Some changes are needed

Day 1107 - having a store means very little free time. It means long hours and because of our living situation we have to add to that also two hours a day of commute. The end result is bad eating schedule and no physical activity. All this has to stop since it is taking a heavy toll on our bodies, whether we feel it at the moment or not. So we are going to make some changes in both aspects. Start eating healthy food again, sleep more and add some workout into our days. Young bodies can take this kind of abuse and stay healthy but I am going to be 56 this month and my partner 64 we have to pay more attention to our health or we might cause irreversible damage, and no excuses will help to change that. So here we go, a turning point, I hope in our daily life; a turning point for the better. And starting today, no delays.
 
I am thankful for this wake up call, before any permanent damage was done. I am thankful for this opportunity to make positive changes, to live healthier. I am thankful for the first day on what I hope will be our road to great health and more balanced life.

Back home

Day 1106 - I am back home after three days away. And today is a week since my father's injury. I have to admit that when I saw him last Saturday I did not believe he'll leave the hospital in such good condition and that he'll start walking by then. I was afraid that he won't be able to survive it for very long. I am so very happy. I hope he still has many years here with us. I am also in awe of my mom. She is almost as old and has great difficulty walking and here she was strong and ready to do what ever is needed. I feel prevedged to be their daughter, to witness what they do on a daily basis.
 
I am thankful my dad is doing so much better and that he started rehab today. I am thankful for all the lessons of this past week. I am thankful to my partner for taking care if everything while i was away. I am thankful to be back home.

Something about giving

Day 1105 - my second and last night at the hospital. Being here, helping my dad is a very special experience for me. I've been away for so many years, I was removed spiritually for many years. I harbored so many negative feelings when I was younger. And finally comes a time in an adult human's live when wisdom starts to kick in. at least I can testify it did that with me. As I am getting older my horizons widen, I judge less and I bless more. And in the past three years since I moved back to my country, I was able to open a new chapter with my parents, clean of any negative feelings, of bad memories. I was finally able to understand and to love them the way I should. So for me being here at the hospital, for a few days take the role of the giver, the helper is something very special. I do it with a heart full of love to the both of them. I do it and hope that I will have the good fortune of doing it for many years to come. I think that this accident opened my heart so much more to both of them and enabled me to see them in a very different light. And most importantly, it made me see things in me I didn't know exist and I am so happy to find them. It is past midnight, tomorrow I am going back home as my dad will be transferred to a rehab center; this little moment in time is coming to an end, but it will be cherished forever.

I am forever thankful for this opportunity to be here and be of help. I am thankful I live in this country and can do that. I am thankful for the opportunity to pay back to the people, my parents, who did so much for me. I am thankful to my partner for doing everything in the store in the past two day, freeing my head to fully be here.  

A night at the hospital

Day 1104 - I came to the hospital today and spent the day with my father. When I was young he held my little hand in his big and strong palm and made me feel safe, now the roles are changing and I am the strong one taking care of him. I know he will get better, but he is now weak and frail and at the moment very helpless and it is our role to take care of him. So I am here tonight at his bedside, getting ready for an uncomfortable sleep on a couch, but so willing to do that. My mom stayed with him the fist two nights and we, their children, are now taking turns to be here so she can rest as well. I am sitting here looking at this beloved man who was so good to me and I am thankful I can be here tonight. I can never pay back for all they did for me, it is the kind of thing you pay forward, but being here tonight is a little something I can do for both of them and I am so happy for that. I wish him a fast recovery, so far it looks pretty promising, and many more years with us here on this beautiful planet of ours.

I am thankful I can be here tonight and take care of my dad. I am thankful I live here in thins country again so I can do that. I am thankful for all my parents ever did for me, I wouldn't be the woman I am without their love and care.
 

Awareness

Day 1103 - in the past few day I lose or misplace a lot of things. It culminated today with my search for the remote control to the parking garage. I have to live in greater awareness, I have to pay attention to my actions and to things around me; I cannot live in a dreamlike state. People talk about enlightenment a lot. I think that enlightenment is living life fully, living the moment and in the moment and most importantly, be fully present. A tarot card brought this to my attention, highlighted for me the fact that I am not there and in the past week I lost some ground, even in comparison to my regular state of being. Crisis is a time when we have to be at our best and I have to double my efforts and concentrate and pay attention.
 
