My Parents

Day 1242 - I got a phone call today from my sister that my mom is not doing well. She had a little accident few weeks ago and hurt her knee and apparently  it's not healing well but on the contrary its getting worse by the day. I guess I am too busy in my little world to listen to her well enough, to hear what she is not saying. So it really caught me by surprise. A late evening conference call between us all the three children that can do something right now concluded a mode of operation. they need help and it cannot be delayed any longer. Even my mom agreed to that today when she talked to my brother. So tomorrow we are going to start the process of finding help for them, probably a live in if it will get the OK from the social services authorities. We were very matter of fact and had our tasks laid down but later this evening it suddenly done on me. The inevitability of  the approaching end. The getting very old and helpless part. My mom that was always so proud and so strong is also getting older and frail. My dad is doing it for quite some time but she was always so strong. But a human's strength is only temporary and the end is always behind the corner. I was thinking about that and it really hurts. I cannot even think in this direction. think of my mom as an old and frail woman. She was holding up so well with all her health and physical problems and now she is starting to slide down the hill. It hurts too much to even think about it. But it sure is a wake up call for me. I talk to her every day but it's really far and I am so tired by the end of the week so I allow myself to slack on my visits. I will try to be better about it. She sure needs a helping hand and a listening ear for a few hours; the burden is just too much for her and her body starts to give in. If I don't want her to get really sick I better do my part and visit more or bring them here with all the inconvenience of my little apartment and the lousy bed I have for guests. I am sure they will be OK here or I should go there more often. Sad, I am so very sad tonight.

I am thankful for this wake up call. I am thankful it is still not too late. I am thankful my parents are still here with us and I hope it will be for a very long time.

About a city mouse and a country mouse

Day 1241 - a sunny and warm day, so very pleasant. Again in our little home and little garden that got a boost today with 150 gallons of potting soil and 15 pots. Not all are filled yet and planted but some do and we have now cucumbers seeds and bell peppers and I hope they will grow and enrich our little organic garden. we use the spices all the time - thyme, basil, marjoram, parsley, coriander, mint, and few more. we have little green tomatoes and many more tomato plants that still didn't bloom. In short the dream we had when we left the city is taking shape as we returned. and I love it.
 
I am thankful for a restful weekend. I am thankful I get to play "farmer" in the middle of a bustling city and enjoy both worlds.

Simple joys in life

Day 1240 - late once again but a very good evening indeed. Friday night. Sitting outside in our little patio with good wine and good food and best of all with the feeling of a Friday night holiness. A day of rest and charging batteries ahead of us. No rush and no schedule. The house is clean, the food tasty, the night crispy and quiet and a good company of a partner that is so dear to me. This in a nutshell is what I was looking for all along. Simple life, simple joys. It can be so simple, yet we complicate our lives endlessly. If we only knew how to simplify, how to concentrate on the important and leave out the rest we would be so much happier. Easier said than done, I know that. But tonight I connected with my true nature, my real needs for few hours and it makes for a very special experience. I hope I will be able to repeat this many time.

I am thankful for a wonderful uneventful evening. I am thankful I can find joy in the mundain. I am thankful I found this place and most of all thankful for having this man in my life that brings so much tenderness and love to every little thing I do.

A little burn

Day 1239 - while cooking tonight I reached over a pot of boiling water and the steam gave me a burn. Not a bad one, just an area of very red skin in the inner side of my arm. This was bothering me a lot the whole evening and made me think how horrible it must have been for my daughter after her very serious burn.

About my store

Day 1238 - we had today the first purchase from our website and I find it very exciting. True, it's slow but I happens and the website enables us to reach wider audience than our local people. It will enable us to spread our wings. As I am planning to spend more time in the store I will be able to keep our website updated and fresh and hopefully we will have more of that - remote customers we never met but know and appreciate the special things we do and sell. And since I was in the store the whole afternoon I also made crystal balls hanging on a nylon line with different stones according to their special character. One for tranquility, one for abundance, one with all the seven chakras. I love preparing new products. I love that I can do the things I like and sell them in my store. I love that after years I make these things I find people who like them and are ready to pay for it.
 
