Day 95 - I was talking to a friend of mine about dating. She goes on a lot of dates and bring back stories from the trenches. I still didn't go on a single date, didn't feel ready yet. But I started thinking about it - what am I looking for in a partner and my list is quite long. I think that as we get older we are more set on our ways and less ready to compromise, it is definitely true for me. It might be also that after one marriage behind me I know more what I am looking for, and it is very different than what I was looking for 32 years ago when I got married. Now it is more about the way my hypothetical guy is thinking, his priorities , his preferences and things like that and so much less about looks, charisma and such. It is quite clear to me that with the length of my list and the kind of guy I am looking for I will have to search for a very long time, I guess I am going to stay single for a very long time, but I am OK with that. I prefer to be alone than in a relationship that doesn't work. And besides, I am not even ready to start dating. I still have a lot to learn about myself and about the mistakes I made in my previous marriage, to make sure it will not happened the second time around, like we hear so many times. It sounds bad - to go with a "shopping list" but the truth is I am very comfortable in my single life and I will not give it up easily, it had to be for a good reason, for the perfect man for me. I am happy to understand what is it I am looking for, and realizing that I was so right about leaving home.
I am thankful today for starting to open my mind to the idea, even if not my heart yet. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to learn from previous mistakes and try no to repeat them. I am thankful for spending a long time today thinking about my future mate - it made me so happy!
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