About kindness

Day 771 - it is not easy for me to be on the receiving end of good deeds, of kindness. For too many years it was not part of my life that it doesn't come naturally. I have to remind myself that it's OK and I don't have to feel uneasy when someone is bestowing on me kindness. And my partner does it all the time. He cleans the house and buys groceries and fresh produce and he cooks for me all the time. It makes me feel so good, so loved and appreciated and I have to admit its all new for me but I like it. for some reason it's hard for me to accept help, to show weakness, or even worse - to show need. I prefer to appear as strong and independent. And this is something I am suddenly aware of and thanks to that will be able to start working on improving at this junction. Is it that I don't believe I am worthy, maybe it was not safe for me to show weakness maybe something else even deeper than that. what ever the source is now it is time for me to heal that wound and move on.

I am thankful for a partner that is so nice and kind to me. I am thankful for the shadows of my past it brought to the surface. I am thankful for the awareness it brought with it. I am thankful for the promise of healing and change.