My Parents

Day 1242 - I got a phone call today from my sister that my mom is not doing well. She had a little accident few weeks ago and hurt her knee and apparently  it's not healing well but on the contrary its getting worse by the day. I guess I am too busy in my little world to listen to her well enough, to hear what she is not saying. So it really caught me by surprise. A late evening conference call between us all the three children that can do something right now concluded a mode of operation. they need help and it cannot be delayed any longer. Even my mom agreed to that today when she talked to my brother. So tomorrow we are going to start the process of finding help for them, probably a live in if it will get the OK from the social services authorities. We were very matter of fact and had our tasks laid down but later this evening it suddenly done on me. The inevitability of  the approaching end. The getting very old and helpless part. My mom that was always so proud and so strong is also getting older and frail. My dad is doing it for quite some time but she was always so strong. But a human's strength is only temporary and the end is always behind the corner. I was thinking about that and it really hurts. I cannot even think in this direction. think of my mom as an old and frail woman. She was holding up so well with all her health and physical problems and now she is starting to slide down the hill. It hurts too much to even think about it. But it sure is a wake up call for me. I talk to her every day but it's really far and I am so tired by the end of the week so I allow myself to slack on my visits. I will try to be better about it. She sure needs a helping hand and a listening ear for a few hours; the burden is just too much for her and her body starts to give in. If I don't want her to get really sick I better do my part and visit more or bring them here with all the inconvenience of my little apartment and the lousy bed I have for guests. I am sure they will be OK here or I should go there more often. Sad, I am so very sad tonight.

I am thankful for this wake up call. I am thankful it is still not too late. I am thankful my parents are still here with us and I hope it will be for a very long time.