I am thankful for a great day at the store. I am thankful for all the wonderful things it brings into my life. I am thankful it opens up my creativity again and make me want to do more and more. I am thankful for my day, as always.

My Tuesday class

Day 1237 - on the train on my way back from another numerology class. I find the class so interesting and the subject very complex but I know that as I'll practice it more I'll get more insight into the why and how and later also into what we should do to fix or make our life roll more smoothly. Interesting how much you can Lear from a simple thing like someone's birth date and his name. I am so happy I decided to take this class. I know I am learning a very powerful tool I'll be able to use in the very near future in my business. And I am looking forward to that day. Right now I am very unsure of my steps but the horizon gets a little clearer with every additional lesson. And at the moment I just enjoy the little that I already know and try to apply it to the dates if people I know as a practice. How very interesting that our path can be predicted by these few details.

I am thankful I had the privilege to be introduced to this fascinating field and join this amazing class. I am thankful for all the knowledge and insight I gain. I am looking forward to days I'll be able to apply this knowledge to help other people make better choices.

The family guardian

Day 1236 - my daughter flew this morning to visit the family. Our family is half way around the world. It takes almost 24 hours to get there so we sure don't see each other enough. But she is doing much better than I do. It's her second trip in less than a year and she is going to be there for a very long time. It's probably going to be a little difficult for her to be away from her daily life for so long and in a place she doesn't belong to anymore. But I think it's wonderful she can do it. Our family is wide spread and we are also too far to be in each other's life. Do for five weeks now she is going to change that and really be with her father and her siblings. Quality time like we haven't had in a very long time. I am happy she is taking this trip and doing her part to stay in her siblings' life. There are not many things more important than that. Or else when the parents will be gone the kids won't keep in touch and it makes me sad even to think of it as a possibility.
 
I am thankful my daughter is making every effort to keep the family together. I am thankful for the reminder to all how we should behave. I am thankful to have three wonderful children and I pray they'll stay united despite the distance.

Living my dream

Day 1235 - a summer evening in our little house. Sitting outside, enjoying a quite evening. With a big bowl of cut watermelon, some feta cheese and a fleece jacket since the evenings are still chilly here on the Carmel mountain, even in June. Making plans of how to promote the store, few new products we want to introduce, how to get ready this coming year to address special dates, events and holidays. I find it challenging and mind opening to do that. I feel my creative mind getting into higher gear. As days go by and we learn the territory more, our ideas become better and we have more to offer. I love the feeling of having a goal and looking for ways to make that goal a reality. I love doing it in a field I always attracted to and with the man I love. What else can I ask for. As always, life is in the details and I enjoy looking at the little flowers on the sides of the road.
 
I am thankful for an opportunity that us there for me just for the courage to ask and to try. I am thankful for the boost my creativity is getting with every passing day. I am thankful for such a lovely evening. I am thankful for living my dream.

The blessings of a weekend

Day 1234 - Saturday night, refreshed after the weekend and ready to face a new week. The holidays are all behind us now until our new year and we have a long stretch to work the best we can to bring the store to where we think it has the potential to be. A quite weekend of eating right, resting and a little beach time as well. I love living in this city by the sea and have a ten minutes ride or less from our door to the sea shore, especially on the weekend when traffic is light. Big plans for a long hike today have changed in the last moment, but maybe next week. The trails won't go away and the circumstances might be more favorable. Hiking or not, the rest is much needed and much appreciated.

I am thankful for yet another beach day, one in many since the summer just begun. I am thankful for some "us" time. I am thankful for time to recharge and collect ourselves and be ready, once again.

