Spending an Afternoon Together

Day 98 - I going to be away now for 10 days. It is only the second time since my youngest daughter was born that we are going to be away for such a long time. And since her injury and surgery we got to spend so much time together that it is going to be very strange to be apart for so long now. So we had a little outing today just to spend time with each other. Our first stop was a hair salon to check about getting hair extensions. It is more than four months since she had the anaphylactic shock from the hair dye and had to shave her head to save her life. It's been a very long journey back to recovery since than. the hair started to grow but it will take of course a very long time to be long again and it is too much of a constant reminder of that traumatic event. everyone can tell her how beautiful she looks with the very short hair, because she has such beautiful features, but she can't see that. It is not something she chose to have and it is just too much for her. But we found out today that it is still too short even for hair extensions. They said that her hair's length will be right in about 2 months and than she can get it. Not really what she wanted to hear and it is not easy to wait an extra time, but I know she will be so happy with it when she finally gets it. It breaks my heart to see how much she suffers and how much she was affected to the core by this event. I can only look from the sideline and hug her when she cries, but not much else. I never been so close to death and I don't know how it feels or the level of fear and anxiety it must bring with it. I wish I could shoulder her pain, but I can't help in any way, just be there when she needs a hug, or a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen to all she is going through.

I am thankful that I was there through it all with her and so she can trust I know a little about what she went through. I am thankful that she feels comfortable enough to tell me how she feels and what's going on with her. And like every time I think about it, I am so thankful I am here and so she is not alone to try to figure it all out and to go through this very difficult journey. And more than anything else in the world, I am so thankful she is alive.