About changes

Day 1257 - changes in life are something that are not easy to digest; they bring are a step closer to our death, thus frightening for most people. I don't think I welcome death more than your avarage Joe, but I live changes. For me it brings the feeling of a new beginning, it's invigorating and exciting. I love the open road, the unknown, the surprise behind the bend of the road. I find the routine difficult and boring. I changed 4 houses in less than four years. I complain about the packing but I love the excitement. It's always so strange for me to meet people that lived all their life in the same house or worked in the same place. It's a cliche that change us the only constant thing in life, but for me it's a way if life. I was thinking about all this today and I see myself as a very lucky woman that I could live my life this way, not many people can say that. I think I learned a lit and grew as a person because of that. I learned to trust myself more and not be afraid. All good and important things.
 
I am thankful for the opportunities in my life for changes I made. I am thankful I got the chance to reinvent myself so often. I am thankful for all the blessings it brought in its wake. I am thankful for my life, just as they are.

About School vacation

Day 1256 - we live right next to an elementary school and every morning the happy sounds of children at play is a welcome start for the day. It always amazes me to hear them so absorbed in the games, so much in the moment with no coaching and no explanations from a Buddhist monk or a coach or a psychologist. They still have the "know how" before life and the training they go through in school and in life make them forget who they are and why are they here, before they become domesticated. . And then, much later in life few are trying to get back to that wisdom but this time when we are all beat up and scratched and scarred from our life experiences. How wonderful it could be if we can find away to keep that inner child intact and so close to the surface...
So tomorrow is the last day of school before they go to their summer vacation. I'll miss this cheerful wake up and this reminder to stay connected, to take life in a little less heavy and serious way. I hope to remember this constant reminder for the next two months.
 
I am thankful for the daily lessons these kids teach us. I am thankful for every mindful moment I can master in my life.

About anger

Day 1255 - I am reading a book about anger written by a Buddhist monk name Thich Nhat Hanh. And he says that when we get angry we have to tend to it and not to keep fighting with the other person. Our anger is like a wounded child and our job is to embrace it and take care of it instead of trying to make the other person feel bad too. I loved that idea, the picture it gives me. When we realize that we have to take care of ourselves first we will act very differently in situations like that. It is so easy to loose ourselves in the battle and he brings in a calming reality. Our wounded self is the only thing we have to think of in moments like that and by tending to it we do that and we also prevent the escalation of the situation and we avoid hurting the other person. It is of course easier said than done, but if we'll remember it every once in a while we did well already. So here I am trying to do my little part for a better and more harmonious world.

I am thankful I came across this book after years I didn't touch it; nothing is a coincidence I believe. I am thankful for lessons I learn every day, for opportunities to get better. I am thankful for a wonderful weekend.

Friday night at home

Day 1254 - the day was very hot today. After all we live in a hot country and we are in the summer already. But we have this wonderful apartment that sits at the upper end of a ravine leading all the way to the sea. And at the evening a pleasant breeze started and it was just wonderful to sit outside, read a book and enjoy this oasis in the middle of the city. The truth is that at some point it was too windy and chilly that we had to go in!! Such a lovely Friday night in out patio is something so very special. I still enjoy this little piece of heaven and for sure don't take it for granted. I still remember all too well that I left the city looking exactly for that and I did not find it until I came back. Seven minutes drive to the store half an hour walk. Life can be so wonderful!!

I am thankful for a very warm day that turned up so well; I was concerned at how the house will survive, will it be unbearably hot. I am thankful for a lovely evening here at home. I am thankful for this house for the quality of life it gave us. I am thankful for my life.

