Sad, sad, sad...

Day 890 - Nothing to report. My days are long and heavy. Usually when you break up with a partner they are just out of your life in a second which makes it easier. You can start the grieving process, you can start the healing. But when you live with someone it's more difficult of course. The partner that leaves the house has to find a new place. It happened when I left home three years ago  and it made for a very difficult period when we tip-toed around each other, not talking about the big elephant in the middle; and it was not easy for both of us; and it happens again now. I keep reminding myself to stay compassionate and caring even as things get more problematic; as my patience is tested. It is very difficult for my daughter but she is leaving next week for a month and a half and by the time she's back he'll be gone. I hope he'll move out as soon as possible, as much as it hurts to see a relationship break down, when it does you just want it to be over and not drag on and on. I need my space and I need alone time. I need to find myself once again after the very intense past few weeks. I know I will be very sad, it'll breaks my heart to see him leave but it's inevitable by now. I am sad, I walk around with very heavy feelings; I wish things were different, I wish we didn't get to this point. Only few weeks ago we were still making very long term plans...
 
I am thankful for my day is over. I am thankful I can go to sleep. I am thankful for beautiful days, for the sun that shines on me even now, through all this; showing me the light, the hope. I am thankful for tomorrow, I sure don't take it for granted.