Coping

Day 1629 - I forgot to publish my blog thus it is now gone. Oops... Day 1630 - getting back to normal is a mixed feeling issue for me. How can I go back to my life when my dad just passed away? I still find it hard to grasp that he is not here with us anymore. I go through my daily life and some of it loses its significance. What is the meaning of our lives? One moment you are here and the next you are not. Last week we were crying for the loss of a father and the next we were joking and laughing, and making future plans while he is still gone. How easy it is in our very hectic world to keep moving forwards and leave almost everything behing. I loved my dad very much so I'm trying to think how can I do it differently. We were sitting on our porch this evening and talking about our late parents. My partner lost his mom a year and a half ago so we had some feelings and thoughts we can share, knowing it will be understood; it was good for me. Connecting, not just moving on. And sadly it made me realize I was not there enough for my partner when his mom passed away. Only now I see that. How sad. He is so supportive, not only here but in everything I go through, I wish I could be like that too. Some people are so receptive and intro reprieve they can read you like an open book and he is one of them. I am so thankful to him for this evening of tender talk and gentle memories. An evening that helps soothing the soul.