Inner Strength

Day 61 - my oldest daughter sent me an email today to inform me that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. That she doesn't want me to be present at the birth of her daughter (my fist granddaughter), or to come visit after that. It felt like someone stabbed me. and the worst thing is that I have no idea why. This is a very hard lesson in love and let go. but i think I am in a stage in my life where I can actually do that.

I have no control over the situation the only thing I can control is my reaction. and I will not stop loving her just because she resent me now. I will stay true to my feelings to her and I will try to let her know how much I love her, even in the face of rejection and even when she tries to hurt as she can. I am not playing the victim, since I am not. I just refuse to play. period. but it is a very sad day for me.

So what can I be thankful for in such a day? I am thankful that she is healthy and doing well. I am thankful that I can love her, no one can take that away from me. And I am thankful that in the past few months I acquired enough skills to be able to deal with crisis like that and not brake down. I was able to go through a full day of work and activities and enjoy it all even after I read that email. I am so much stronger than I was only half a year ago and I am so thankful for that.