I am thankful for this reminder to my lack of awareness. I am thankful since now I can take some steps to make it better. I am thankful to all my loved ones, near and far, for being in my life. I am thankful for this unique opportunity we all have right now to be a family and come close together.

Examining my day

Day 1102 - assuming we deserve all the good and all the bounty life presenting to us, do we stop often enough to ask if what we have in our life is that "best". An interesting question that came up in a discussion and left me pondering. So lets check my day for example in light of this question. I had a relaxed morming with my beloved, a few hours at the store my favorite place in the world at the moment; I spent few hours at my job for sure not my favorite but its my safety net at the moment; I hope my store will pick up enough so I can drop this one at some point. During the day I had numerous phone calls to my mom and my siblings regarding my dad - they sure deserve every ounce of concern and care. They did so much for all of us, it is time for us to pay it back. So looking at my day I feel blessed. I have so much happiness and bounty in my life, so much good. I am so lucky to have such wonderful family; such wonderful parents. I this I have life I deserve and I am surrounded by people I deserve. How lucky I am!

I am thankful for every for a wonderful day. I am thankful for all the bounty in my life. I am thankful for every moment, good or bad.

A visit to the hospital

Day 1101 - we went to visit my father today at the hospital and it was so difficult. his condition changed overnight from "my father is getting older" to "my father is a very old man". He was there lying in bed so weak and frail not very coherent not always sure where he is or what's going on around him. I have to admit, it's heart braking. And it sounds like I got the better part of the day. In the morning he was totally out, totally delusional and not coherent. They took him for dialysis and it all changed. He did come out of that, he recognized everyone around him, but the trauma is still too sever for him to come back fully. I hope it will happened and soon. It's so sad to see that, to know who he was only few days ago and I can only hope for the better. But putting it perspective he had a major surgery only 24 hours ago so he has the right to be weak and feel bad and be in and out of capacity.
I was there at the hospital knowing full well that his time is running out, that both of them have so little left here and I should cherish every day I still can. No excuses for not going to visit, not letting my life getting in the way. I sure hope it's not too late...

I am thankful my father did get better after a very bad start to the day. I am thankful my daughter came with me to see him, as difficult as it was for her. I am praying for my father's recovery both physically and mentally. Amen.

My dad's accident

Day 1100 - it is my father. He tripped yesterday at home and had a very bad fall, broke his thigh bone and was rushed to the hospital with excruciating pain. Today he had a surgery to fix it and now starts the long way back to recovery. All day long my siblings and I exchanged phone calls about news from the hospital as well as plans for the next few day. My mom is there at the hospital with him and we will take turns coming to visit and help. I am very concerned since I know what can happen at this age but I hope my dad is strong enough physically and mentally to recover and that my mom will not give in under the pressure and the physically challenging weeks ahead. In one unfortunate moment all of our plans changed and the only thing that matters is my dad's recovery. It sure puts life in the right prospective. So my plans for the weekend were scratched as well and I will head south for an afternoon visit. I am sending tonight as well all the healing energies toward my dad for a fast and complete recovery.
 
I am thankful we are a strong and loving family and we all come together to help at times of need. I am thankful I am here in this country and not far away as it was with previous crises. I am thankful to my mom, my siblings and my daughter for the wonderful network we have here.

Bad News

Day 1099 - I got a call tonight but I did not inform my daughter yet and I don't want to write things before talking to her. So this is a very short entry. I am concerned and sad but I know things will get better. I was in a special meeting tonight working with special healing energies and I sent all of them to the right address. I hope it works just as people testified. I will do what ever I can to help as well. Tonight the only thing I am thinking about is sending energies of healing and of fast recovery.
 
I am thankful it didn't end worse than it did. I am thankful I have people in my life I love so much that it hurts so much to know they are not well. I am thankful for this wake-up call; our time here is limited and postponing visits might mean never seeing a loved one ever again so I promise myself to be more diligent about that.  

