Visiting My Parents

Day 338 – My son stayed with friends yesterday night and so today I picked him up en route and then we drove all the way to my parents’ home, about 350 km from where I live. My daughter came here from base and we are going to spend the weekend here; it will give them a chance to see my son after few years they didn’t see him. They in a very small town live in the middle of the desert and the surrounding is just amazing; so, we are planning to go hiking there tomorrow for a few hours. But today we didn’t do much it was a day in transition. Work in the morning for a few hours and then just driving, all the way here. But it was nice to see my daughter after a week in the army, she didn’t see her brother yet and so it was a very special meeting and same for my parents. It makes me so happy to have a little family reunion like that, who knows when the next time will be.
  
I am thankful for a chance to have both my kids with me for a weekend, they are 25 and 19 now, and live on both sides of this wide oceans, it is something I really cherish; I am thankful for the opportunity I had to do it here at my parents and by that make sure they will see him too. I am thankful for a very long day that started at 4:30 this morning and hopefully will end in a few minutes. I am thankful for a day that was almost uneventful and yet it was and we are all here together. A really wonderful day and I am thankful for that.
  

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Day 337 – I wanted to spend the day with my son, but I had to do some work as well so I woke up at 4am this morning and by 5 am I was already at work. This left us most of the day to be together. We drove to the archeological site of the ancient city of Megido, where the Armageddon battle will take place according to tradition. After being there for about an hour my son, rightfully commented that he does not want to do the tourist stuff. He wants to do what the locals do, a very good point; we have to behave like the locals if we want to feel the place, go to the local hang-out places and hike instead of going to tourists’ attractions. So tonight he went with a friend to have some fun in the biggest city in our country and tomorrow we will do some different kind of things, I want him to feel the local beat and I am thankful to him for making that comment so I can tweak things a beat to make it better experience for him.
From there we drove to meet my brother, his two daughters and two grandsons. I didn’t see them in a very long time, the little baby is our months old and I didn’t see him yet, means I didn’t see them in more than four months; no excuses, it is just not right and I will make sure it will not happened again. I live less than two hours from them, really no excuse. It is too easy to be absorbed in my own little world and forget others, but it is not right and will not happen again. It was much fun to see them and the older boy is almost two years old and sooo cute; I had much fun playing with him. It was also a very interesting discussion with my brother who is rung a charity organization and helps 500 needy families on a regular basis for years. He has no money and yet he takes care of others, he is an amazing man and I just wish I can do even a little of what he does. Yet another mirror through which to look at myself and realize some changes are in order.
      I am thankful for another day with my son, I don’t have many of those anymore and I appreciate every moment we spend together. I am thankful for the chance I am getting to make some serious changes to the way I think and see things. I am thankful a blind was removed and I can see more clearly now. I am thankful to my brother for all the goodness of his heart.   

Examine Our Prisms

Day 336 – I took the day off today and I spent the whole day with my son. We drove to Nazareth and saw the Annunciation church; we even went into this very beautiful and modern church. It was a little unsettling to see all the signs around this holly church quoting passes from the Quran such as “and whoever seeks religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” I have to admit, I didn’t like this open display of disagreement, I would even go one step further and say verbal violence. The city’s population used to be almost entirely Christians, but at present they are only 31% of the population, and signs as the one I just quoted are highlighting this shift. it made me a little sad to see that. Later we drove through the very narrow allies of Kafr Kanna looking for a pretty mosque we saw from the road; it’s funny how such a big thing can “get lost” when we wondered through the village’s roads, but after almost an hour we found it.  We ended the day in Tiberias, the city on the edge of the sea of Galilee; we wondered the city and visited some archeological sites, in short a very productive day. But the most important part of the day was spending time with my son, getting into some very philosophical discussions about tolerance, prejudice and such, being challenged to examine our prisms through which we see the world; A very eye opening day, in more ways than we care to admit.
I am thankful for such a wonderful day; for all the sites we visited, for all the wonderful conversations we had throughout the day. I am so very tired after such a long day that all I can think about is my bed. I am thankful for that and I am leaving my desk right now, for a good night sleep.

