and be present, which is exactly why this little exercise is so important. We live our days in a mindless manner not really here but almost always elsewhere. So for a few minutes of every day I'm actually where I suppose to be... I am very thankful for my soft and warm bed in a chilly night as tonight. I am so very tired and this is just wonderful.

Day 1397 - there are moments in ones life that are so defining that events will be measured as "before" or "after" that moment; same goes of course for couple's life. Today was such a day. Painful and enlightening at the same time; with honesty and love and even tears.

Insurance

Day 1396 - a year passed since we opened our store, so now we are in the realm of comparing and of doing things for the second time; like insurance for the store. Last year I just asked my insurance guy to do that but this year we decided to get some other quotes as well. And after doing that we decided to renew our policy with my insurance guy. So we asked him to come to the store and this morning we had the meeting. The funny thing is that I got his name from a guy in the agency where I bought my car and I never even met him. So after four years of doing business with him he finally came to the store. I think it's a good thing to do that, to put a face to a name, and in our case it was important for us that he'll see the store and assures us that it's well insured and suggests what to do if he thinks it's not. We did get some tips, I also did some changes to my personal insurance, so an important visit. And we got the peace of mind that the business is well covered. We all know that insurance we do with the hope we'll never have to use it, we actually pay for our peace of mind. To cover des asters that can be to heavy financially for us to bare alone. I am very thankful for that, for another year of peace of mind and I sure hope I'll never have to use it.

The First Nobel truth

Day 1395 - reading some more in my Dzogchen Buddhism book I came to the Four Nobel Truths, the basis of Buddhism. Life is suffering, the fact that we arrived in our corporeal body into this world means that we will change from one moment to the next, that we will experience unhappy moments physically and emotionally and we are bound to get weaker, sicker and finally die. This is just a fact of life. There is nothing we can do that will change this fact. But this is not the source of the suffering; that one comes from the simple fact that we refuse to accept that; from trying to force reality to change; from our inability to really see the truth and accept it for what it is without loading it with emotions, desires, expectations, attachments, conditions... In short we are the cause of our sufferings nothing else. It sounds so logic and reasonable but it is very difficult to do. We are masters of avoidance, of denial and our ego walls so high. How do I go about slowly breaking habits of many years? How can I be more present in the little time I have on this planet, in this lifetime? I set my alarm clock to ring once an hour 12 times during the day, calling it a wake-up call. To remind me to come to the moment and be present. I ate my toast mindfully, chewing each bite about fifty times. Same idea, to be present in my life, to be more aware. I took a shower with the same practice- noticing the water, the soap, the sounds and sensations of such a simple act, by being aware. Will all that help? I have to do it and see for myself. But this is a tried path that so many walked before, that I know I can trust it. And in the mean time I get few awareness moments, if nothing else. And I am so thankful for that.

Visiting my my elderly parents

Day 1394 - i am visiting my parents. On my way I picked up my daughter so it's the both of us. It's sad to admit but my pparents are getting older and the burden of taking care of my dad is taking its toll on my mom. My dad is loosing his hearing and refuses to use hearing aid which makes communication a little difficult. In short time is doing its thing and if become. More apparent with every visit. I read somewhere "time is not passing; we are" how true, how sad. It's not easy to see our loved ones slowly getting to the end if the line. Bent and frail, slower and I guess towards the end ready to get there, or at least not resisting it too much. It is us, the ones left behind that are mourning that, more for ourselves that for the deceased, remained all too clearly, that our time is nearing too; and it is unavoidable. Time, little time is all we have with these dear people that were strong parents to me when I was little and are not so strong anymore but are and always be so dear to me. I am so thankful I came back to my country four years ago and at least had few years with them, even if not their best. And I sure took full advantage of that in those years. I am thankful to be here today and to know there still a little time left...

About selling one's arts and crafts

Day 1393 - few days ago I visited one of our suppliers and saw a string of beads made of Rise Quartz and it gave me an idea for something I can make out of it. Today I finally had the time and all the other suppliers I needed for it and I made it. And it came out even more impressive than I imagined. And it made me so happy. Only last week I talked about not being in touch with my creative side and here I am, proving this is not true. I might just not in a painting period but I sure am back in my beading corner, happy as a lark to make more and more bead jewelry. There is not a single day I don't make something for the store to display and sell, all with crystal beads or chips and all are very well accepted by our customers. And it makes me very happy. First because it keeps my creative side in high gear and secondly because when I make things and don't have to buy it from a supplier, my customers get a better deal and still my profit is greater; and best if all it makes me so happy to know that things I made are decorating houses all over the city and adorn many women. It's a very special feeling indeed.

