Stop and Smell the Flowers

Day 133 – there was a lot of talk about the event yesterday. Even before it’s over we start to hear criticism and remarks. It is human nature, I know, but I feel that we have to learn to control it and for just one moment enjoy what we have accomplished before we tear it apart. If we are too critical, we don’t encourage people to take risks, we don’t encourage creativity. We cannot come and say how bad things are, but instead sit back for a moment, enjoy the huge achievement done by so few very dedicated people they worked like crazy for months, and especially in the past month. We will never be happy if we cannot stop and celebrate achievements, if we cannot find the good in everything. I am not saying that we should not strive to get better, or that there is no place for improvements, on the contrary, I already wrote yesterday that there are things to learn from this experience, but not today, not even tomorrow, let’s do it next week and today, let toast to all those who made it happened. Let’s toast to all the thinking and the hard work and the endless work that went into creating such an event. Let the vultures go away, and learn to enjoy things. We are saying the same things – there is room for improvements, it is just the way things are being said and most of all – the timing. And timing is everything

I am thankful today that this annual event is over, and I can finally rest tonight and tomorrow.  I never did anything like this before and I enjoy it very much. I am thankful I could take part in such monumental event. And I am thankful I learned to step back and enjoy things and not just criticize, it makes for much happier and positive attitude.

Soo Tired

Day 132 – finally, after months of preparations the big event I was taking about stared today. The day went very well. We had many guests and it is going very well, so far. We had today a tour of different departments at the hospital. At night we had a very elaborate gala dinner. It was very well done and very touching but few small things overshadowed it. First it was a great program but too long, especially considering the fact that it is the middle of the week and people have work tomorrow. And the more important one is that it was planned as an outdoors event – a garden setting – and it was cold and as the night progressed it became colder and colder. To the point the people just left or went inside. We will have to do some serious thinking and draw the right conclusion from this event and apply it to next year event. But I am dead tires and I have to be back at work in five hours, so I am going to sleep now and will write more tomorrow.

 I am thankful that I can go to sleep now. I am so very  tired that I fell asleep while talking with my daughter on the phone. Sometimes just to going  to sleep is something to be thankful for.

I am a Grandmother!!

Day 131 –In the past week or so I was going to bed every night making sure the phone is on, in case “the call” will come in the middle of the night. Tonight, I finally got the call very early this morning, around 3 am my time that the water broke and contractions started, but they are still staying at home. Two or three hours later my daughter called again that they are in the hospital. And few hours later, it was time to congratulate the new parents for the birth of this beautiful girl. It is so strange and sad to be so far away when the most important moment in my daughter’s life had come, but this is the life I chose and it means that I will celebrate many such occasions from far away. I can look at it and say how sad it is but today is a very special day and I am not going to spoil it in anyway, I will not bring my own heartaches into the midst of the party.  Today, May 29^th my daughter became a mother, my husband and I became grandparents, each one of us on another continent, but still, we are both grandparents for this sweet baby and in reverse role. He, who used to be such an absentee father, was there all the way even present at the room for most of the delivery, and I, who used to be a stay home and always present mom, is the one who is the absentee grandmother.  Right now I want to say only one thing – O My God, I am a grandma!!! My daughter and her wife are mothers to a tiny little girl. Another miracle happened in this world.

How thankful I am to new technologies that enable these two young women to have a child of their own. I am thankful that we live in time and age when this kind of family is acceptable and will not feel different and unwanted. I am thankful for this miracle child, at times when so many children are not wanted, this girl will always know how much they wanted her and what they had to go through to have her. I am thankful today to be a grandmother for the first time. I know I will have many more grandchildren, but this is my first one and so it is very special time. OMG – I am a grandma!!!

Shanty in the Desert

Day 130 –I woke up this morning very early and there was a sound I could not recognize at first. After a few seconds I realized it was rain and the faint smell of wet soil came in as well. This is unbelievable! A rain in the desert in late May!!  It rained until I fell asleep again. When I woke up again two hours later, it was dry again. I stayed in the “living room” area of the tent, where we ate the night before, drank some tea gain, talked for a while with the father of my daughter’s friend and just enjoyed a relaxed morning. After the kids woke up and we finished breakfast, they had to leave and we (me and the two girls) decided to go on a hike. We went into the desert, walked the dry bed of a creek, climbed some serious hills, and rocks, found some fossils and two hours later very sweaty and happy we got back in the car and drove to my parents’ home. I wrote about the memoir book I am trying to finish for my dad, so I prepared a few questions ahead of time and I set with him and asked all those questions, got some interesting answers and never before heard stories and recorded it all so I can transcribe it later at home. I think this idea might actually work. I get new stories, and I get more details so I can make old stories more alive. We have 35 pages right now, I want to get to around 100 and then call it a done project. We stayed at my parents’ home for a few hours and then we started the long drive back home, dropping off the friend at her grandparents’ house.