A Very Interesting Class

Day 335 – Every Monday I am taking a class for the tour guide course. We cover so many different subjects and it is fascinating for me. We cover religions as one of these subjects. We already covered Christianity and Judaism and this week we started with Islam. I am ashamed to admit how little I knew about it, how little I know now. I learned about the beginning of Islam what was there in the Arabian Peninsula 1000 years before Mohamed was born. I learned about the things that had a major influence on the development of that the Islam at the beginning. I learned how little I know and how much I made assumptions about things I knew almost nothing about. I also realized how important it is to learn Arabic; if I want to understand it I have to understand the language since a language is the gateway and the key to society. It is a very intriguing class and the teacher was challenging us all the time, making us realize how little we know about our neighbors how little we understand. Some people where upset with the teacher and his bold methods, but I found it very interesting and inspiring. It made me realize that if we ever want to understand the people living among us, if we ever want to find a way to live together in harmony and with respect to each other we’ll have to understand their culture and their way of thinking. It is disrespectful and naïve to believe otherwise.

   

I am thankful for a very inspiring class today. I am thankful the teacher opened my eyes to my ignorance and motivated me to seek some knowledge beyond the scope of class; I already ordered a book he recommended and I will check about learning Arabic. I am also thankful to my son, who just took a whole semester in college about that, for a very interesting talk we had about it tonight; I love these hour long discussion we do and I really missed it. I am thankful for his visit.     

My Son is Here for a Visit

Day 334 –   In less than a month I got to see all my family. First it was my daughter her fiancé and their little baby, my granddaughter, and today my son arrived for a two weeks visit. It’s been half a year since we last met – way too long and it sure will not happen again. It was a combination of several things that caused this long lag but there is no excuse for that. Since he came here alone, and for a longer visit, it will be easier for him to travel and see family and friends but also to have time to travel around and get to enjoy the beauty of our country; to take a hike, see some of the party life scenes (his younger sister and cousins will be responsible for that part). It sure will be a very different trip than he did before we knew a little more about the local scenery, now that we live here.
It was so wonderful to see him after such a long time; he was very tired of course after a very long flight, but managed to stay awake until after 11pm which promises a regular day tomorrow with not much of a jet lag. And tomorrow I will go in the morning for a few hours to work and then we will take a trip to some interesting archeological site not far from where we live, the site of the Armageddon battle will take place according to tradition. On our way home we had some serious discussion about the role of nationalism in creating rifts between people, the definition of us vs. they; the stories, traditions created for this bonding between people and their homeland. We both like this kind of discussions and can go back and forth for hours, and I have to admit, I missed it. It is so wonderful to have him here and the fact he'll be staying with me for at least part of his visit, will make such a big difference. I am very tired and my writing is not very coherent but I’ll try to write earlier and better tomorrow.

  

I am so thankful for my son’s visit; he chose to spend almost all his winter vacation from college here with us and I am very thankful for that. I am so thankful for the opportunity to spend some quality time with him and to get to know him again, half a year later. I am very thankful to my ex-husband for enabling this visit. It is so wonderful to have my son here and I am thankful beyond words for that. 

Making Some Progress With My Book

Day 333 –   I had a few hours this weekend that my daughter met with a friend. And so I decided it is a perfect opportunity to get back to my book. I am very happy to report that I just finished the first pass on it, reading it from beginning to end. I am going to incorporate all the changes I made so far, add another chapter that I wrote and two more that I am still planning to write and then have a second pass at reading it. I find this process very interesting, as well as challenging at times. I am very happy I finished reading the book for the first time; it is a very important milestone. Now starts the endless process of editing as well as adding new material that I feel will makes the book clear and better. It was only few months ago I decided to put my writing into a book that I want to publish and now I am already doing first review. It is very scary of course to put myself out, but also very exciting. My deadline for finalizing and submitting the book is two months from now and the way it looks, I will be able to meet it; and then I’ll have to cross my fingers and wait for a positive answer from a publisher that wants to publish it. I have to admit, as scary as it is I am really looking forward to it all. I have this idea of writing books for a very long time and I am so happy I finally took steps to make this dream a reality. Whether it will be published or not, successful or not is a whole different issue; I am taking the steps to make a dream come true and this is a huge thing and I am very happy about that.

