Day 1685 -

Day 1684 - a day that started very early and only now is coming to its end. But as the saying goes "it's all well if it ends well"; so it's all well. Some minor repairs that went better than I thought, few interesting people that I met, an overall good day in the store. All the ingredients for a good day I am thankful for. And did I mention another date night? Lets not forget that. When we are getting into fight I should remember that as well and not take all that for granted. His tenderness, his care. I am so thankful he is part of my life.

Day 1683 - going to sleep with meditation instructions playing in the background is a great recipe for a very good and relaxing night sleep. And when it's in the wake of a very lovely day, than all the better. And I can only be thankful for that. It's sure not a given. I have a wonderful life, I am so blessed and I am thankful for every moment I'm here on this planet. So many reasons to be thankful. And as the poet Rumi said: " there are thousand ways to kneal and thank The Lord". What can I say to top it?! Amen.

Day 1682 -

Day 1681 - I was trying to schedule an appointment and could only have one in two weeks, which was way too far out for me so today, after few more fruitless calls I decided to go there in person and see if I can do something. As I was there with one of his officers, trying to find a solution, he popped in and said that everything is solid booked and I can get an earlier time only if someone else cancels. He was still in the room, when his secretary came in to say that some just called to cancel! So many times I talk about that - you just have to be very clear about what you want and the planet/thinking matter/God will deliver. So I am very thankful for this celestial intervention.

Day 1680 - learning to ask for help is a step out of a comfort zone for someone with an attitude of "I can do everything by myself", like me.

Day 1679 - Tuesday is our short day and we usually take it for a restful afternoon. But sometimes we have to go to our suppliers to buy things. And this is what we did today. But we decided to make it a date and went to our favorite restaurant in the city for a very lovely evening. With the very long hours we work we don't do that often so it was a special treat which I enjoyed very much. I am thankful for a rate opportunity for a date night. It's fun.

Day 1678 - the weather is nice and cool this evening. A real relief after very hot and humid days and even night. We are sitting on the porch and I'm on the verge of being cold. How wonderful. I am thankful for a very pleasant eve. It's not a given this time a year in this part of the world!!

Day 1677 - I was struggling with the 180 turn on the bike for the past two lessons, ever since I moved to the better bike. And it continued for the first half of today's lesson as well. At that point my instructor have me a little top that changed everything. From that moment I nailed every single turn with room to spare. I was elated. It's hard to grasp how critical the gaze is in a motorcycle ride; it's everything. If I look deep enough into the turn the bike just goes there with no pressure on my part. Amazing. I am so thankful for a great lesson today and a very good progress!! I am thankful to my partner that comes with me to my lessons and helps me analyze my mistakes and ways to correct them and to top it all teaches me all the time the theory behind good motorcycle riding; giving me the needed edge to stay alive on the road.

Day 1676 - I finished my painting this morning. The second in my newly found understanding and control of my art. I am so happy with this inner guide who helps me nevigate through this complex land of painting. I find myself just knowing what to do or how to go about things, which before I needed my I teacher's help there. And I found again my own voice and the passion long lost. I am so thankful for that.

Day 1675 - because if the slow business in our store and its uncertain future we almost stopped the purchase of merchandise attempting to lower the inventory. And it worked pretty well for the past two months. But we started to be very low on few items and when two days ago we had an Internet purchase of an item we are missing we decided to pay a visit to that supplier.

Day 1674 -

Day 1673 - so far August proved to be an extremely slow month with very few costumers in the store and zero Internet purchases. It's disheartening to be there day in and day out and endure it. We tried to keep our morale high and think that it's temporary, that its a trial and things will pick up. And indeed as of the beginning of the week we got a little more activity and today was the pinacle of that with some serious purchases and even two interesting Internet orders. I hope that this will be the turning point.

Day 1672 - today I got to ride for the first time on the better motorcycle. The problem is that you have to develope minimum skills before you can ride it. And today I did it. I was a little intimidated before starting the lesson, but I actually grasped it very fast and really enjoyed the better bike. I am very happy my skills are getting better and I can feel the difference and appreciate it.

Day 1671 - a morning stroll and workout on the beach in a very humid weather

Day 1670 - tired, so very tired. I think part of it is because I stopped doing the workout we started a while back. But I think it's just too important to keep neglecting it, so tomorrow, rise and shine, I'm back to business. As for right now - a quick shower, a meditation session and then I can call it a day. It's late but I'm not complaining, I watched few very important marketing videos I hope I can replicate some of what I saw. So let the show begin.

