Visiting my loved ones

Day 1150 - I was visiting my father, mother and daughter today. He is still in rehab more almost two months after arriving there. And my mom is running back and forth every week. Visiting him almost every day and traveling to their home once a week. Not easy, especially not at her age. My daughter is not doing so great either so it was not an easy day. But I think it ended better than it started and this is good enough right now. A lot of work to do, a lot of mending; but a good place to start.

I am thankful for a beautiful day after a week of rain, especially for my trip and our outing. I am thankful I got to see all my loved ones. I am thankful for a long talk with my daughter that started badly but I think got better later. I am thankful for a very important visit.

So very sad

Day 1149 - the few things in my life that are not working the way I think they should are making everything looking bleak and sad. I am not sure how to go about it; how can I make things better. I am so sad it came to this point. That I was not smarter and able to stop the deterioration. But this is where we are. I am sad, so very sad. I guess to be alive means feeling all the array, not only happy but also sad and worried. I am alive for sure and for now this will suffice.

I am thankful I saw this day coming to its end, in more ways than one. I am thankful I am healthy and have food and shelter for the night. I am thankful his day is finally coming to its end.

Late night rains

Day 1148 - Another late networking night arriving home close to midnight with an early start tomorrow since it's Friday, our mall day. It was about 20 minutes north of the city thus extra 20 minutes driving and in this extra time it took us to get home there was such a heavy rain that I was not sure at times if we can even make it to the next exit safely. I don't remember such heavy rains in a very long time and it sure not very pleasant to drive in such conditions. But when it catches you on your way home and it's almost midnight there isn't much you can do but keep driving and hope it will end soon. But all well if it ends well and it did. Now I am warm and dry at home and ready to call it a day; appreciating the fact that I have a place to sleep tonight, that I am dry and warm and with no worries other than the late hour.
 
I am thankful for a very interesting evening. I am thankful for making it home safe and dry. I am thankful for food and shelter and warmth. I am thankful for all the gifts in my life.

House hunting, again

Day 1147 - after weeks of draught a winter storm appeared here and scattered raid and fallen tree limbs. Not listening to the weather forecast means I had no rain coat but at least I has my fleece. Luckily this morning when we were looking for apartments it was still clear. We thought we found a really good apartment. A very quiet street and the flat itself overlooking a natural forest but alas the owner gave us such bad vibes that after much discussion we decided not to pursue it. It's not easy to live in rented places and being subjected to the whims of others. Its not easy to look every year for a new place, pack unpack, clean thoroughly another place just to find myself in the same spot a year later... I guess I will have to buy my own place. It might be small but it will give me the freedom I am missing now to do with it as I please. But for now I have to concentrate on the mission in hand and to find a reasonable place to rent.

I am thankful I found this place; even if it didn't work out now we know what we are looking for. I am thankful to be in this position of looking for a place here in the city again. I am thankful we were in agreement regarding this place. I am thankful to the universe for all the gift it throughs at my feet. I never take. Any of that for granted

No glasses day

Day 1146 - my reading glasses fell off my bag today and I realized I'm missing them only when we were already in the store. So I had a most trying day. I can't really do much without my glasses, I can barely read. A very interesting understanding of how crucial they are for me, how dependent I am on them. I tried to read but it's all blurry, I could not decipher numbers and so I didn't do any of my work, worried I'll put nonsense into our system. Now I am back home, so happy I can read once again. As a result if today I decided to leave one pair of glasses at work, just in case something like that ever happens again.

I am thankful I did not lose my glasses just dropped them at work. I am thankful to have my glasses again, to be able to read once again. I am thankful for this amazing invention we all take for granted; it sure wasn't today for me.  

A restful evening

Day 1145 - The first day in a long time that I was not in a hurry, no need to pack. I have to admit it feels good. I know its a temporary relief and in a month I'll be in it all over again but for now I am on a mini break. Tomorrow I'll have to start looking into houses again and it will be over, but today is a quiet day. I could read a book, which I didn't do in a long time or so many other things but I chose to enjoy an evening with my partner. Sadly, we don't get to do that much lately. A chilly evening, raining outside and we were home warm and cozy enjoying the heater (no fireplace here). How wonderful it can be simply to rest for a while and be in the moment, nothing to worry about, nothing to work toward. Just be in the moment. Nothing before or after; just be present in my life for a brief moment in time.
 