Of parents and children

Day 1233 - I called my son this evening, hoping to catch him on his way to work after two weeks I was not able to reach him. It turned out he lost his phone but more importantly that he is going to an ACL surgery two hours late. I have to admit it's hard to be here on this side of the ocean and not there at this very moment and it also hurts he didn't even think of letting me know all that. As our children are getting older it's a natural process that we grow apart, that we are not so much in each other life. It is the natural way of things and this is how it should be, but still I find it hard to grasp the distance we put between us since I moved away. I love my kids so much but I am so far away and cannot make the trip often enough. I made a choice and these are  the consequences. I keep asking myself if it was the right choice? But as sad as it is I am pretty sure it was. I had to start my life anew and I could not afford to stay in the same area - too expensive for my financial ability. And if I had to start over in a new place at least here it feels like home and not in a foreign land. But the price, the price sometimes is so heavy. Like today, sitting here at midnight thinking about my son going into surgery, the long recovery he is facing and I am here. But as I am re-reading these lines it's clear to me that the most important thing is that he is taking care of his health, something he neglected to do when he was younger. And I am very happy that he really doesn't need me around; it is more my wish to stay in his life and refusal to let go, that a real need on his part for a helping parental hand. I guess it's time to face it - my role in their life is getting smaller as my kids are getting older. Just as my parents' role in mine grew smaller the older I got, well, before they get older and the whole cycle goes the other direction.

I am sad but still thankful; thankful my son is all grown up and doesn't need me anymore, that it is more my refusal to let go than his need for me. I am thankful he is taking mature decisions and responsibilities. I am most thankful I had this urge to call him on a Friday night thus being able to wish him well before his surgery.  

A different angle on holidays

Day 1232 - a regular day after a mid week holiday. And tomorrow is Friday and the weekend. When you are working on a salary it's something you love, another day of vacation. But when you are self employed, a day off is a day you don't sell and bring in no income. Interesting how the view changes from different angles. And now I belong to that group and check my store's bottom line every day and every month, living the ups and down of unsheltered existence.
 
I am thankful for a new and uncharted road I am taking. I am thankful for opportunities life present to me. I am thankful I am at the age I don't shy from it but welcome all that is yet to come with open arms and open heart.

Beach day

Day 1231 - i picked up my daughter this morning but a very very hot day changed our plans. A very short hike proved its not the right a tivity for a day like that. So we made a quick detour and went to the beach, a very pleasant summer activity in a hot country like ours. We spent few lovely hours there sleeping and reading enjoying the heat that is lovely when you are on the beach in a bathing suite but almost unbearable once you go back home. Of course this wasn't the end of the day and we spend the rest of it doing other things. A lovely day indeed before her trip.

I am thankful for the beautiful city i chose as my home. I am thankful for all the things that creat a very special beach outing. I am thankful for such a nice day I spent with my daughter.

A quiet evening

Day 1230 - It is a holiday today, but one I never felt strongly about so not much point in celebrating it, but it is a day off tomorrow and it was a short day today. A little recharge in the middle of the week. and I am at home tonight just reading a book. Simple pleasures I didn't do in a long time. I know it's nothing important but in our very hectic way of life, taking time for self cannot be taken for granted and I am thankful for that.
 
I am thankful for few hours of "me time". I am thankful for a lovely evening of reading. I am thankful for fights, for making up again. I am thankful for the ebbs and flows of life.

This day is finally over

Day 1229 - I know there are always things to be thankful for and I know that in the bigger scale all is well, but I sure don't feel like writing today. There are days like that I guess. But I am thankful for my life and thankful this day is over.

A very good month

Day 1228 - it's the beginning of a new month, of June. So time to summerize the month of May. It was our best month in the store and we are almost at the break even point. It covers all the expenses except inventory, I hope in two months we'll reach that point as well. But considering the fact that I planned it will take a year to reach this point, we are doing very well. We are in a very small nitche and we were totally unknown in the region. So we had to start from scratch and yet every single month we see an increase in the sell volume and the number and quality of our customers. It is not time to kick back and relax and we have to double our efforts to bring new clients into the circle but it is very encouraging to see the stats. It is the reward for hard work and dedication, and I hope these rewards will keep coming and bring us to new heights every single month.
 
I am thankful for the promise that every month brings with it that our adventure will succeed. I am thankful for the road we are on right now. I am thankf for all I learned in the past half year, a great school for life, for sure.