Here we go again

Day 1135 - for months I am complaining about the place I chose as my home and I told my landlord I want to break the contract. It took several months but finally the day had come - it was rented yesterday and the new tenants will move in way before I will be able to find a new place and so we agreed that I will keep my stuff in one of the rooms until the end of April. And so happy about the news but with very little time to pack my house and even less time to do that, I am starting a new chapter, once again. It's not easy to move every year; to pack and unpack; to arrange a house and put it back into boxes, but I am so happy to leave this place that I willingly doing all that. Still, I dread the work ahead. Moving, moving, moving... will I ever be able to buy a house of my own and stop that? I sure hope the answer is yes.
 
I am thankful I can leave this house in 10 days. I am thankful I have a place to move into until I'll find a new apartment. I am thankful the wheels are in motion once again.

Looking back at the path behind me

Day 1134 - My brother is going through a rough divorce right now and to make things worse he lives thus have no family or friends to support him. So every day, or almost every day, on my way from work to the store I call him and we talk for about half an hour. Today he asked how I met my partner and a whole discussion went around the subject of dating sites and from there it was not a long stretch to talk about personal growth from a crisis. He cannot see it yet, being in the eye of the storm, but for me I know it was and luckily I was present enough to be aware of it in real time. I was thinking of the  road I walked and it makes me so happy; I look at him and it remaines me of that period. I am so happy I found the strength to take that road and I know that in a few years my brother will feel the same. He is still hurt and cannot see that but it will come. Sometimes I look back and I can't believe that it's the same woman my old self and my new one. I wrote about it as it unfolded but looking back its so much bigger. And fuller.
 
I am thankful for the opportunity to be my brother keeper. I am thankful

A very long night

Day 1133 - I had to pull a very long night in an attempt to finish some things for work but to no avail. I don't have enough time lately to do my day job and it sure shows. I am not used to slack and it makes me feel bad, but there is only so much I can do in a day and my business has a priority over anything else right now. I need few more days to finish what I was trying to finish tonight. So there's no point in staying any longer, it's futile anyway and I'll just be dead tired tomorrow. So at 2:20 am I am calling it a night, finish my blog and crawl to bed. Even though I did not finish, I made a big progress tonight and I did my best; and that's what counts.
 
I am thankful this very long day is coming to it's end. I am thankful I can get up in a normal time tomorrow, so I have about 5 hours of sleep. I am thankful this kind of a blitz is not my routine.

Day 1132 - We kept the store closed today and went to a big show to look for new items for the store. It's a hard decision to do that but we felt it's important enough to do that. And it was. we found some interesting items, we met few new suppliers and made some important contacts. It was a full day mission and we made it home around 9 pm' late but with a

Going out in the middle of the week

Day 1131 - We went to dinner after work to celebrate my partner's b-day. We left work very late thus made it home two minutes before midnight. A very long day indeed. But it was fun and nice to do something different. It is the second b-day we celebrate together with many more to come, I hope. But the late hour in which we started plus the almost hour of driving time kind of dampening the party.
Still I am thankful we took the time, I am thankful we could celebrate happily and together. And I am thankful we are leaving a little later tomorrow so we'll have some time to sleep.

Day 1130 -

Three generations

Day 1129 - we made a nice breakfast this morning and then drove to to visit my dad. It's a month since his injury and he is far from getting back home. And it's very difficult for him and even more so for my mom who live now for a month away from home and can do nothing to make him better so they can go back home. It's sure not easy getting old and trying to support each other in this stage is so difficult. So I was happy I was there with my daughter as she brings lightness and warmth into the situation. We were sitting there all of us and it was so nice, so very special, three generations under one roof. I saw her basking in the warmth and love of her grandparents and knew she had these moments as a prize for her decision to move back here. This is something we took away from our children when we moved abroad; they never really had grandparents, or cousins and my youngest daughter is now getting a little of that special feeling even if very late in the game when they are so old and frail. Better now than never.
 
I am thankful for a day we spent with our family. I am thankful for love and caring. I am thankful for the happiness this move brought into my daughter's and into my own life. I am thankful we still have time to enjoy that. I am thankful for a wonderful weekend.

Quality time

Day 1128 - I was a little better today, but still not at my best. But, I was able to stay at the store while my partner opened our booth at the mall and this is good enough. As the day progressed I got stronger, and by now I am not 100% yet but getting closer. Coming back home, my daughter was already here - she came to spend the weekend with me. It was nice having her here even if I am not at my best and she is not either. It was a nice evening and tomorrow we still have some quality time. I love weekends like that. Relaxed and not too much to worry about, having some time just the two of us. I'm dead tired and its past 1am by now, so I am going to retire for the night. I just want to thank her for coming here, for making a birthday cake for me, for being in my life. I'm so thankful for that.