I am thankful for this little pause in my hectic life. I am thankful for time spent with a loved one. I am thankful I can go to sleep and not have my whole body screaming for some rest after a long evening of packing. I am thankful I am not going to see any of my boxes for a month now.

Starting the long way back

Day 1144 - so good to have it all behind me, to know that step one in my way back to civilization is over. I packed my house and moved out. And now i am settling into my new and temporary housing arrangement and hopefully tomorrow I'll start looking for a new place to live. I hope this time to make a better and smarter choice. Since it can make the difference in the world. I am tired, very tired. The long hours and the I intensive physical labor are taking their toll. And so my goal is to hit the sac before midnight. I have to admit it's such a relief to have it all behind me. To know it's over. I can't wait to be back in the city, to go out at night or on Saturday for coffee; to go to the beach... Sometimes you have to lose something to learn to appreciate it. At least this was the case here. I was so sure about moving away, but now I know better. So it was a very important lesson.

I am thankful for being on my way back. I am thankful for lessons learned; for changing of priorities. I am thankful to be again on the brink of new life.

Done packing

Day 1143 - it's past 2 am so it will be a very short entry. I just want to report that we are done. It was a very long day but we did it!!!
I am thankful the house is packed and ready to be moved. I am thankful to my partner for all his help and hard work. I am thankful I can go to sleep now for a few hours.

1142 - Friday night packing and slowly

Stressed

Day 1141 - another packing night. I have only two days left and so much to do. And tomorrow is a work day so I'll start packing only in the evening. And I am getting less sure the space I have will be enough. Too much in my plate at the moment. It's after two an and I have to wake up in four hours, so this will be a very short entry.
I am thankful for the progress I made tonight. I am thankful I can go to sleep right now.

Getting rid of stuff

Day 1140 - I am going to call it a night even though its not even midnight for another twenty minutes. This back to back networking events are taking their toll and let's not forget some packing as well. The truth is I through away more than I packed and I made a resolution once again of not buying but the absolute necessity. I don't like this feeling of waste, of throughing away things I shouldn't have bought in the first place. I through away things I carry with me for years just because I couldn't let go. So once again the sword of wisdoms is getting the upper hand and u get rid of some more. Clearing my spiritual path.

I am thankful I find in me the courage to through away parts of my past. I am thankful I am a little lighter because of that. I am thankful to be in bed ten minutes before midnight, may I'll even sleep before. Good night.

No packing day

Day 1139 - our networking evening means a day with no packing. We only made it home by 11 pm and we have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning and we still had to eat since we were starving... In short a "no packing" day. And tomorrow night we'll probably be too tired after this back to back meetings. Oh well, I guess the three days after will be very hectic.

I am thankful for a very good meeting were I think things start to move there in our favor. I am thankful I had a day off. I am thankful for a good night sleep.

Day 1138 -

A spoon full of sugar

Day 1137 - my partner helped me packing today and the combined effort was very successful. One room is fully packed and we started making strides in the second one. Hopefully tomorrow night we will be able to finish that room and be left with the kitchen and the storage area. I am so not excited about the packing. Only the fact that it means we are done here makes the medicine go down. I can think of so many things I'd rather do in the few free hours I have. But this is the situation I'm in right now and the only thing I can do is pack, so packing I do

I am thankful for a spoon full of sugar, a promise that the adventure is behind me in a week. I am thankful to my partner for all his help. I am thankful for the progress we made.

Packing

Day 1136 - packing again. I packed the first four boxes, first of many. And through away about two more of book no longer needed or wanted as a travel companion. When I know I'll have to pack them again next year I think twice before putting them in the "to keep" box. I'm so happy to leave this place, yet so not thrilled about packing again, looking for apartment again, moving, unpacking... How I wish for some serious magic powers right now. But I'll do it and go through it and be fine. This is the payday for that rush decision to move last year.

I am thankful my days in this house are numbered. I am thankful to move back to the city. I am thankful for lesson learned and hopefully never to be repeated.