We came back so dirty from our little adventure in the desert, and very tired. It was good to take a long shower and be clean again. So, even with simple way of life I will opt for a shower, always. But so many other things in our daily life are so good to part with, at least every once in a while. It was such a wonderful and relaxing weekend, meditative in a way, since it is all just about now, about being in the present, with very few distractions. I enjoyed this weekend very much and I have to do it more often. I know that not far from there someone opened a retreat center, where you can stay for a few days or even longer. I have to check about that and come for a long weekend. It can be a very special weekend; a desert spiritual experience.

I am thankful for a wonderful weekend. I am thankful for a very relaxing time ahead of this coming week that will be extremely busy with work. I am thankful that I also got to see my parents and pick up few more stories. I am thankful that I got to enjoy one more weekend with my daughter, something I don’t take for granted and cherish every moment of it. 

A Magical Night in the Desert

Day 129 –I will not be able to post this entry today, since we are in an no internet tonight, so it will be posted tomorrow upon my return and here is the story:   my hiking group had the idea to travel this Friday (today )to the desert, few hours away from where I live, and have an whole night event of campout with songs and dances as part of a big happening that takes place there once a year. The location of that event is like an hour away from where my parents live so I figured that on Saturday morning when the event is over, I’ll drive to my parents and stay there for a few hours before heading back north. My daughter was to come with me and she invited one of her friends to join us. And then I started thinking – maybe instead of going to the event we will go and spend the night in a tent of nomads that we visited several times before only for lunch and we always thought is can be so cool to spend the night there. And this is what we did. We drove this afternoon all the way to the desert. It was a long drive, but the girls where in very good spirit and it was much fun.  One more of my daughter friends and his father, who came here for a short visit, decided to joined us and we met them half way there and we drove all the way to the campsite. By the time we arrived there it was 7:30pm and we were hungry, so we took a short hike just to see a little of the desert before it got too dark and we headed back to camp. Then set in the tent on carpets and cushions next to very low tables and ate, and drank a lot of tea as is customary there and just talked and laughed. Later we went out for some stargazing. It is so beautiful – very dark night with no moon and almost no light contamination and we could see so many stars, so many we can’t recognize. But it so great to do that, just look at the dark sky and recognize how little we are how huge is the universe around us, and how beautiful it all is. It always amazes me, every time I go camping, how little we actually need in order to be happy. How much we burden ourselves and our lives with things we don’t need. I love the simple way of living. Not as basic as a tent and a mattress, but I love simplicity, it brings such a relaxation and calm.  

I am thankful for a great idea to campout in this beautiful and so relaxing place. I am thankful for my daughter and her friends who joined this adventure and made it so much better, for friendship and companionship. I am thankful for being here in this wonderful country and for the opportunities it offers. I am thankful for a magical night in the desert.

Tracks Watch

Day 128 – two years ago a kid in my daughter’s grade committed suicide by jumping in front of a train. A seventeen years old boy who in one moment lost his life, a family ruined forever. It is sad beyond comprehension. This suicide started a new “trend” in our town. A month, to the day after that boy died another teen, this time an 18 year old girl jumped in front of a train, at the same crossing. She was already been accepted to college and two weeks before high school graduation. Two months later another kid tried to jump and his mother caught him and fought with him, a stranger who passed by help her and they forced the kid off the tracks.
This phenomenon of several suicides at the same place and method within a very short period,  is called “cluster suicide”. And at that point, we as parents, realized what we are facing, and decided to put an end to it. We formed a group of volunteers and we just set there near the crossing and guarded it. To make sure that no more kids will jump. We set there until the last train passed at 1am, in two hours watches day and night, through the very cold winter. Many people who pass by honk to encourage us, or thank us. People brought hot drinks sometimes or just stopped and chat. We brought awareness, we brought the subject to the forefront and we sent a very clear message. Our children’s lives are so dear to us that we are ready to do whatever it takes to stop the madness. We are ready to lose sleep and comfort, we are willing to brave the elements and we will do whatever it takes to make sure they are safe. It was a campaign by very few people but it did what we set up to do. It stopped the cycle. After few months that we guarded the tracks the city authorities were embarrassed and decided to take over. They hired a security company and the tracks on that crossing are still guarded to this day. We will never know how many lives we have saved by that simple act of love, but I am so proud to have been part of that group. I am so happy we understood what it takes sometimes in fight to prevent acts of desperations.