  

I am thankful to be at this stage of first reviews of my work. I am thankful for the idea to publish. I am thankful to all the people who encouraged me to do so; to all the friends who helped me improve my writing. I am so thankful to the friends who helped me be strong enough to be able to deliver my brainchild and submit it for criticism, to dare wishing to put it in the limelight and not buckle away. I am thankful for such a challenging experience.  

   

A Day to Remember

Day 332 –   knowing it is going to be a difficult day for my daughter and to celebrate her miraculous second chance at life I decided to do something very special; a pampering day at the spa. I kept it a secret until we parked in front of it and only then she realized what the plan is. We started with a wonderful breakfast, yes it was  2pm, but in our book it is never too late for a good breakfast, and then we continued with the spa fun. It goes like that: hot tub, wet sauna, dry sauna – repeat. To end it all we had an hour of a wonderful massages, another round of sauna and we called it a day. Now we are back home and we still have in our plan to go to the movie and watch MI-4 in the VIP theater with food and drinks; a packed day full of fun. I told her that I feel it is celebration of life. We are a year later and we are here to remember and tell the story. This is the one time I don’t even want to think about parallel worlds; I never want to know how that world, where she didn’t make it through the night looks like. I told her I am not sure I am even there in that world; I don’t know that my heart would not break of sorrow over there. But thankfully we are here with battle scars to show for it, but we are here in this world alive and laughing, celebrating the one year anniversary to the most trying day of her life. We shed some tears, but mostly we are so grateful to be here. Here in this world, here in this wonderful country of ours, here just the two of us – just as it should on this special day.

  

I am thankful for a wonderful day; for some heart to heart talk and for some new realizations we both came to. I am thankful and will always be for all the forces that had to align for us to be able to be happy today. I am thankful for the wonders of life, of our lives.   

The First Anniversary to My Daughetr's Shock

Day 331 –   exactly a year ago my daughter was in the middle of her hair dye ordeal. We just landed few hours before, and she was already checked out of the first hospital and on the way to the second, the one where I work. They kept her overnight just to make sure that the allergic reaction is under control and not escalating. We thought it’s the end of the story – little did we know, it only just begun. The next evening she ended up in yet another hospital, now with full blown allergic reaction falling rapidly in to an anaphylactic shock. The scary thing is to see it escalating and not being able to stop what’s coming next. It passed the point of no return. Only the miracles of modern medicine and the fact that it all happened in the hospital are to thank for the fact that she is still with us today. Even in the hospital it was scary, she was definitely the most serious patient in the ER and everyone was around her, fighting for her life, as she collapsed again an hour later. The nightmare is still fresh in our mind and it still has the power to bring so much pain and tears, to wish it never happened. But we are here a year later and she is in such a wonderful place in her life, that it also brings something very positive and optimistic with it. She not only survived, she is thriving and it is still only the dawn of her life. She will be here to tell this story and to commemorate the date so many times. It is here to tell a story of hope instead of telling a story of loss. I know it is too painful for her to look at it this way, but I am celebrating the fact that a year later I can hug my daughter when she cries remembering the horrific events of that night, that she is here among us.

      

I am thankful for the fact we are here together today to commemorate that event; I hope it will always be a guide but never a hindrance. I am thankful beyond words to everyone who took part in making sure she will survive that night, for all the friends who came to the hospital to be with us. My heart is full of thanks for her life; and this is what I celebrate this weekend.

Women's Pack

Day 330 –   I came home late today since I went shopping after work. After I took my dog for a long walk in the park and in the neighborhood I talked to a friend of mine and convinced her that although it was 9:15pm already it’s really not too late to go out for coffee and so I picked her up and we went to a local coffee joint. We stayed there for almost two hours and it was so nice. In the center of a city I expect places to stay open late, but this one is a gem, known only to the local crowd and yet it was packed until all evening. I like it very much that 10 pm is an hour when people are still going out even in the middle of the week. It always bothered me on there, where I used to live that at 10pm almost everything is closed, I like it that I am not the only one still looking for fun at these “ungodly” hours. I had a lot of fun with my friend; we met a year ago in a women’s group and I still remember how sad she was over her divorce and how much she cried back then. And now, a year later, she laughs all the time and she is so happy to be on her own and do whatever she feels like. We sure had a lot to talk about! It makes me so happy to see how we all settling into our single women’s life and we enjoyed it very much. The problem is that we might get so used to it that we’ll have a problem giving it us. It is very interesting to watch the process we all went through of letting go of the past and embrace our present and our future; we all become strong and independent, finally living life to the fullest. We already started talking about few trips I’ll organize when I am done with my class and we’ll find a group of women to join us. That can be so much fun!!

