Cease fire

Day 892 - so the compromise is that he will not live with us any more and we will try to repair our relationship and see how it works when we are not living under the same roof. It will be challenging for sure, but I believe it is the best solution under the circumstances. I am taking responsibility for my share, for taking things for granted, for not setting expectations and I am sure that it could have worked better had I done that. I do not take responsibility for his behavior, for his lack of efforts, for stubbornness of a two years old and not an adult. Regardless the end results were the same - everyone got hurt and everyone feels wronged. It is the easiest thing to look back and say "I wish things were different" but they are not and this is the reality we are facing. In a way I think it is a good thing. It gives me some needed space, it forces both of us to make an extra effort and not take anything for granted; it makes our time together more meaningful and our time apart more meaningful and it enables me to spend time with my daughter, just the two of us; to remove the walls that grew between us in the past few months. So he is looking for a place to rent, and will move in the next two or three weeks the most. And this house will be way too big just for us girls, so for sure I will not keep it for the second year. I was very sad before since I really love him and it looked like we came to a point of no return. But when you care enough about someone you'll find a way to try to make it work; or at least to give it more of a try.
 
I am thankful we managed to come back from the brink of a break-up and decided to try to salvage our relationship. I am thankful for the second chance we got. I am thankful he will be out of here soon and the the peace that will be restored in our house. I am thankful for a day that came to its end, for few new shirts I bought; for the sleep awaiting for me as soon as I am done here.