Frailty of life

Day 1392 - my partner had to go through an invasive procedure today. Nothing serious just a baseline data. Still it's with sedation and all. I was waiting for him in the recovery room as he was getting over the anesthetic and a though crept in that we are in this stage if life that for some people it is not just a baseline but a serious illness they are fighting. It is unsettling to know this is the direction we are going, that as time pass we will get weaker and frail maybe even sick. We better enjoy every day we still have here in a carefree mode and hope that we are right in assuming that if we live right and think right our bodies will work just fine all the way to the finish line. We all know that one day we'll die but it's so much easier never to think about it; not better, just easier. But if I want to be a Buddhist this is not the right way to do things. I have to fully acknowledge my eminent demise for my life to fully blossom. Today I sure got a preview of that, I hope to take full advantage of that.

About being ready

Day 1391 - I started today my advanced numerology class. I know I need this class to feel I am knowledgable enough to start doing analysis for others. I don't feel that the basic class is good enough; so, it was very interesting to hear one of our classmates talking about the readings she is doing for others. I asked myself am I just afraid to make the commitment thus keep taking classes or is it real. And I am sure it is real. Even after one class I can already see things I was not aware of and I am sure there is so much more to come. And I don't like to get the job half done. I feel as if I betray the people who trusted me and I am not ready to do that. So I will wait four more months before calling myself a numerologist and start reading for people. I am so happy I decided to take the advanced class.

About faith

Day 1390 - my niece gave birth today to twins; a boy and a girl. This by itself is big news. Add to that the fact that she already has three little kids at home, the oldest is not even 5 yet. And add to that the fact that she is only 22 years old... I only have three children and still it's not easy. I can't even imagine being so young and with such a big family. But I know they'll be just fine. They live in a very tight knit community and everyone, especially her family, will help her. And I know that as young as she is, she's a great mom. It just leaves me speacless thinking about this huge task they have. It's interesting to see how religious people take things so differently then secular people. They are doing think with great trust in a higher power who leads them and never let them fall;whereas secular people feel they have to be in total control, as if it's even possible. Faith is what help people to do the impossible; the belief that if they'll fall He will be there to lend a hand and help them back to their feet. And this knowledge gives great powers to ho forward, even when the get going is so very difficult.

Day 1389 - after closing the store I went to buy some groceries. Exciting considering the fact that the whole of last week I didn't do that and we had no groceries at home anymore.

A different kind of wedding

Day 1388 - we went today to a very unusual wedding party. The actual ceremony took place two months ago in a very private manner, only the closest family members attended and now it was a party for the extended family and for all their friends. The groom is a professional juggler and also teaches acrobalance in a youth circus school. So the part was on the school grounds. Very laid back of course, vegetarian food and a lot of activities for the many children that were present. The climax was a show of the groom, his brother some of his friends that are from the professional circle as well and the exhibition team if the school. SUch a different kind of event!!

A need to reconnect

Day 1387 - I want to go back to my painting class but it seems as if i lost touch with the creative side of me. For more than a year i did not touch my paints and my brushes and an attempt to do that last week ended up with a heavy heart. I so dislike the little i produced that i painted white wash all over it. And today I wanted to draw a mandala and the same thing happened, I felt totally out of touch and unable to reach in and find that creative part of me. I have to admit it was very disappointing. So now I have two options - I can give up or I can try to rekindle the fire. So of course I'll take option B. the question is how to go about it? Going back to my class and hope to find it there or should I repeat the program "the artist' way" with the hope it will have the same effect on me. I might choose the middle ground - two or three weeks of the program before going back to class. I just don't want to wait 3 months to finish the program. So tomorrow night I'll start and I hope it will do wonders this time around just as the last one. I am thankful for a great day at the store. I am thankful for a lovely evening on the beach; with fleece it's still doable and much fun. I am most thankful for realizing I lost touch with my inner creative child and even more so for knowing what to do to try to reconnect.

