Day 280 – I like reading Buddhism stuff. Their ideas are so logical yet so different than our own. Take for example something like attachment. Even to understand the idea is not easy. How can you do something and not be attached to the outcome? How can you want something but be ok if you don’t get it, be content just as well? It is a practice of letting go of control, a practice of acceptance. In our goal oriented society, in such a materialistic world this philosophy is so foreign. And I am really trying to cultivate this idea. There are things I think I lost forever and I am trying to be ok with it. I am trying to tell myself that my wanting is good enough and being attached to the outcome is already being possessive. I am trying to cultivate in me this feeling of deep satisfaction just for seeing it, knowing of its existence and not from “owning” it. Still not there, I have to admit, but I hope with time I will learn the art of letting go. This is how you love a butterfly. You hold it for a short moment in your hands and then you let it go, and just enjoy the beauty that will be crushed if you keep it. I believe it is the same with people. You never hold on to them, you have to let your love ones be free, so they can shine. You just hold them tight for one moment and then you let them go, and hope they will come to rest on your open palm every once in a while. I have to admit that I much prefer holding them in a tight embrace, but sometimes it is just not realistic. And so we can find some solace in this wise philosophy of letting go. This is easier said than done, but worthy goal.
I am thankful for life trials that give me the opportunity to practice un-attachment. I am thankful for the little moments of sheer happiness when the butterfly is still in my hand. I am thankful I can practice the letting go; at least I can enjoy its beauty from afar.
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