I am sick

On day 1127, Thursday, I was very sick. To the point that I had to leave work and I was even too sick to drive. So I slept in the store, on the carpet in the kitchenette, until closing time and we could go home. I was too sick to remember my blog, or have the strength to write. So here I am, today writing a little entry for a night I didn't blog.
I am thankful I was able to drive all the way from work to the store, I wasn't sure at times I can make it. I am thankful to my partner for taking care of me when I really needed that. I am thankful I had a warm house and a soft bed to crawl into in a day like that.

Networking blitz

Day 1126 - Wednesday night. I am exhausted after back to back networking events, yesterday night and this morning. I cannot wait to move back to the city; it will save us at least two hours a day on the road and on this specific junction it is the difference between a normal night and an extremely short one. and in the physical state I am right now I sure prefer the longer one. But as much as I complain, I would not miss it, so we pay we tiredness the night after but we keep doing it diligently week after week. And today I gave the longer talk about our business, I sure hope it will move some people into action, to help us. I will write no longer - too tired to continue.

I am thankful this long day reached its end and we can retire now. I am thankful for another day, another opportunity to make things right, to push forward, to get better. I am thankful for an evening of late celebration of my birthday, as tired as we were. I don't take any of these gestures for granted.

Another birthday

Day 1125 - It's my birthday today but I'm too busy tonight to celebrate it. We had our networking group and we came home about an hour ago, or even less and in short five hours we have to be up again for our morning networking group and since I am presenting the store tomorrow I have to be there and be good. So my special day so to speak have passed unnoticed but I am too old to think much of that. It's just another day and ill wait for the weekend to celebrate with my daughter and my parents.
I am thankful to go to sleep now at the end of a very long day.

A heart full of thanks

Day 1124 - A nasty fight with my partner on the night of my birthday. How sad. How befitting. An important reminder to the boundaries we have to set and the things we agree and don't agree to accept. A night of quite meditation and time for self. I like that. I sure needed that. I don't feel like writing tonight. But I am thankful, like every night for being here on this wonderful planet one more day; for having the privilege of seeing this day coming to its end and retiring for the night with a strong belief I'll be here tomorrow to greet the day. I am thankful for food I have, for shelter and warmth; for all the love in my life. I am so thankful I am here tonight and having the faculties to be thankful for all that. I sure don't take any of that for granted.  

A powerful prayer

Day 1123 - I am a spiritual woman but not a religious one. Somehow I don't find myself in the traditional prayers with the prescribed verses and behavior. So I rarely go to a synagogue and even when I do that, I feel out of place. But a while back my partner, who feels the same about religions, showed me a YouTube video of a short Jewish prayer called "Ana Bechoach" that a new music was written to it while I lived abroad and it caught like fire. People really liked it. He told me it did wonders for him when he was in a dire situation. I have to admit, it didn't do it for me the first time around. But two weeks ago we got the prayer hand written on a beautiful tile decorated in gold and I knew right away it is a sign. So yesterday I search for the hymn and found it. After listening to it several times it grows on you. the music has a very meditative quality to it and so it just penetrated into ones soul. And so I listened to it today many times and with every round it goes a little deeper. One suppose to read it before going to bed, one phrase every day. And I made up my mind to do just that and unlock the gates of my personal limitations and connect to the infinity, to the full potential, the creation. And here I am, a very non-religious woman reciting this holly prayer on a Sunday night and I hope every night from now on. 
  
I am thankful for this very special prayer that touched my soul. I am thankful for possibilities and promises. I am thankful for the wholeness that in all of us. I am thankful for this amazing gift.
       

Rainy day is a good day

Day 1122 - a rainy day changed our plans for today and instead of driving to the city to hang posters we stayed home, ate healthy food and rested. All much needed activities for the over-worked people we are right now. It sure is a good thing and at the end of the day I feel so much better; ready to face the world and another week of hard work. I hope the good energy will stay with us for a while and won't disappear too fast. I hope this coming week will be as good as the last one both on the personal front and on the store front.

I am thankful for a much needed rest and some quality time. I am thankful for a wonderful weekend.

Valentine's Day

Day 1121 - Valentine's Day on a Friday  is good for business and for us. I held our booth at the mall while my partner was on the store front. Both places had good traffic and good sales and it made me very happy. And the best part is that it's Friday so it's a short day. We were home before sunset. I don't remember when it happened last time. A good ending to a very long and busy week. Tomorrow we are planning to be back for poster hanging around town, weather permitting of course since they talk about rains and it sure changed much since the morning. Well, if not the. We'll have more time to rest. I sure can use that.
I am thankful for a very good day at the store. I am thankful for a wonderful week. I am thankful for the rest ahead. And of course I am so thankful I have someone I love so much today and every day, it brings so much into my days.

