Friday Night at Home

Day 388 – It’s Friday night and I am home alone. I cleaned the whole house, while listening to some of my favorite music; I was reading before and knitting a sweater for my little granddaughter, a relaxed evening. A thought crossed my mind earlier about being alone at home on a Friday night and I decided to dismiss it. I am fine being alone, and  I need some down time; I am running all the time during the week, between work and all my classes and I really need time just to sit and do nothing, enjoy down time, recharge.  And after such a nice Friday I will have more energy to tackle my Cambodia project, maybe even have some time to touch on my creative writing assignment, and I am not even making plans for my book. I wanted to finish writing it by next week, my birthday, but this is not going to happened; I didn’t touch it in a month. I have too much on my plate right now and I keep playing catch-up. I think it will stay in that level until I’ll finish my tour guides class, sometimes in the summer. And this is when I am not dating and not going on too many hiking trips. I have no plans of not dating or not going on hiking trips so at some point my days will become even more packed. But I will also be happier so it’s totally worth it. I’ll just keep it more balanced; I’ll go hiking every other weekend unlike last year. And as to dating – nothing in the horizon right now and I don’t believe I am ready yet, recovery is still a work in progress. I keep asking myself do I fill my days in order not to feel. I don’t think so but it is a blessing for me right now; it keeps me busy with not enough time to realize how much I miss having a loving man in my life, a man I will love as well. It helps me move from one day to the next when my heart is still bleeding, when I am still in so much pain.

 

I am thankful for very quiet evening at home. I am thankful for going to sleep without an alarm clock and waking up late tomorrow. I am thankful for the opportunity to catch up on some of my work. I am thankful for a clean home – always something to be thankful for, since I don’t have time to do it during the week and I has to wait for the weekend.