Making Mistakes

Day 127 - I had to organize a lot of things under pressure, and it was the first time I did it all alone. It was also the first time I did it in 5 months, so it was a learning experience. I made some mistakes and two people got upset that i scheduled something with them for the group and never showed-up. I am not going to get into the argument whether it was accurate or not, because this is not what I want to talk about today. It was the fact that I did something and it was presented as not a perfect? It is about the fact that these two individuals got upset and lashed at me, and cc’d the whole world to that e-mail, and it is more than anything else about the fact that I was OK with it. My first reaction was to justify myself. I looked for the right emails to prove my point, that I was right. And then I realized how not important it is. So someone was angry - so what?! I just said I am sorry and that's it. So something did not work as well as it should - so what? I did the best I could and it makes me happy. I am happy "to sign my name to it". I'll just learn a few more things for next time. I would be upset if I was doing half ass job, but as long as I kept my integrity, as long as I gave it all, I go to sleep with a clear mind and a happy heart. This is such a huge change from the old me who could not take criticism without holding back tears. And I would have never let a false accusation pass, but now I just don’t care and I think to myself – she understood this way, so it is not important what was the “truth”, they suffered inconvenience and they did a lot of work for nothing, it will be nice to apologize, even if I feel I am in the right. I did a lot of growing up this past year.

I am thankful for this realization of new strength and assertiveness. I am thankful for receiving the chance to try new things, and for the chances to fail and to learn from my mistakes. I am thankful for this opportunity to grow.