Sadly I was reminded of this storytoday by a story of another suicide story that I just heard. Another 18 years old girl who decided to end her life. I have no words to express who much it pains me even though I never knew that girl. Too many such stories are coming our way. As my daughter just said – here everyone knows someone who got injured in the army (mostly in training) there, where we came from, everyone knows someone who committed suicide. How very sad, what an awful waste.

I am thankful for every precious life we managed to save, for those whom were actually stopped on the tracks and for who knows how many more who decided not to try. I feel privileged to be part of that special group. I am thankful we managed to convince enough people to admit their fear and take a stand to try to prevent these unbearable acts of desperation. I hope time brought some relieve to the kids and pointed them in a new direction.

Making Mistakes

Day 127 - I had to organize a lot of things under pressure, and it was the first time I did it all alone. It was also the first time I did it in 5 months, so it was a learning experience. I made some mistakes and two people got upset that i scheduled something with them for the group and never showed-up. I am not going to get into the argument whether it was accurate or not, because this is not what I want to talk about today. It was the fact that I did something and it was presented as not a perfect? It is about the fact that these two individuals got upset and lashed at me, and cc’d the whole world to that e-mail, and it is more than anything else about the fact that I was OK with it. My first reaction was to justify myself. I looked for the right emails to prove my point, that I was right. And then I realized how not important it is. So someone was angry - so what?! I just said I am sorry and that's it. So something did not work as well as it should - so what? I did the best I could and it makes me happy. I am happy "to sign my name to it". I'll just learn a few more things for next time. I would be upset if I was doing half ass job, but as long as I kept my integrity, as long as I gave it all, I go to sleep with a clear mind and a happy heart. This is such a huge change from the old me who could not take criticism without holding back tears. And I would have never let a false accusation pass, but now I just don’t care and I think to myself – she understood this way, so it is not important what was the “truth”, they suffered inconvenience and they did a lot of work for nothing, it will be nice to apologize, even if I feel I am in the right. I did a lot of growing up this past year.

I am thankful for this realization of new strength and assertiveness. I am thankful for receiving the chance to try new things, and for the chances to fail and to learn from my mistakes. I am thankful for this opportunity to grow.

Being a Workoholic

Day 126 – I am very happy to report that I did, indeed, went to sleep early. Not as early as I thought, but I was asleep before 11pm. And it is very good I did that. Today I got to work at 6:30am and left at 9:15pm. It is crazy at work for few more days and after the Summit, we will get back to a more normal schedule, but until than we are all doing whatever we can to help. I am taking care of all the visits to our hospital right now. And we have a lot. No one can help me prepare stuff, since everyone is working, so I had to stay late and finish it all, since the first visit tomorrow is early and it’s a very large group. The truth is that I enjoy very much the fast pace, the thinking and the planning and all the busy work as well. It is really fun for me to be overloaded and to have to take care of so many things at once. I like it that before I know it, it is time to eat lunch, and next time I lift my head it is time to go home, I like it much better than slow days that nothing really happen, so I know I have to find a way to incorporate more action into my daily work. But I also know, that I will not allow myself to fall into the trap. I had to live in that environment for too many years, so I know its destructive power, I know how addicting it is and I just refuse to budge. I refuse to play that game. I want my life to be full of many things and not only work. I don’t touch emails on the weekend and rarely at home in the evenings, only with a very good reason. I am happy I was exposed to that and thus learned from it without having to pay for it with everything dear to me. I made a resolution that I will never put work before the people that are really important to me, before activities that are as well. And I promised that I will not work on weekend only on very specific occasions, and if these occasions are starting to look too much like a routine, then I have to re-evaluate what I am doing. I am determined to stay this way.

I am thankful I could learn, second hand, what the price of addiction is, and that I didn’t have to be the addict myself. I am thankful that I am in a position (and the wisdom) to decide not to become an addict. I am thankful for a very busy week, that was very enjoyable and very intense, but on the same time, I am very happy it is not like that every day but very seldom. I am happy I can go to sleep now, not as early as yesterday, but still, I’ll make it to bed before midnight, since I have another day like that tomorrow. 

