Pressure release

Day 898 - After very trying two months my daughter moved out today. As bad as it sounds it is a pressure release. At least she is out of this mad house. He found a place but can move there only in three weeks so I'm glad she is not here and doesn't have to be around him any more. It was a very difficult weekend and two hours after I brought her to the train station I cannot get to my normal self. I know it is only for a month, I know he is moving out and she'll be back home but I feel horrible and I know I should have handled it differently. It was a big mistake to let it drag for so long when I saw things are getting out of control; I should have asked him earlier to move out. My daughter should never feel uncomfortable in my house and if my partner cannot accept her then he cannot be here, if in my life at all. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I didn't see it coming. He was nice and all as long as she just came for visits; and even when the first squeaks started it was over minor stuff so I was sure it will be OK. Maybe it is my naive look at life, my wish that all will work just the way it should that made me blind for so long. But here I am right now sitting home and trying to tie up again the loose ends of my life. I have a partner I love very much but he created a situation I cannot  and will not accept. So he is moving out and probably out of my life as well. I cannot see a scenario in which this separation he is trying to create is going to work. Right now at least it looks like he does not want anything to do with the most important part of my life - my family; and this is something that I don't think I can bridge. Sad, very sad indeed but it looks like we are heading south after all, slowly but surely. A sad day all around, what else can I say...

So what can I be thankful for? I am thankful that this mess is almost over. I am thankful that my daughter is out of this mad house and by the time she'll be back it will be peaceful again. I am thankful we talked it over and with all the friction this ordeal put between us, I believe we'll get out of it stronger and better. And even though it is painful to see how yet another relationship is going down the drain, I am thankful it happened now and not after few years together.