Take a vacation from life

Day 752 - The truth is that I am home already for two days but could not master the will to get back to writing my blog and the question is of course why. I think I did not want to finish this amazing vacation, and getting back to the blog would symbolize just that. The past two weeks were absolutely amazing. It was difficult, we had to deal with the weather that was particularly extreme, we had to deal with lack of water, with boring and scarce food; we had to deal first and foremost with the physical challenges that such an adventure presents from sleeping in a tent on hard and very thin mattress to the toll on a 55 and 63 years old bodies; the aches and pains, the exhaustion, the will power to wake up the next morning at 5 am to another grueling day, the sole company of each other for days on end that in our case proved a blessing... in short there was no way I could be prepared for what awaited me on this epic journey from my point of view. I also found the other side of this coin - the solitude of two people in the midst of this vast and desolated place, the strong bonds we developed; the realization I have literally trusted him with my life and vice versa and that I cannot think of another man I would trust like that, the deep conviction that he would do what ever it takes to get me back to safety and I would do the same. It was the ultimate test for our love and commitment to each other and we both came out of it knowing we have found the person we want to spend the rest of our life with. We also came out of it knowing we'll keep doing it as much and as often as we can. We already miss the road, the wild, the freedom it brings with it.
My friends, if you never before took a vacation from life, I suggest you do that. for two weeks we learn how little we really need to be happy. A dry tent at the end of the day, enough water to drink and something to eat; everything else was a blessed extra, a nicety but we could do without it. We were disconnected from the world for most of the day with only a short phone call at the evening to check about next day's weather and to let our worried families know we arrived at our daily destination. Our daily worries were real - floods, food, water and the challenges of the trail itself - the climbs, the descends, the obstacles. We could walk for long periods of time in a meditative way, just putting one foot before the next and clear our heads and we could chat and joke and check on each other periodically. I came back out of it with a feeling of triumph, an amazing achievement that at point look impossible to reach, but also knowing this "getting off the rat race" is how I want to live my life. It is hard for me the accept it is over, that I have to get back to my 8 to 4 routine, that I'd rather have very little but have my freedom. I know I cannot just jump and quit everything but I am going to make some changes, I am going to start living the life I am carving for myself out of free choice and not because I am following the common wisdom we were raise with. I came back from this vacation with a new and fresh look at my life and how I want to live them. I want to reclaim them once again and write my very own script. I didn't expect it but I feel blessed for the clarity I gained.
  
I am thankful in a way I'll never be able to express or repay to my beloved partner for lending his experience and being with me on this journey; only when I was there I realized the magnitude f such a present. I am thankful for everyday, for every challenge, for every moment of grace. I am thankful for this journey of a life time. I am thankful for the clarity and the poise it brought with it. I was walling for days in these harsh and grueling conditions thinking to myself "what would you do for someone you truly love? my partner was ready to walk 200 km for that, to suffer unbelievable pains just to see me happy, to give me something I really wanted" I am thankful beyond words for this love; I didn't think it's possible to find something like that and I know I am so very fortunate I have.