Enjoying the journey

Day 1098 - It's been a very long day that started at 5:30 am and only now we came home, at10:30 pm. Add to that the less than 4 hours we had to sleep tonight and the almost an hour long drive under these circumstances and you can imagine how happy I am to call it a night. But regardless how physically tired I am, my spirit is high and I am so happy. They always say you have to enjoy the journey and not only the destination, I think that now when I am doing something I connect with so deeply I understand that saying; I love every moment of my days, and doing it with the man I love makes even better.
 
I am thankful for the privilege to do something I enjoy so much. I am thankful for every moment if every day. I am thankful to my partner for being there with me every step of the way. I M thankful I can go to sleep now.

Learning from mistakes of others

Day 1097 - We spent this evening with our networking group. It was an evening of reprements by the leader of the group telling them they don't do enough and how they can do better. We decided to come even though it did not concer us since we are only three days in this group and it sure was a good decision. I think I learned more tonight about how to do things than by coming to ten regular meetings. Here he was very assertive and really dissected situations and how thing can be done better since at the end of the day we are all here to promote our businesses. I am very happy we had an opportunity to attend such an important meeting, and probably save months of a learning curve and so many mistakes. I think today will serve as a great stepping stone in our campaign to promote our store.

I am thankful for our decision to attend today's meeting. I am thankful for all the help and tips offered to us by the head of the group. I am thankful we got the chance to learn from the mistakes of others instead of learning everything from our mistakes. I am thankful that at half past midnight I can go to bed for five short ours before waking up to our Wednesday networking group.

A wonderful spring day

Day 1096 - it is January and in the place I called home until I moved back here it is still winter. It will be winter for many more weeks. They won't even consult the groundhog for another 3 weeks and here we had a beautiful day. It was sunny with bright blue skies and warm In the middle of January I am wearing a very light shirt and in the afternoon a cardigan and that is enough to keep me warm. True, I wish I could spend more time outdoors in a beautiful day like that, but even just walking to my car and to work from the parking lot, and looking outside and enjoying the spring around me is good and it makes me happy. I am the kind of person who can live in an everlasting spring so this is perfect time of the year for me. I know winter is not over yet, but for today we had a wonderful spring day and I am so thankful for that.
 
I am thankful for a beautiful day we had today. I am thankful to live in a place where in the middle of January it's even possible to have a day like that. I am thankful for going late to work, thus getting the opportunity to enjoy that.

Letting go of the weekend

Day 1095 - still basking in the warmth and light of Saturday, just as one should. It is said that Sunday still carries with it some of the holiness of Saturday and so it has to be a little slow as if we ease our way into the bustling of regular week days. It really how I felt today, as if I want to hold on to the special atmosphere of this last weekend; as if I don't really want to let it go. I feel so blessed I feel this way. I feel so blessed every day for having such a partner, for running a business together and even if sometimes it brings tension into our life it also brings so much good. We build something together, we learn to see a side we never knew exists in our partner and we both work toward the same goals with complete trust in each other. Lats year we trusted each other hiking the Israel Trail this year we trust each other with running a complex business together. I find it a most wonderful thing. And I feel so lucky for having such a partner. I wished for him yet didn't know he was really there... Sunday, slowly letting go of the weekend and getting down to business; until next week.
 
I am thankful again for the special weekend I find so hard to let go of. I am thankful for a good day. I am thankful for every moment, for every discussion, for every moment we spend together. I am thankful for my life, ust as they are.

A wonderful day

Day 1094 - originally we planned to drive to the city and hang flyers but we changed our plans. The website had a priority over the flyers so we stayed home and worked. But we took our time waking up in the morning. We had late breakfast late everything. Music, laughter, time to slow down and eat well, rest and recharge, time to enjoy each other's company and find once again how wonderful life is when love is part of it. With every passing day it is more apparent. I am so lucky to be where I am right now. A simple day with nothing special except for the fact that it was a weekend with the man I love.
 
I am thankful for an amazing weekend. I am thankful for tender moments that remind us how lucky we are. I am thankful for more happiness I ever wished for or thought possible at my age. I am thankful for my life, just as they are.  