  

I am thankful for a very good day. I bought some good presents to a friend; I had some meaningful phone calls, something that doesn’t happen every day. I had a very late coffee with my friend and a very lovely talk. I am thankful for the inspiration we all take from each other, for the support we give and get each one in her hour of need. Women’s pack – such an important support group.

Planning a Trip to Romania

Day 329 –   Part of the requirements for the Tour Guides course I am taking is to create a trip to a country of our choice. This is a huge project – at least 80 pages long and it includes facts and figures about the country, history, geography, economy, religions, art, culture, and anything else we can think of. It also includes a detailed plan for a two weeks trip to that country. I figured I better start working on it since it is a lot of work and some info I can collect already, even before we get the official explanations. Since I am planning to take my dad to Romania this spring, I figured I can use this opportunity to prepare the trip. So today I started collecting the data and it will be something I will work on for the next few months. I am very excited about this since I love doing research about new places and plan trips and this class teaches me to take trip preparations to a new level.  I am also very happy about it since I wanted to take my dad on this trip for a very long time, and now it starts materializing. It is a very emotional trip for him – going back to his birth place and all, so I will try to prepare some very special things for him. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I want to make sure it will be a great experience for him.

  

I am very thankful I get the opportunity to do something so special for my dad. I am thankful I have enough time to prepare for this trip and I am learning how to do some serious trip planning. I am thankful for the idea to start working on this project; I will report about my progress every so often. And, as a side note, I’ll be very thankful if you won’t tell my dad about my plans just yet, since I want it to be a surprise.

A Very Inspirational Lunch

Day 328 –   I had lunch today with one of my co-workers. Usually we go in a group, so there is no place for personal conversations but today it was just the two of us and we had a very eye opening talk. Her husband died a little more than a year ago after 3 years of marriage and I asked her how she is dealing with it. She talked about her unwavering belief in God and his presence in her life; about her deep conviction that He knows what’s best for them and that she knows she’ll meet her husband again; that she knows he is in a better place right now. I looked at her and it made me realize what religion is doing for people. It gives purpose and meaning and solace. It helps you accept the reality even when it’s very difficult, by simply believing with all your heart that there is someone who knows the Why even when we don’t know, when we are losing our way.  It made me envy for this deep conviction and the peace of mind it brings with it. I was thinking to myself, here I have this woman who lost her husband so recently and she is so strong and positive, she has no anger in her. I am not sure I will be able to do that. It was a very eye opening discussion. It puts things in perspective for me, as  I am still so sad about the break-up, as much as I want to tell myself I don’t, and here I see real loss and I know I am lucky. The man I love might not want to share his life with me, but he is alive and well, so I am sad about losing my dream but not about losing him.

  

I am thankful to my friend for this inspiring talk; it made me look at being religious in a whole new way; I am not sure I can do that but I admire those who can. I am thankful that after few months we work together I finally got to have a personal talk and I found a very interesting woman that I would love to get to know more. I am thankful for this inspiring discussion; for the new perspective I gained on my life. I am thankful my beloved is well, even if he is not with me.

A Lazy Evening

Day 327 –   I didn’t feel like doing anything productive this evening. So I just worked on some puzzles and card games for a couple of hours. The funny thing is that I feel guilty about that, and I really don’t see any reason why. I worked for 9 hours today and did it well, I took my dog for her daily walks in the morning and at night, I talked to two friends on the phone, I talked to my son and my youngest daughter; and I searched for more than an hour for volunteering opportunities and I think I have some ideas that I will check tomorrow during business hours; so it was a very productive day. I just didn’t feel like going to the gym or doing anything that requires too much thinking. I think there is a merit to that as well, especially considering the fact that tomorrow is a very long day.  Most people when they are tired just flop in front of the TV, I don’t have a TV so this is my version of a lazy evening, the first one in a year and a half.

 I am thankful I got to spend a relaxed evening at home playing some mindless games. I am thankful for an evening of fun. I am thankful I can be kind enough to myself and understand that I too deserve some down time. I am thankful that after a year and a half I found some time for that.