More comfortable meditation

Day 1386 - I woke up this morning very early and decided to sit for a meditation session instead of going back to sleep. It was the first early light and all was quiet and calm and the best thing was that my mind was cry calm after a good night sleep. I put my alarm clock for 22 minutes, as I decided yesterday, but when my time was up I felt I can do more and so I did. I stopped the watch after 34 minutes and was so happy about this wonderful achievement. It gave me so much calm for he rest if the day and a real push to keep doing that. So this is a very short entry and as soon as I am done I'm going to sit for my night meditation. I hope I will have a good experience as well. I am thankful for this gift of calm I am finding. I am thankful for every little step on my way to a more aware life. I am thankful for every moment of my life, just as they are.

Meditation

Day 1385 - I decided to start meditating on a daily basis. With the goal of doing it for an hour twice a day. Yesterday it was very difficult and I could not even keep the 20 minutes I set on my alarm clock at the moment. But tonight it was better and my mind did not play havoc with me so the 20 minutes passed very easily and I will try tomorrow a 10% increase, meaning 22 minutes. Even though it's only few days I can feel the difference already and I hope it will get much better with time. I want to quiet the endless chatter in my brain and to get better control over my reactions, to learn to be fully conscious and mindful. I own a mystic shop so I see that as a great opportunity for me to grow spiritually and meditation is one of the best practices for mindfulness. So here I go, I am taking my first baby steps in his fascinating direction and I hope it will be my quest and my journey for the rest of my life. I doubt if I can reach enlightenment in the little time I still have on this planet in this life time, but for sure I can make a real progress and start my next cycle in a better place, closer to that goal. And regardless, it will make the quality of my life so much better and richer because of that. So I am thankful for the progress I MADD today. I am thankful I got the time and place and will to develop myself in this direction. I am thankful for every moment of my life.

My dream

Day 1384 - a good day in the store after a very challenging month. After few very quite weeks we had a very active traffic of customers. A welcome change. I see obstacles in as Buddhist way as I can, telling myself that it's temporary and I have to learn to accept valleys in the same way I welcome hilltops; with gracious heart. We cannot just welcome one aspect of life and not the opposite, we'll never fully appreciate success without the opposit colors of failure, or at least hardship. So here I am with a humble heart accepting both and putting my trust in the thinking matter if this universe that it will let me succeed in this heart quest of mine; that it will let me and my partner make this dream a reality.

A midweek visit

Day 1383 - my daughter came to visit tonight and we got to spend few hours together. She is planning to go on a few months trip and is, of course very excited about it. It is kind of a coming of age tradition in our country to travel abroad for a few months after getting out of the army and before college and now she worked to save enough money and is in full gear, planning wise. I think it is a great tradition and I am so happy she is going to take full advantage of it. When I was her age it was not as common but I still had it in mind. But I let the circumstances to take control and forgot to stir my own wagon and I know I missed a very special experience, something that cannot be done later in life. And so, I am so very happy she is smarter and going the right way, collecting memories that will last a life time and will probably shape her life a great deal. I am happy I can do it vicariously through her plans and hopefully in a few years I will do my late bloomers' trip. Different but still very special. I am thankful to see my daughter here after a month I didn't see her. I am thankful to see her so happy and full of life, full of plans. I am thankful for a wonderful evening we got to spend together.

Back home and off the air

Day 1380 I was on route with no Internet access. Days 1381 and 1382 I lost my SIM card during the trip and could not reinstall a new one until Sunday. So i got to spend a relaxing weekend with no Internet access. A very quite one. Having a quality time with my partner after two weeks away. And a very rainy Friday added to the coziness and the romance. I really missed him very much and it was good to be back together. On Saturday we had a long hike on the beach, went to a restaurant and I mainly rested, a little jet lagged on this side of the ocean as well. And today I finally got my phone back on and I am now officially back. I am so very happy to be back in my routine, with all the great hospitality of my friend and my kids it's still not home and I was out of my daily life, yet not really a tourist so a little uncomfortable situation. But I am doing happily every time because it gives me a chance to sped some time with my kids. And I cherish that so very much. I am thankful to be back home. I am thankful for the wonderful time I got to spend with my partner this weekend. I am thankful for finally being back on the air today.