Inner Strength

Day 30 - It's the eve of my birthday. The first one I am celebrating here in 22 years. The first one I am celebrating away from my older children and my partner of 33 years, the first one I am not at home anymore, at least not the one I used to call home for so long. So it is very much a time for reflection. Well, I think that this is what a birthday is all about anyway. So I look back at the year that passed - the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, it definitely was a very eventful year. I did more changes in one year than I did in the past 10 years combined, probably even longer. What a ride. When I talk to friends and tell them what I went through this year they are amazed, how I managed to do it all, how I mastered the courage to do that. I don't see it this way. I know it was an amazing year but I think that once I made up my mind it was not such a big thing anymore. It is a culmination of the past 10 years. It took a very long time to start moving the wheels of change, but once they were out into motion all else derived from it. Inertia is our worst enemy. It puts us to sleep, lull our senses, and like in physics, it takes a lot of energy to start moving again, to wake up and realize that I lived a life that was not right for me anymore.

I am so thankful that I found the strength in me, to get up and put my life back in motion, that I had the courage to reclaim my freedom, my life, to start on a new path. I could not ask for a better birthday present.