I am thankful for Friday

Day 1093 - Friday, mall day store day, short day. Three good things how wonderful. We are doing better at the mall since people are starting to know us. We are doing better at the store all good things, all good and important steps on our road to establish the store and to top it off we have a short day on Friday so we get home in a normal hour and eat nice dinner in a normal hour and even go to bed om a normal hour and the best is yet to come - going to sleep with no alarm clock!! Friday, so much good pact into a single day...
 
I am thankful for a great day on all the fronts. I am thankful for a good ending to the week. I am thankful I can go to sleep now and enjoy a long and restful night. I am thankful for all the blessings in my life.

An apology

Day 1092 - last week we wrote an email to our networking group mailing list, over 300 people. We wanted to tell them about our store. But our website is not up yet so the company that is building it for us was in charge of sending out the newsletter. We were very excited about that. A great exposure to a very defined mailing list. But alas, we make plans and He laughs. The mail went out with out our letter, just our brochure, and even that did not go out well and was missing our address. In short, it looked like spam. We were very upset and had some very assertive talk with the ceo of the company and the agreement was that she will take care of our account now and that they will send an apology to the whole group. It took two days but today it finally went out and now we feel OK. We did all we can to correct the mistake and from here on we will let the universe take care of the ramifications. I feel good about that email and hope the damage will be minimal. We work so hard to get these lists, to make people hear about us and come to the store and I don't want sloppy work take it the other way around. I can only hope this will be a blessing in disguise.
 
I am thankful the apology letter is out. I am thankful we caught it and had the right idea of how to try and minimize the damage. I am thankful for yet another long and wonderful day. I am thankful it comes to its end and I can go to sleep now.
 

S

Day 1091 - we had a wonderful meeting this morning with our networking group. The longer we attend the more comfortable we feel and others feel about us. Persistence is the name of the game. It is just the same for running the everyday activities in the store. At the beginning there were days that not a single person set a foot in the  store, and you have to be pretty confident to brush it off. But now a days it just doesn't happen. I cannot say that

Another long night on the computer

Day 1090 - I was working on the website products for the past three hours and it is again past midnight. Luckily, I decided to leave my laptop charger at the store, I just got the warning of 15% battery life so I decided to quite so I'll still have time to write my blog (and sleep for four hours). Tomorrow is our morning networking group meeting which means waking up at 5:30 am and leaving the house no later than 6:30 so It's really good something forced me to stop my work and go to bed. I have so much work and it goes so slowly that it seems I'll never finish it, but I thing it is more important to go to sleep now. Another very long day ahead of me tomorrow. But We are moving along and I managed to put in 10 new things so I am a little closer  and the website will be a little more rich in content and at the end of the day, this is what I am trying to achieve by this mad dash to the finish line. Once it's on the air I'll have to put every product individually and it will take so much more time than right now when it will be loaded all at once... few more days to go like that and one full weekend.

I am thankful for a very productive evening. I am thankful I have the mental and physical strength for yet another very long day. I am thankful I decided to leave the charger for my laptop in the store so I can finally call it a day.

Premature joy

Day 1089 - I thought I had time, that I can post 5 items every day but during a phone call with the people who built our website I found out that I am the bottleneck, that as soon as I can finish my part they can load it all and we are ready to go. So back to the grinding stone and to long hours of work. I put about 15 products today and I'll try to do the same every day now so I'll have the bulk of the store ready in a week time. It probably is a good thing - our website will be ready faster, but alas, it's 1 am now and I just now decided to call it a day. Yes, another long day...

I am thankful I can go to sleep now after many hours of work. I am thankful I still have a few days to do it and a long weekend of work. I am thankful its all for the promotion of our store.

Baby Steps

Day 1088 - I keep running in circles, not having enough hours in the day to do all I have to do, but today I came to a realization that this is not going to change and what I have to do is change my attitude. I am not going to run after the impossible but set small and more realistic goals that I can actually achieve. So I am not going to look at the website and think of the hundreds of articles I have to post but only set a goal of writing about 5 today and when I am done I can do something else. So I did that and now I feel all happy since I finished my quota instead of looking at it and think what a monumental job it is. Small bites that I can swallow and not choke on them is the way to go, baby steps. And by doing only 5 a day I will finish it in a few weeks but the quality will be better and I will not collapse at the finish line. I did my work for today and I can put it down, take a shower and read a book - what a thought!!
 