A Very Relaxed Weekend

Day 326 –   I am very happy to report that it is now 36 hours later and I still feel great. I had no pain at all, not any discomfort and I didn’t have to take any medications, other than antibiotics, so I am very happy about that. It seems I really found myself a dentist.

The good thing about going through a surgery is that you have a license to take it easy for a day or two. And this is exactly what I did today.  I woke up today at 10:30 and by the time I left home to take my dog for a long walk it was past 12. This is such a treat in my usually very busy schedule. Something so simple as having a nap in the middle of the day or get up late feel like something so special for me. I have to take notice and do that more often. I don’t have to wait for a surgery to treat myself to something special, to pamper myself. Later I met my ex mother-in-law for lunch (yes, lunch a day after dental surgery!!) and I went with my daughter to meet dear friends we met “back home” and now they also moved back here few months ago. In short it was a relaxed and lovely day and I am very happy to have such a weekend. I know I will be more refreshed and ready for a new week.

  

I am so thankful my surgery went so well; that I was up and running today with no pain and no limitations at all. I am thankful for a very relaxed day I got to enjoy with family and friends. And as always, I am thankful to my daughter for coming here and spending the night with me, it is always so wonderful when she is here.

I Found a Good Dentist

Day 325 –   I had to go through a complex dental work. I found out about that in June when I went to visit after my granddaughter was born. I saw my dentist there but he told me he cannot do it since it has to be done in stages and I don’t live there anymore. He did some temporary fixing and advised me to find a good dentist here, so I can take care of the problem. It took me almost half a year to settle on a dentist I am ready to trust, and I was ready to drive more than an hour away to see him. So today, I finally started the process. He did the surgery, and I am very happy to report that he did a very good job, at least so far. I was not sure how I’ll be after the procedure and in how much pain, so I asked my daughter to come with me so she can drive on the way back; which she did, but I was really fine. Even now, more than 12 hours later I have no pain and no bleeding, so I think it went very well. Some people don’t take their dentist selection very seriously, but I do. I think it is one of the most important people in my professional caregivers circle and I am very happy I found a dentist I can trust. Until now, for a year and a half since I moved here I did everything back “home”, during my short visits, so driving an hour away is really nothing. When I came back home I decided it is very therapeutic to have a mid-day nap – a very rare treat; I had a very relaxed evening working on some cross-word and Sudoku puzzles – doctor’s order to take it easy, and now I am going to bed with a book. A perfect evening, what can I say…  and I just love that!!

  

I am thankful I found a good dentist and I finally started to take care of the problem. Dental work in not something I want to delay, it just gets worse and it can have very unpleasant consequences. I am very thankful to my friends for a great recommendation. I am so thankful to my daughter that came with me today and drove me back; I know she has so little free time, now that she is in the army, and I really appreciate her willingness to be with me and help. I am very thankful I felt good enough so I could enjoy a wonderful evening.  

The Machine Gun Preacher

Day 324 –   We just came back from a movie – “The Machine Gun Preacher” about what’s going on in Sudan and one man’s war there. It is a very heavy movie; I heard the stuff and read about it but to see the children and the suffering there is a very different thing. And yes, it is a movie but it tells a very real story of pointless and endless killings, of destruction and cruelty beyond imagination. It tells a story of what a group of people in the name of a cause are doing to innocent children, women and men. It is appalling and disturbing beyond words and we are sitting here away from it all and do nothing. I don’t really know what I can do, I don’t want to go there, not on the humanitarian aids groups and not as this man that is fighting one man’s war. But I want to help somehow. There is so much poverty and pain and suffering in this world I have to find a way to get more involved in it. We had on our way back a long discussion if what this guy is doing is OK? Is he there for the children or is he there for the fight. It is probably a combination of both but does it really takes away from what he does, from all the children he saves and protects, feeds and clothes? He does more for these children than anyone I know.

   

I am thankful I watched this movie. I usually avoid these kind of movies, they are too disturbing for me, but I am thankful I watched this one. It is a story worth telling and I am thankful I watched it and now I have something to think about – how can I contribute, how do I get involved.  A subject I will give a lot of thinking about in the next few days and I am very thankful for that.