The day after the storm

Day 912 - the day after. What do you do when you still share the same house? when the last thing I want is a day of fights or ignoring each other? I chose to leave the house and spend the day elsewhere. It was also the last day of the art show and I was planning to come and see it one more time and since my daughter and my ex where in town, we set to meet there and spend the day together. For eight months I could not even talk to my ex due to jealously bursts. I knew it bothered my partner and so I avoided doing that. But I think it's not right. True, we are not together anymore but he was my friend for so many years, so I deeply care about him. But I could understand it's a very sensitive issue and I agreed to that. It was nice seeing him again after such a long time, and we had a good time, the three of us together. Later we went to mutual friends that I didn't see since we separated since they are his friends and I didn't want to get in the way. But it was nice to see them after such a long time and we spend a lovely afternoon. I was so happy to be away from all the pressure and the mess in my life at the moment. I came back to yet another fight but I was charged with good energy and more immune to that. I am sad to see it go down the drain, I had so many dreams and plans; but I was avoiding the real issues, overlooking areas of great difficulties; allowing the walls to close on me with no alarm bells to warn me that I am doing that. As much as I love him, it is time to let go and start the process of grieving and later healing. The gap is so huge, there's no way to bridge it and today proved it to me even more. This is the right company for me, these are the kind of people I enjoy having around; these are the people I avoided because he didn't fit in. Well, now I don't have to worry about it anymore.
 
I am thankful for a day that had all the ingredients to be awful and was wonderful. I am thankful for laughter and fun. I am thankful to friends who did not raise an eye brow to see me after such a long time and welcomed me to their midst. I am thankful most of all to my daughter and my ex for being so wonderful and helped me on such a difficult day.