I am thankful for the idea, not new, but too easy to forget, to take it slowly. I am thankful for the amount of work I did today and ready for tomorrow. I am thankful for a relaxed evening.

A special visit

Day 1087 - My daughter was here for the weekend. I was very busy since I have to bring my VAT report to my accountant tomorrow and I am working on the store's website so I didn't have to much time to spend with her. But regardless I am so happy she is here. I cleaned the house after three weeks I didn't have time to do that and hung the washed laundry, and she made a wonderful breakfast at the same time. And we got to sit down and chat for a while. We don't get to spend much time together between our very busy schedules so it was so nice. and considering the other option of not seeing each other at all until our schedule will get better, even being busy together is nice. I hope that in a few weeks my workload will go down and quality time will mean something again. But at the present moment I don't have that luxury. Time is my most scarce resource right now. I have finally finished my work for the day at 1:45 am and I still have to take a shower and wake up at 6 am for a new day and a new week... starting a new business literally takes every waking hour! No complains, just stating the obvious.

I am thankful to my daughter for coming here to spend the weekend with me. I am thankful for all she did here, for a wonderful breakfast, for her company. I am thankful that at this hour I can finally can call it a day.

My Friday Routine

Day 1086 - a long week is coming to its end. I was in the mall today again Just as I did last week and as I plan to do for so many more weeks. I was there talking to people and letting them know about our store. And the good news is that someone who saw me last week at the mall came today to the store, loved it and bought few things and later came to the mall and looked for me to tell me how beautiful and special our store is!! It feels so good to know it's working. The reason we decided to go and open a stall at the mall is to let people know about it. We decided that the best both price wise and targeted wise is to go to the place where our clients are. There used to be a Mystic shop at that mall but it closed about two years ago, short enough to remember and long enough to look for an alternative. And so some of their clients might come to us if they'll know about it. I sell enough to cover the cost and bring a small income but most importantly, because of that it doesn't cost me anything to be in the mall, only time and my time right now is dedicated to spread the word, so it's perfect venue. More people told me today they come to visit and I hope at least some of them will visit and will become our little circle of friends. I came home very late and my daughter was already waiting here so a nice evening followed a good day. Nothing more I can ask for but to go to sleep right now and work on my sleep deprivation.

I am thankful for a second mall outing. I am thankful we saw today the first fruits of this effort. I am thankful for a wonderful evening with my daughter, it's been a while and I am happy she is here for a visit. I am thankful for the many hours of sleep ahead of me. Good Night!!

Cooking late at night

Day 1085 - at 11:30 pm I was in my kitchen cutting onions and carrots preparing soup for tomorrow. My daughter is conning here for the weekend and with the crazy hours this week I had no time to cook. So most of the food ill cook tomorrow afternoon but a soup takes a long time to cook so I decided to give it a head start. I am so happy my daughter is coming but ill have to show it in a different way. Food for sure will not take center stage, unless we'll do it together. I'm so tired now and I have only few hours to sleep but I feel so much better now about having at least something to offer.
 
I am thankful my daughter is coming tomorrow. I am thankful for buzy day that left no time for anything else but had several walk-ins to the store   I am thankful for a blessed day.

One more step...

Day 1084 - We got our business cards and the roll-up today so we are now ready for the second mall appearance this coming Friday. It's funny how much I was missing having business cards in the past few weeks; we don't realize how much it becomes part of the business culture. Talking to people, telling them about the store is part of my daily routine but I cannot bring it to the right place if I can't hand them my card. But all this now is part of the past and from now on we have no more excuses. We printed 5000 cards now our mission is to give them away, in a meaningful way, in the shortest time. How about 5 cards a day to begin with and we'll take it from there. Loaded with cards I am going to work now hoping to make an impression and find a reason to give them away; 5 cards a day...