Day 1669 - on my way back home I stopped to visit my daughter. She just moved to a new house with her boyfriend and I didn't see their place yet. It's so wonderful to see how my children are all grown up and treading their way in this complex world of ours. And here I see my youngest daughter having a place of her own, beautifully arranged and decorated (she did a much better job than I did and she only lives there for two weeks), studying, working and in a serious realationship with a very nice guy. It makes me so happy and so proud of her. My heart is full of thanks for all she has in her life, for all she does. It's all a parent wishes for.

Day 1668 - at my mom for the weekend. For the first time since my dad died I'm here alone with her. It's very strange to be here and not find him anymore. It's strange to be here just the two of us. But I am very happy to see that she is doing well, keeping herself busy and in high spirit. It's not trivial after living with someone for more than half a century and spending the last twenty some years, since they retired, together 24 hours a day. So even if they had some serious frictions since my dad's injury and his increasing dependance on her. I can't even imagine how it feels and I never will.

Day 1667 - we didn't have even one costomer when I left the store at 4:40 pm today. Another difficult day in a very slow month. But by the time I came back we already had one and few more came later in the evening to end the day as an ok day when we compare it to other months but the best one yet this month. So I am very thankful for a little improvement in our sales this month and for last moment purchases. I hope it will end the dry spell.

Day 1666 - another painting night. During the day I watched a video clip how to draw a tree and I came home to do just that. It was a drawing not painting instructions but I can make the jump no problem. So it is not done yet but in about an hour, a tree grew on my canvas and took shape. I am amazed once again what little instruction one needs. It's all inside us dormant and just waiting to be yanked out of the slumber. I look at this unfinished tree and it looks better than any tree I painted before because now I know what I am doing. The painting doesn't just happens but instead I am in the driver's seat and directing my painting to where I want the to be. I am thankful for another creative night.

Day 1665 - two weeks ago I signed up for motorcycle lessons so to get one more of my Bucket list items checked; and even more importantly, something I resolved to get when I left home five years ago. After a week I realized that the instructor is not going to let me ride the motorcycle in a very dishonest way and in contrary to what he said when we started this journey. I told him that I am leaving and I will find another school. This Sunday I started in the new school with a much better instructor and much better attitude. He put me in the MC right away, did not see any problem with my height (which was the lame excuse of the first one) and sure enough I rode it with no problems. Yesterday I had my second lesson in which I improve a lot and today I started practicing the slalom. The funny thing is that it looks difficult from the outside but actually exciting when I am the one doing it. So of course I have to practice but it feels good already. I know it will take me awhile to get my lisence but I enjoy the road so much that it really OK with me. I know not too many women have MC lisence and I will be very happy to join that small group. I am thankful for a wonderful lesson today; I enjoyed every minute of it.

Day 1664 - In the past few days I had a very strong urge to paint. I started by watching few videos on YouTube and it became almost an obsession. To the point that I dream about it at night and think about it all day. Yesterday I finally went to buy canvas. This morning I took a canvas I prepared with aquamarine blue back ground and just started painting. I tried one technic I saw but I couldn't duplicate it, so I opted for something different a moon rising over the ocean and its light reflecting in the water. This evening when I came back from work I continued to work on the painting. Not done yet but starting to look interesting. And I enjoy it so much. For the first time I'm in the driver's seat. I paint what I want and not what comes out. And it's a very important achievement. It's not just a random mess but an organized chaos, if you will. The painting is not done yet but you can see where it's going and the atmosphere and mood it brings up. I am so happy for having the idea and actually take the right steps and start my quest to improve my skills and get better.

Day 1663 - at the wake of disappointment I got to find something better. One instructor told me I can't do something but luckily I didn't listen but checked elsewhere and was rewarded for that. The moral of the story is simple enough - if you want something don't let setbacks discourage you but fight for your right to do that. No matter how big or small the issue is. It also doesn't matter wether I'll succeed or not, because I also fight for my right to fail; for my right to self expression.

Day 1662 - a very hot day and a very long trip. Taking my son to almost the same places we drove last week. A little heritage never hurt anyone. It was an interesting road trip. I forgot my phone at home, something unthinkable nowadays and it got my mom and daughter really worked up, worrying about me. I think it's part of the price we pay for our technological advances. We are always 'on' and never just relaxing, kicking our shoes off and disappearing into the unknown.