Early Bed Time

Day 125 – I wake up every morning very early, and being a late owl, I also go to sleep very late. So I am always sleep deprived. Problem is that once the clock hits midnight, I get a second wind, in the last few nights I didn’t go to sleep before 2am every night. This evening after a very long and hectic day at work we went out to see an apartment (not a good one, needs a lot of TLC which is OK if I buy it but not as a rental), we decided not to go out to a café as we often do, but instead go back home and try to make it to bed by 10pm. Not sure it will be that early, I am still writing and I still have to take a shower, but it will be very early, no matter what. We might still watch a movie before going to sleep or we might crash while watching it, but it is so nice to have a very relaxed and chill evening after such a feverish day. Don’t get me wrong, I love that pace. I like it so much more then when things are slow. The days go by so fast, and I like the challenge. But I don’t want every day to be like that. I don’t want to become an “adrenaline junky”.  And I want to have a life that is not only work, and days like that don’t leave room for much else. So here I am done writing at 9:50 pm and who knows, maybe in 20 minutes I’ll be asleep…
I am thankful for a very interesting day at work today, very busy but also very interesting. I am thankful that I also have days that are not like that. I am thankful I can switch between the two and enjoy both worlds. I am thankful for the promise of early bed time. I’ll report tomorrow if it actually happened.   

At the End of the Rainbow

Day 124 – as usual, after a busy weekend, it is good to have a little quieter day, just worked nothing else. And work, even if busy is not as tiring as a day full of hiking in the sun, even though, I have to admit, it is also not as much fun. But as usual, the ebbs and flows of life are what make it so exciting. We are all thrilled when it is all fun, or rosy, or any other kind of “high” feeling and we all dislike or even try to avoid the feeling of the receding tide, of the low, the “falling out” or falling down. I am writing about it every few weeks, since I always come back to that point. If I had a great weekend, the next day or two will feel slow and boring in a way. I am always ready to have more fun and do something, but I think that almost as much I like the slow days. This is what gives color to life. This is what makes the fun days so special. Even an chocolate, if I’ll eat it all the time, I might learn to hate, or at least I won’t fully appreciate it. Scarcity is what makes things shine. Against a very colorful background a flower will not stand out, but put against a little more dull background and it will shine. I am writing it and all these religious figures jump to mind, talking about not living a life of excess. So let me clarify, I think there is a big difference between not living life of excess and abstinence. One suggests moderation, whereas the other suggests self-punishment and I am never against self-flagellation. But I am also not a fan of having too much, of doing too much too big, of excess.  At least as it relates to money and to stuff, I am definitely not, and never will be preaching that. The borders are a little more blurry when it comes to doing things, but the truth is it might be an excess as compared to some of my less active friends, but it’s really not excess. Going for a moderate hike, even once a week is not excessive. Ditto for going skydiving for the first time in my life at the age of 53. Maybe this is the secret to a happy life. Do things that I like, but not overdo it and take the time to enjoy each one of them individually, separate up times from each other and allow each one of them to stand alone, to shine. Reading what I just wrote, it made me realize how good it was that I decided not to go on a two-year vacation somewhere in the world. I will get to enjoy shorter vacations so much more because of their scarcity.
I am thankful to the “down’ time in my week, my month my year that dull some of the color from background so I can re-draw, gives me the opportunity to have such great life. I am thankful to the “up” times, for the color and the joy they bring to my daily life. For the richness and complexion they add. I am thankful for the constant shift between the two stages, and that I am a very healthy person and so I can easily ride both and enjoy both, and now even more so. I am thankful for this realization, and that from now on I will actually wait for the slow days at the end of the rainbow.   

Late Spring Hike

Day 123 - Today I went with my hiking group on a long and a little more challenging trail. It is also late spring by now, and so it was also very hot and we walked most of it in the sun. In 4 hours of hiking we covered only 10 km (6 miles) and we were all very tired. This is not to say anything about how wonderful our day was. There's still a lot of vegetation and as the weather gets hotter we appreciate so much more every shading tree; the landscape was striking at parts and the company was great. By now we are good friends of each other and it is much fun just to do things together and to meet each other and talk while we walk.
After we finished the hike we drove to the house of one of our group members, only few miles away, for a BBQ. We bought meats and salads and drinks and we had a very relaxing afternoon. They have an amazing view of the biggest lake in our country and it’s just the most beautiful view you can possibly have. So we set on their porch and we ate and enjoyed the view and they brought their karaoke machine so we did some singing and later even dancing. It was SO much fun. We stayed there for a few hours and only after sunset we started our way back home. It was such a great day!
I hiked this trail many years ago with my then boyfriend and I still remember that hike fondly. We did the whole length of the trail then, which is more than twice as long, and we did it over two days. This time I did it as a member of a group of singles, all in our 50's and more but still with enough energy and enthuse, and it was still a lot of fun.

