Dancing to My Own Beat

Day 400 – few minutes before midnight and I still have to take a shower. I’m in danger again of turning into a pumpkin. I guess I am lucky to be the real thing. No masks, even though it’s hard sometimes, no lies, no pretending to be someone else, no fancy dresses to cover the emptiness inside. I am blazing my own path, dancing to the beat of my own drum. And I love it. For too long I tried to be what others were expecting me to be, ignoring what was good for me. Coming here and being alone enabled me to start looking inside and asking the real questions; and slowly answers are starting to form. It will probably take me the rest of my life, but I am patient and what’s really important is the path; all our lives we are on the path. To reach the pinnacle, to see the light is something very temporary, a fleeting moment. The truth has a way of hiding itself, and so we are always one the road, always searching and the answers change as we do. But being on that road has a very cleansing effect on the soul. Today I just worked and wrote a sweet little piece for my creative class, and cleaned my house; nothing to write home about, but I am satisfied and at peace. I am living my life, doing my things and I am doing it if and when and how I wish. I don’t take this for granted. I know it was not always like that. 
    

I am thankful for the serenity I feel tonight. I am thankful for all the blessings in my life; I am thankful for less than perfect things as well, for the challenges I face; without them I would never be able to fully appreciate the good times, my good fortunes, my life.