Day 1661 - I woke up this morning to a 'what's up' message from my oldest daughter that her partner gave birth tonight to a healthy little baby girl!! How exciting! Only problem us that I'm about ten thousand miles away so I don't get to feel or be a real grandma. But that was part of the deal I chose when I decided to move here. I knew they will live their life over there and I won't be part of it. As sad as it is I would make that choice again. I probably would not move there at all if I could re-live my life again. But it's not about me tonight but about this little girl that is now part if our growing family. Two granddaughters, I can't grasp that at all, I sure don't feel like a grandma. I am so happy for my daughter for all the happiness that this family brought and will bring into her life. I'm so happy to see her so grown up with amazing job, serious responsibilities and now a family of two children. I wish her all the happiness and fulfillment possible. May her life be filled with lovingkindness, may they all be well. May the be peaceful and at ease, may they be happy.

Day 1660 - a few hours discussion about the underlining meaning of a movie we saw years ago. How interesting. Going after one's dreams; duty vs. self fulfillment; living consciously vs. unawareness; forbidden love... Layer upon layer of ideas and conclusions. The covered bridges of Madison county. I love that my BF can look so deeply into something most people take at face value. I love that we can have a philosophical talk like that. It's challenging and make me think out of the box.

Day 1659 - I took a break from painting and my efforts to come back were not very successful, I couldn't find my voice again. I did paint but it was very uninspiring, they were really nothing. But I still have the urge to paint and I decided that like I did at the beginning I should look on line and try to find interesting subjects and try to recreate them on my canvas. So I did that last week and indeed I found few interesting pictures and downloaded them for future use. Today while surfing with the same idea in mind I came across few tutorial videos that actually show how to paint trees and clouds and snow scene and sea scape. And after watching few of those videos I realized why I felt stucked; I have no technique, I never learned that and thus everything I did was pure chance instead of planning. And this is what I need to take my painting to the next level. Since no matter if I paint realistically or abstract I need to know what I'm doing. So I preped my canvas tonight and tomorrow I'll start working in a more methodical fashion. I hope I'll have interesting results to show for that. I am thankful for this wealth of information I found online. I am thankful to all those individuals who put all this great info for free; I am thankful for the constant reminder to me not to forget my dream.

Day 1658 - it's not even 10 pm yet but I'm so tried that I'm falling asleep here on the porch while typing my blog. I don't know why I'm so tired but it doesn't change the fact. So an early bed time for me tonight. How special.

Day 1657 - I used to dye my hair every few weeks, as the grey started to show, but in the past year or two I am not that diligent about that and I take two months or more to do that. In between I keep debating should I just let it get back to its color (or lack there of). I am in the same junction once again. The hair is long and the middle of the part is grey and the question pops up again: "should I dye my hair;"l

AC

Day 1656 - the heat wave is still going on. At 8 am as well as at 11pm it's hot and humid and you feel sticky all the time. And it's sure unpleasant and the energy is low; you don't feel like doing anything in a day like that. I admire my daughter for working so hard on the new house she's moving into in a place much hotter than here even if less humid. I guess the tolerance is going down with the age or the energy comes from this new beginning. I, for sure, am not there right now in this level of activity or enthusiasm. I am very thankful though for airconditioners at home, in the store and in the car. I try to be as much as I can in one if these there places. It's not a given that I have them; last year in our rented apartment we didn't have any. So I really appreciate that perk.

Day 1655 - A very hot and humid aturday, definatly not suitable for a hike but after a whole week being indoors, in the store, we decided to go for a motorized trip. We drove north to the Golan Heights, an area I visited many times before but I got to see it from a whole new perspective. My partner took part in the Yom Kippur war in that area and had many memories from that time. He was a very young man then and now he heaves as he slowly climbs the mountain he once charged fully armored with weapon and all. But the pain and the nightmares never go away even decades later. I think it's one of the first times he revisited it and I really appreciate the effort it took. I came from the navy where the war is distant and I am a woman so I've never been to a battlefield anyway, but an infantry man has to go through hell and back. The sounds and the smells never go away he tells me, and only today I also understood how vivid these memories are. There are things that go with you till the day you die he told me, and you never come back the same person who went into the battle. How sad that this is the reality of our life here and generation after generation of our youngsters are subjected to the same faite. True, they know how the treat PTSD better than they did 42 years ago but I am sure the mental wounds are there for life even nowadays. We drove through the Golan, an area so crucial to our coutry's survival, and everything there is blooming. Green trees, manicured gardens, beautiful homes and vast open spaces with nothing but dry grass in between the settelments. Everything was on fire then he told me, and the sky was black and the air full of the sounds of bombs and artilery shells and planes... Almost forty two years later and nothings shows the scars of war but the bodies and minds of those who fought there...