I am thankful for one more step in our way to a full blown business. I am thankful for every step on this path. I am thankful for another long day that is coming to an end and for another long day awaiting us in a few short hours.

Networking the evening away

Day 1083 - finally back home at 11 pm. But I am not complaining. We went to a networking group that a friend invited us and it was a very good meeting. It was a very energetic and to the point and it seems like a lot of deals are being done within the group. So yes, our hours are very long but I feel like we are making real progress. We get our name out and advertise our store and hopefully we will get business from this group and referrals. Still a long day, especially combined with our networking group of tomorrow. Less than six hours to sleep, not enough for sure.

I am thankful for a great meeting. I am thankful for having few hours to sleep.

Being thankful

Day 1082 - nothing special to repot, how wonderful!! In light of the latest events in our life, just having a quiet day works wonders for us. Waking up at a normal hour today, arriving home before 10 pm, small dinner and simply spending time with each other, talking into the night. It is so wonderful that after more than a year we are together we have so much to talk about, that we are never bored with each other. I made a wish to the universe for the kind if man I am looking for and I got what I was looking for. With every passing day I know more how lucky I am to have him in my life. Little did I know how wonderful it can be. And is not to say that we don't fight sometimes, even bitterly, but we both know how lucky we are, how rare it is to find real love. So an exciting day or an uneventful day, who cares? At the end of the day we still have each other and that's what matter most.
 
I am thankful for finding love at my age. I am thankful for every day - good, bad, boring, exciting. I am thankful for every day on this earth.

Day 1081 - for the first time since we opened the store we had a good traffic in the store. Obviously this is very exciting.

Posters

Day 1080 - Saturday is our day of rest but we keep going string. We drive to the city and hung posters on bullitin boards all over town. It took us few hours but again, we have to get our name out and we are determined to do what ever it takes to get there. I am so thankful I have a partner who sees that the same way and won't shy if anything. Still even though we worked we had such fun time.

A booth at the mall

Day 1079 - I held a booth today at the mall. We have to get our name out, and the fact that we physically opened a store does not mean they do. So we have to go out and spread the word. We chose to open a booth in the shopping mall near by and sell some of our good and distribute flyers of our store. I have to admit it was so much fun. I love this kind of interaction and I felt like I'm doing something good for our business so it was a wonderful experience. I am planning to do that for the next few months every Friday.

I am thankful for this great experience. I am thankful for all the creative ways we find to advertise. I am thankful my partner is with me in this roller coaster of adventure.

Together in time of grief

Day 1078 - another day passed and we are trying to get back to normal but it cannot happened so early. The funeral took place only yesterday and one cannot just turn on or off  in a moment. Grieving is a process and it had just begun. But in the mean time we spend time together and it enables him to do the necessary work, the soul search and start the long journey towards healing. I know my presence in his life right now is so important and I am so happy we have found each other at the right time. To be with someone you love in times like that is so important. So I worked in the store all this week so he can go about all the necessary arrangements of the funeral, and so he won't be alone. I have to admit that despite the circumstances I enjoyed the week very much and it gets me thinking, really thinking, whether I should leave my current job and totally immerse myself  in the spiritual and physical world of my mystic store.
 
I am thankful more than I can express I can be of help to the man I love at this difficult junction in his life. I am thankful for the time we can spend together, something we so missed in the passed few months since we opened the store. I am thankful for every tender moment, for strings woven from heart to heart. I am thankful for every moment of my life.

For every door that closes...

Day 1077 - the first day of the new year started with a funeral. I sure hope it will be the lady one this year for our family. But as the saying goes for every door that closes a window might be opening. And this is how we should look at it. What are the new things that might open, what can we let go and burry behind us, how can our lives be better for it? A death is always an oportunity for a new beginning? What can we do differently this year so at the end we will be so much happier and more fulfilled. How symbolic to start a new year with a funeral...
 
I am thankful this ordeal is finally over; it took so much out if my partner, much more than we cared to admit. I am thankful he is free now to choose his path without the constant consideration of how it will effect or whether he will be called in the middle. I am thankful the grieving and the healing process can begin.