I am Kneeling Before Thee

Day 254 – it’s the first day of the New Year today. I was talking with my daughter and like so many times we went back to those horrific days before, during and after her anaphylactic shocks from the hair dye. It is and probably will always be a very traumatic experience for both of us. She witnessed it on her body and I was the mom who saw her daughter slipping away and could do nothing to save her but franticly call the doctors and hope they can do what it takes to  save her life. About an hour later it suddenly donned on me – I never even thanked Him for her being alive today!
It is the first day of the New Year and in the Jewish tradition, it is time of reflection, time of assessment and I just knew it. I never thanked Him for her life. I am not a religious person. I never go to synagogues nor pray, but I know that without a divine intervention I would not have my daughter here with me today. I am still crying now, hours later, with this new and so striking realization. How close we were to that point of no return. If anything would have happened to her, I am not sureI will still be around, I think my heart would break from sorrow. But He chose to bring her back from the brink of death and for that I am eternally grateful, I don’t think I will ever be able to pay it back.

I am thankful beyond words for my daughter’s life, for divine intervention, for miracles I took for granted, or at least was not thankful enough for them. I am thankful for this year that started in so much pain and ended on such sweet and promising notes. I am thankful for life spared.

I am kneeling before Thee in gratitude.