The lessons we face

Day 1253 - I'm reading a book and came across a well known sentence that hit the right cord - every difficult person or situation in our life is there for a reason; it shine a light on a block we have or something in us that needs attention. It's so true and easy to say but so difficult to live by. To be able to stop in mid run and ask why am I presented with this situation? What can I learn from it? Our reality is constructed from things and people we attract to us so we can take another step in this ever changing world, in this upwards climb to get better, to live more conscious life and to try to make it right. Not to be a victim but the well balanced driver of our life wagon. I feel as if I am so far behind, as if I still have so much to learn, but I am making real efforts and part of what I have to learn is not to be too judgmental towards myself. To learn to appreciate what I do and not to criticize what I didn't do.
 
I am thankful for changes I've made; for lessons I learned. I am thankful I get to live so many years and make all the mistakes and the attempts to fix and do better. I am thankful for challenges and rewards, for lessons and triumphs. I am thankful for my life.

Life is so short so celebrate

Day 1252 - our first website purchase order came in today. It created some technical difficulties but was very welcomed. After more than two months that we push it almost daily, it starts to bring in some traction. I know it can be faster and bigger if we'll invest more in promoting it and we probably should. But at the moment we are trying to operate it on a shoestring. I know it's not much and it will take more time to establish ourselves as serious players in the field, but every such activity is a step in the right direction, thus a very welcomed one.
 
I am thankful for the challenges we were facing today and the brilliant solution my partner created to answer that. I am thankful for our first website order. I am thankful for every reason to celebrate; life is short so we should never forget to be thankful and joyous.

Happy birthday to my beloved daughter

Day 1251 - It's my daughter's birthday and the first one we don't celebrate together since she was born. She is 22 today so I guess it is time for her to spread her wings and be elsewhere, even on her special day; maybe even more so. And I am here thousands of miles away enjoying the fact that she is all grown up. It is a process that every parent has to go through and I feel lucky to be in this position today. She is doing her own things by now embracing life to the fullest and at the end of the day it is what every parent wishes for since the day their child is born. So I am wishing my youngest daughter that is sure not a baby anymore a very happy birthday and I hope to celebrate with her a belated birthday very soon.

I am thankful we reached this point. I am thankful for the most amazing daughter one can wish for. I am thankful for her presence in my life, in this country, on this planet. I love her so very much.

My Kilimanjaro dream

Day 1250 - my partner, knowing how much I want to climb mount Kilimanjaro, surprised me today with a video of a Kilimanjaro climb. Watching in awe I made a resolve once again to attempt a summit of this formidable mountain. So now it is only a question of when not of if. No one promises me a success of course but an attempt is something I can do and I am not going to give up this dream. With the store and all it might take a little longer than originally planned but I am going to do that. To live my dream, to reach for the unreachable star.
 
I am thankful for this reminder of big dreams and big plans; I love the excitement and the sense of achievement they bring in their wake. I am thankful to my partner for the effort and for how touched he was by what we saw.

Life is wonderful

Day 1249 - no big news; nothing exciting to report. But the truth is that I am OK with that after a very intense weekend. My parents are OK, my kids are OK, my partner, myself... What else can I ask for? I see so many people around who cannot say that. So many people who are living their life as if it was some kind of a punishment instead of realizing how precious life is and celebrate every day. So of course I don't celebrate every single day, but I never forget to look around and see how lucky I am, how fulfilled my life is and how this is not something I can ever take for granted. I never forget that it is not a given and I never forget to thank the planet or god or however we want to call these amazing forces around us that protect, and help us every step of the way. I am so lucky to live here in the country I love, with people I love, doing things that I love. And even every trial I go through has its purpose; to make me a better person, thus to make my life better and richer. I go to sleep tonight with a song in my heart. How lucky I am to be alive.
 
I am thankful for this simple truth; my life is just wonderful. I am thankful for every trial, for every triumph, for every failure; it's how we grow and deepen our roots and our mental and spiritual strength. I am thankful I can go to sleep now and wake up tomorrow for another blessed day here on this planet of ours.  