A good day at the store and not so much at work

Day 1120 - frictions at work of course as the weight moves more towards the store and my behavior shows where my heart is. I love being there and it's difficult for me to leave. I have to admit I didn't think this is how it will look in three month. But it does and I am very happy about it. Business is picking up, both in volume and in trust. It's almost midnight and as usual, I am very tired, but it also marks a rewarding day at the store and this is the important thing. It takes me for ever to write, I am falling asleep as I type, but I had a good day, the store had a good day so all is good.
Good night. I have to get ready for another short night and another long day tomorrow, let it be, I am ready.

Tired, so very tired

Day 1119 - a very long day is coming to its end. But as long as it is I am thankful for every moment of that day. I am thankful for every moment I was present and hope for more of that tomorrow. I am thankful for a very good phone call with my daughter. For a very interesting morning networking group. I am thankful my dad is doing so much better, and my mom is holding in. I am thankful for the man who is such an important part of every day. I am thankful that I can go to sleep at the end of the day in my warm bed and with a fixed air condition, after they replaced the engine, and  there you go, I have a warm house once again.

Another short night

Day 1118 - strategical planning way into the night. A lot of ideas, a long "to do" list and a very short night at the end of that session. The life of a new business is not easy, for sure. Tomorrow we have our weekly networking group meeting, which means a 5:30 am wake up call. Considering the fact that its already past midnight and I didn't start getting ready for sleep, it's not a very encouraging picture. But I love what I do and I know that the only road to success is doing what we do I don't think we have much to consider. It is our reality and it is going to be like that for a very long time. We have to push as much as we can to make the waiting period as short as we can.

I am thankful I have such a great partner that keeps me accountable when I slack. I am thankful we do it all together, it makes things so much easier and more pleasant. I am thankful that we still have almost five hours of sleep tonight.

A night out

Day 1117 - finally home a little after 11pm. We stopped on the way to eat dinner and it was so much fun. We make jokes and talk and laugh the whole time and I just love it. I love it when people don't take themselves to seriously, when they can act stupid and crack jokes; it makes for a very special time. And this is how it was tonight. I'm sure the waiters look at us strangely, two old people act like teenagers, obviously liking each other and enjoying the company

The journey

Day 1116 - slowly, day by day our little store is picking up. There are ups and downs, of course, but in general we see a good trend. More people hear about us, we see a lot of word to mouth customers, and we see repeat customers. And this is exactly how we envisioned it. This kind of market is very unique and specialized and it works for a very specific and limited crowd, but there are very few stores like ours. And in the market of unique or common I love being an odd flower. I don't like the " me too" approach. Last month the store already covered its mortgage, I am sure it will do much more than that this month. And today was our best day yet if sales. So I am very very happy and looking forward to see even better news and I'm enjoying one day at a time on this road, every minute of the journey. I knew three years ago I'm embarking on a very special journey, I sure didn't know how it will look or the direction it will take.
 
I am thankful for such a wonderful day. I am thankful I enjoy the journey so much; because this is where all the fun and joy resides. I am thankful for every day, for every step, for a journey beyond my wildest dreams.

My parents

Day 1115 - it is a privilege to still have parents when one is 56 years old, like me. Obviously they are old by now, slow and tired and have limitations and plethora of illnesses. But I am so happy they are still around and kicking. Especially since I missed so many years with them. I had a lovely morning with my mom at my home and then we drove to visit my dad. We spent time with my daughter, just the three girls. A very pleasant day indeed and very befitting for a 78 birthday. And the icing on the cake was to see how much progress my dad made in the past few days. Good news, all good news.
 
I am thankful for the opportunity to spend so e quality time with my mom. I am thankful for a lovely day with my daughter. I am thankful my dad is doing so much better. I am thankful for every waking moment I have.

My mom

day 1114 - After work I drove back home, did some shopping on the way, as usual; but unlike every other day, I drove to the big city to visit my dad and pick up my mom. It's her birthday tomorrow and I didn't want her to be alone tonight; it's hard enough as it is being away from home for so long. we went to a restaurant with my daughter as well and then we drove back to my house. it is again past midnight and I am so tired, I fall asleep as I type. So I think I am going to treat myself to a goodnight sleep right now and write more tomorrow.
 
I am thankful I could do something special for my mom. She never asks for anything, so I am thankful I could do something for her, to make her a little happy. I am thankful she came here so we could spend few hours together. I am thankful I can go to sleep now, I just fell asleep once again.

Dark clouds ahead

Day 1113 - It's Thursday, the end of my working week and I have to admit I like that. Gone are the days when I was full of enthusiasm about my work; I guess it's a combination of changes there that made it a boring place for me and all the excitement of my store. With every passing day I find it harder to keep going. It's sad since I use to like my job, but it all change; ever so slowly so at first I didn't even noticed that until yesterday when it all just blew in my face. Now I have to think what to do next. I am not worried, everything is for the better, but I am disappointed and sad that something that started so nicely is becoming something very different. The next few days will be interesting. But you know me, I like the unknown and I am OK being in that place. I don't try to speculate, nor to change the course of things. I am ready to whatever is coming my way. I can see the benefits of both options and so I am not attached to the outcome. and tomorrow, like every Friday is store day. I love Fridays for that.
 