I am so thankful for this absolutely wonderful day, for the hike, the BBQ, the dances and the singing. I am thankful for friendships forged on the trails of our beautiful country. I am thankful I still have the energy and the physical ability to hike so much and to try to make up for all the lost hikes during the years. I am thankful that after a week of long hours at the office, I can take my weekend off and forget everything, and just have fun. It is so re-charging.

A Change of Heart

Day 122 – I was very tired when I wrote the original entry and so I opted for an easy subject instead of dealing with my heart's ache. So here I am, coming back to this entry, a day later to make amends. I will leave the original post, but first I will write about the real thing.
May 20th is my son's birthday. He is now 25 years old, and he is a ccross the world from me. He is celebrating it with his friends, as he should, but I was not there even for one moment to hug him. I called, of course, but it is so meaningless. He was in his way to class, and when I called again he was already with his friends at the pub so it was not a place he could talk. It is the first of many birthdays and events I will not be a real part of and it makes me very sad. It is a choise I made to be here and not there, but it really wouldn't make a difference. We are a family split between two continents and we are not even a real family any more, since there is not one home any more and parents as a unit. There is dad and there is mom but there are no parents unit anymore.
So what am I thankful for today? I am thankful it is my son's birthday and he is 25 years old today. I am thankfuk that he seems to be doing so much better in the past few months. I am thankful that he is in college again and working towards his degree. I am thankful I got to spend a few days with his less then two weeks ago, so it feels a little like I took part in his birthday.

and now to the original entry:
Friday is such a wonderful day. It’s the only day I can wake up without an alarm clock; so today I woke up at 11 and it set the tone for the rest of the day. It was relaxed and slow, just the way Friday should be. By the time we went grocery shopping it was almost 2 pm- stores close at 3 on Friday. But it was just enough time to buy some groceries for the weekend, go to the seamstress to hem a pair of new jeans I bought on my trip, and my daughter’s uniform, and to shop some produce from our neighborhood store. And then came the best part, we changed to our bathing suites and drove to the beach. The water was very calm, and the sand very warm and the sky so blue… we put down our beach towels and lie down in the sun, and I told my daughter “how lucky are we to be here”. I really feel that way - that I am so lucky to be here, to enjoy this beautiful country, and these wonderful people, to be able to get to one of the best beaches I know in a matter of minutes. I also realized that I don’t come here often enough. I allow life to get in the way and I will try from now on to be better about it. Even if I come from work too late to tan or to go to the water, I can still walk on the promenade or seat in a café and enjoy the sea. So I am going to step it up a notch and start coming to the beach not only on Fridays. (As usual, by the time I start writing I am dead tired and so my entry today is very short, maybe I should start writing a little earlier and not at 3 in the morning, when I am soo tired. I’ll try that tomorrow to write as soon as I am back from my trip).
But even though I am very tired, I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful I live so close to the sea, so close that I can hop into my car and be there in less than 10 minutes. I am thankful to be here in this wonderful country. I am so lucky that without any plans I just rearrange everything to just stay, I suddenly saw what was hiding from me for so many years. I am so thankful for my daily life here and for the opportunities if has for me. I am thankful for the beach.
  

"Oldies" Music Concert

Day 121 - Today marks the fourth months since I started blogging. Looking back at it, I think it was a great idea. I have to examine every day and find something special; it makes me want to do things, because after a while "I am thankful that nothing happed" becomes old. Plus, part of the deal was that every day I have to write about something different. It keeps me fresh, brings awareness, and so it creates a lot of good. And I truly believe that by thinking good thoughts we create a more positive world for ourselves, we make the world a little better place to live. So I am very happy I came with that idea.
Today at the evening I went with 11 friends from our hiking group to hear a music concert. It was covers for 60/70/80 music. We set there and listen and some of the people even danced, we had wine and some food, we tapped on the table and danced in our chairs; in short, we had a good time. It was in the upper floor of a mall that is not highly used. There is a café there and its owner is the one to organize the evening. There were many people and the atmosphere was nice, the band was very good and the lead singer had a wonderful voice, so I enjoyed it very much. They played until 12:30 am and we stayed even longer before going home. A fun night and something I don’t do very often, so definitely something to be thankful for. My daughter at the same time went to "Student Day" party, and came back even later, at 3:30 am. She had soo much fun. It makes me so happy the city is still alive at the wee hours of the night. tI always bothered me, when we still lived abroad, that at 11pm everything is closed and the streets are deserted. Whereas here the bars are still open, people are still walking the streets, not like in the middle of the day but quite a few people are still out.
I am thankful for a fun feeling night. I am thankful to my friend who found the venue, ordered a great table for us all, and made sure everyone will come. I am thankful for doing something so different in the middle of the week. I am especially thankful that it was today, after a very busy week, so I could slow down and relax. I am thankful for this “oldies” music, it is the music of my youth and I absolutely love it. I am thankful for the energy in this country and for the fun loving people for nights that are filled with laughter.