Day 1248

Day 1247 -

house hunting

Day 1246 - I started looking again for an apartment to buy and I went to see one tonight. I have to admit it's not fun. I am not sure why but it doesn't make me happy to do that. As if I am not set yet that this is what I want to do. I guess I am still not sure how to go about it since I don't have enough money to buy something I like unless I will find a bargain and I don't know how to do it here. So I do it for a few days and then I stop and take time off before launching another attack. But I will not be able to find a good place unless I'll be consistent and wait for the right place. I should be more diligent and more patient. But with my hectic life style it's a little difficult to to do that. But I cannot complain at least I am in a position now that I can look for a place and even better yet, I have a wonderful place to live right now so I am not in a hurry and I can wait for the right place instead of buying under pressure of time. So I just have to keep doing it and all will work to my advantage. I know at the end I'll find exactly what I am looking for and until then I have a place to live.

I am thankful I can finally start looking for an apartment of my own. I am thankful I have the opportunity to start looking around. I am thankful I can take my time and look for the best place I can afford to buy. I am thankful to start this project, even if I am way too tired to do it as a full time job.

Jewelry making

Day 1245 - when I was planning to leave my home I had this idea of traveling the world for a year and making a little extra money by selling jewelry I'll be making. I even took with me as part of my 2 suitecases load. But my plans have changed. I did not travel but had to start working right away. And my tools were stored with all the rest of my stuff and all but forgotten. Every time I moved to a new apartment I pulled it out but after a few days or weeks stored it again, unused. And it saddened me. Because I love making jewelry and because I kind of lost my creativity. Then came the store and things have started to change. And slowly I started working with my hands again. And now that I spend so much more time in the store I am also working and making jewelry again as well as other products. I feel do good doing it again and connecting to something I love and cherish so much.

I am thankful for hours of fun I spent today making jewelry. I am thankful for the revival of my dream. I am thankful the store gives me the space and time and most of all for opening the flow of the creative me that was all but forgotten.

My class, again

Day 1244 - it's late and I'm tired at the end of a very long day. But I am not complaining. It's Tuesday and I just came back from my class. So even though it's late, I am very happy for another fascinating class. Slowly we learn how to put the pieces together and create a meaningful picture. We are not yet in a position to be of help, to advise, but at least a picture starts to take shape out of the fog. And its amazing to see how it happens, time after time. It's getting more interesting and more challenging with every passing week. How wonderful!! I am very happy I decided to choose that field since it combines logic with intuition and I think this is the right combination for me. I have now a whole week to practice what I've learned before getting to the next lesson. I cannot wait for tomorrow to do that; I'm just too tired today.
 
I am thankful for the opportunity I have to learn something new. I am thankful for these first hesitating steps in this mysterious world I chose as my path. I am thankful for the opportunity to stretch my mind in unexpected directions.

Some necessary changes to my daily life

Day 1243 - long talk with my mom, heart to heart discussion abut the situation over there. I think I'll drive there this weekend to be with them and to give her a day to breath and not to bed burdened by my father's needs. The more I look at it the more I am getting sad am I going to be in the same place in 20 or 30 years. I am sure that as we get older our needs get bigger and our ability less and less, but I hope to be able to be strong and independent to my last day.  And I sure hope for my parents right now just the same. And in the mean while, I decided to start doing yoga again to keep my body in good shape and give myself better chances at being well and fit. I think yoga is the best form of exercise and I will try to find a place to my liking so I can adopt and stick to a routine. Our days are numbered here on this land and we better take best care of the temple body who keeps us here; if not, we will have to part prematurely or at least have a less pleasant experience than the promise we all come here with. So as of today I going to do the best I can to take care of my future by taking care of myself today. Adequate sleep, yoga and the right nutrition is all it takes. And for my mental strength - meditation. This is what I have to aim for in the coming years if I want any hope at not be where my parents are today. I think I am ready for that; it's easy when you clearly see the "or else". How very sad. you cannot be a couch potato for years and hope for good health at old age. you just can't. It doesn't work this way.
 
I am thankful I still have time to make changes in my life; I hope I won't ever forget what I see and I pray that all this can help me when the time comes.