More lessons

Day 863 - they say that life gives us the lessons we need to learn; that if we won't they will become more difficult and painful. For the second day in a row I am served a spoonful of conflicts. Another lesson in setting boundaries; in learning to distinguish between import and and less; between what one can try to convince me to do and defining my own needs. Learning this intricate dance of "we" that I'm not very good at. This time it's my boyfriend and again I feel like being pushed into a corner I have no intention of occupying. A lesson I need to learn and internalize. Or I will get more of that, for sure. The difference is that yesterday I could see her point and know that from her own perspective she is right; I could see myself agree with it and do what she rightfully wanted. Today's argument I have no intention of giving in. I can't, for the life of me, agree with his opinion. I know it's how he feels, but I am not going to accept what he is suggesting. It feels too much like he is trying to force his opinions on me. The funny thing is that here I can see more the "we" and what I have to do for that; it's just that I'm not sure I want to at the moment. Maybe because a relationship between two strangers is always in question the "we" plays more of a role. With my daughter, no matter how hard we fight, at the end we'll always be together as a unit of mother-daughter; it's a bond that cannot be broken. I am going to sleep for the second day with a heavy heart; who said life is always easy and fun. The more you love, the more you're hurt.

I am thankful for being able again, to think and see; for being able to break the pattern and widen my horizon. I am thankful for lessons life is serving me; I know, looking back I will be thankful for every difficult moment. I am thankful I am hurt because it means I love enough and care enough for things like these to hurt me. I am thankful tomorrow is a new day and it might be better and easier.