My Grandmother

Day 120 – May 18^th is a very special date for me. It is my late grandmother’s birthday. As a younger person I use to hear all these grandma jokes and could not understand that. For me she was my most beloved woman in my life, the embodiment of unconditional love. My grandfather was born 4 days later, on May 22^nd of the same year 1905. My parents separated when I was a baby so my grandparents took a very active role in raising me.  So many of my childhood memories have to do with them, their house was my safe heaven, my fortress, my castle, but especially a place made of dreams, a place that I find it almost hard to believe could really exist. I could do there whatever I wanted, everything was game, as if its sole existence was for my pleasure. She was born in Sumatra, Indonesia to a German father and a Japanese mother. She grew up in ranches surrounded by jungles and away from children, she had animals and plants for friends and they stay her friends for life. After she met my grandfather they decided to move out of Germany and immigrated here, and so they spared themselves the horrors of WWII. And they built

She got seriously injured in a terrorist attack when she was 50 years old, an attack that almost claimed her life and left her with some disabilities she had to fight for the rest of her life. This happened only three years before I was born, but this is how I always knew her with one leg shorter than the other, limping and as she got older it bothered her more, though she never complained. Only now I understand how much she was probably still struggling with the effects of the injuries, and how much she never ever complained. She just took it in her stoic attitude and kept being such an amazing woman. I loved everything about their house, I would play dress-ups for hours with all her fancy dresses and jewelry, and I’d play in their huge yard that when I was little still housed many chickens, and rabbits, and exotic fruits that could be found nowhere else in our country. She cooked for me all the foods I liked best, she’d play tea party with me. There are no words that can properly describe her and I’m still thinking of her with so much love after so many years.

I am so thankful that I had such an amazing grandma. I am thankful to have someone who bestowed so much love on me and taught me how to really love a child. I feel I was blessed to have her as my grandma.

House Hunting

Day 119 – Our apartment is too small and too old to work for us, I said it several times already. We still have more than three months on our contract, but every few days I search again to see if something interesting is up for rent. I love the location I have right now. It’s perfect - very close to everything and yet a very quiet street with very little traffic. And I would like to find something similar, just bigger and more updated. This is a lot to ask and so there are not many apartments that fit the scrutinizing search. Today I decided not to be such a picky one and broaden the search a little. I set 4 appointments and we went to see them all this evening. (I love the fact that I can come and look at an apartment at 9:30pm!!). one got the top spot as “the worst apartment we’ve ever seen”, two were bad but not terrible and one was nice but we didn’t fall in love with it. So after some consideration and the less than perfect location we decided not to take that one as well. If in two months I still won’t find anything I might be less picky, but right now I still have time so I can wait for the right apartment to come by, I still have time before I have to compromise. So we came to few very important realizations

-          location is very, very important to us

-          we are ready to rethink it only for an amazing apartment elsewhere

So back to the search, just a little smarter. But this is actually why I wanted to start looking at the first place to get a feel for the market, to understand what is available and at what price range, and to set my priorities right.

Last year when I rented this place I didn’t have time to look much, not a car to drive all over the city, and very little money so I had to go for cheap and with that I got the too small and not in best of shape. I also didn’t know the city very well so I didn’t really know what is the right location for me, what are my needs etc. Now I know that. I can’t believe it is already 9 months since I moved into this apartment, almost 10 months since I moved back to my homeland.

I am thankful for the little things I learn about myself every single day, even if it is only understanding my priorities, to learn what is actually important for me on one more aspect of my life. I am thankful for having a car today so I can see 4 apartments in two very distant sides of town in such a short time. I am thankful for not having to take the first apartment I see, but for the luxury to choose. I am thankful I am working now and so I can afford a better apartment than I did last year. I am thankful most of all that after 10 months here I don’t even hesitate about committing for another year, for the fact that it feels like home, that I am here to stay.