I am thankful to be here today, despite the obscure future ahead.I am thankful for a day full of good things, full of promise. I am thankful I learned to live in the shadow of the unknown and flourish. I am thankful I can go to sleep now, like every day.  

A very cold night

Day 1112 - it's so cold tonight. Only few days ago we spent a day on the beach and now we are being reminded that February is still winter, even here. We went few minutes ago to my partner's apartment to pick up something and we found his whole neighborhood in a complete blackout. How lucky we are for spending the night at my place; how lucky we are to have such options. It's midnight and very, very cold a d I am here with two heating devices and I'm still cold. Can't wait to take a shower and get under my warm and fuzzy blankets.

I am thankful in a day like today to have a shelter from the biting cold. I am thankful for choosing to be here tonight. I am thankful we can use electricity to warm our house and everything else. I am thankful I can go to sleep now after a very short night.

Applying what we learned

Day 1111 - we had a plan, ironed the memory hooks and the preferred referrals and then we had a whole day to think it over and polish it in our minds before the show. It is the first time we come prepared to the meeting, more focused and ready to do business and the difference was very apparent.  If I stop for a second to think it over, I should have known that. We are coming to a networking group and not a social event, so we have to treat it as a business. From now on we'll do it the right way and I'm sure results will start to come our way. 
  
I am thankful for this tip I got yesterday. It am thankful for a good preparation we had for the meeting tonight. I am thankful for a very good meeting. 

The 60 seconds speech

Day 1110 - after more than a month in two networking groups I decided to make some changes. The first one in to modify and improve my 60 seconds presentation to the group. I watched a very good YouTube video about that and realized I am totally off target. So now I am trying to come up with a better speech and to create a memory hook. It might take me a few days but I know I am on to something. I have to identify more my target market, to define 5 such groups and to explain it in a way that will make referrals easy. All this makes me think in a more focuses way about the store and it's potential clientele. I have to look for interesting stories. All good things; the more I think of creative ways to grow the business, the faster it will grow.
 
I am thankful for this eye opening video I watched and for the understanding it brought with it. I am thankful for the opportunity to get better, to develope my skills. I am thankful for any idea to get better and grow my business.

How to react to a situtation

Day 1109 - sometimes you have to react with logic, not with emotions, actually we have to balance the two. Not to let one be in control of the other and the wisdom we have to exert is to be able to judge when and to what extent. It's so easy to react with emotions when things are not done my way; many times it means to over react. I am too good at that. The lesson for me is to take a deep breath and tell myself, I can do it. I don't have to get angry or upset or hurt. I can just see it for what it is - the frustration of the other person over one thing or another and it has nothing to do with me. At  the spur of the moment when my emotions flair I too often forget that and my goal is to practice it more and more until I can naturally get to that position of dis-attachment; to look to the situation and just be. I got to practice it this evening. I almost burst and then I remembered this card that is my card of the day, and it says: use your logic not your feeling to evaluate the situation, before you react. We have to react, it's part of our nature, but I can chose how; and tonight I chose not to get upset but to let it pass, to understand that the frustration has nothing to do with me and I just happened to be there and I ignited the situation. I like it. I hope I can remember this card for many days. It is a good way to start the week.
 
I am thankful for this new game - card of the day - it brings so much clarity and a very different way to examine my days. I am thankful I remembered the card when I was about to explode. I am thankful for a wonderful day.    

Quality time

Day 1108 - we made a decision to change things and at least for two days we are doing just fine. A good night sleep, healthy food in the right quantities and in the right time and most importantly, we went for a hike on the beach for over two hours. Not very long, but so much more than we did in month. And I have to admit it feels good to be out again, especially on a beautiful day like today. It was windy but warm and sunny and a walk on the beach is always something very special. This week was very difficult and so it is so wonderful to end it in such a relaxed weekend. It gives me the energy needed for another week of high stress, long hours and not enough time to breath. Did I make the right decision of opening a store? For sure I didn't know how demanding it is and how much of my free time it will take, but I am so happy I have it, it bring such great qualities into my life that I think it's worth it big times. There are some plans I have to postpone at the moment, just because you cannot just take off when you have a store, but this is only a delay. I am sure that in a few years we'll bring it to the point we can take time off. And for now, I am happy with what I have. I am fulfilling a dream and i am doing that with the man I love, what more can I ask for.

I am thankful for this wonderful weekend. I am thankful for this opportunity to unwind and recharge. I am thankful for this privilege to live my dream. I am thankful for every little moment.