The Still after the Storm

Day 258 – After a very stressful evening yesterday we had an uneventful night. I woke up this morning very early and saw my daughter sleeping and so beautiful and relaxed in her sleep. There was nothing more I could ask for. I was so thankful for this serene scene. She got few days off from the army to recover and get better. Unfortunately, I had an event today at work that I could not miss and there was no one who could replace me. And so, reluctantly, I had to go to work today and leave my daughter home alone all day, praying she will be fine. I knew it will be a very long day, and so it was, I only finished it 12 hours after getting to work and I was busy the whole time. Every hour I called home just to talk to my daughter for a few minutes to make sure she is doing fine and really trying to believe that the worst was behind us, hoping not to be found wrong. At 6:30pm I finally finished and drove as fast as I could back home; it was one of the longest days of my life. But at home I found my daughter safe and sound, still trying to digest the events of the last few days, but without any new symptoms, which makes us even more assured that this one passed as only a minor incident and will not develop any further. Her situation right now is not very bright. We don’t know what or where the next allergy will come from. It was easy to handle when it was hair dye and later certain fabric dyes and make up and facial creams and sun screens… but now it’s also food and the question is how do we know if something is safe or not. The fact that she ate it before is not an indication, she also drank ouzo in the past with no reaction. So I am sure we will find a way to make her environment feel safer for her, but right now it doesn’t and that’s something very difficult to deal with. So this is not a very happy entry, we did, after all just went through a very scary event, but I know we will get better with every day.

I am thankful that this long and stressful day is behind me and I came back to find my daughter safe and healthy at home.  And I am thankful, beyond words, for being able to count these worries as my biggest worries right now and not if she will make it through the night, as was the case 10 months ago. I am thankful it was a strong allergic reaction, but one that could be stopped with antihistamines and steroids, it is something very important for us to know at this junction when all is still so raw and painful, not every allergic reaction will take her to the edge, not every reaction will get totally out of control.