An Art Fair

Day 438 – My daughter didn’t feel so well this weekend so we didn’t do much, a quiet day. And then in early afternoon I got a call from a friend that in a town not far from us there is a very nice, weekend long art fair; so we decided to go. It was lovely, even though we got the end tail of it, but we saw some nice things there. I keep thinking I should move to this little town because it’s so lovely and this show just made me want to do it even more. There is something fresh and lively and the feeling of small town I so miss here. I am at the core a country girl, I need a house and not an apartment, I need to have some land around, to plant trees and herbs and flowers. So I think I’ll start looking into this possibility as my lease here comes to an end.
After we were done with the festival we went to one of my best friends who lives there in the same town (this how I know for years how much I like the place) and we had a wonderful afternoon. I was so happy we decided to get out of the house and have some fun. You don’t get any sicker and it actually takes your mind off that.

I am thankful to my friend who called me and made me want to get out of the house. I am thankful for a lovely afternoon of roaming through galleries and stalls full of art and crafts; it is always fascinating to see how creative people can be. I am thankful for a wonderful afternoon I got to spend with my best friend and for a very long heart to heart talk we had. 

Field Trip

Day 437 – we had a field trip today with my Tour Guides class. It was a whole day trip 7am to 7pm; we went to many different sites and each one of us was responsible for a 5 minutes of instruction in front of the class about the different places we visited or passed on the way. It was a very enjoyable day. Some of the places I never visited so I was very happy about that even if due to the time constrains I didn’t get to see much. at least I know where I want to go back. I also enjoyed it since you learn a lot more in a guided tour. I visited one of the places only few months ago when my son was here, but I didn’t know even quarter of the things I learn today, and it brings the visit to a new level. I can actually notice and enjoy things I didn’t even know were there. It was a great day weather wise, and when the forecast was for a rainy day it is even more appreciated. It would make for a very different experience had it rained.

  

I am thankful for a wonderful day of touring in my own country. I am thankful to be introduced to so many new places, to learn so many new things. I am thankful to my peers for a wonderful and very pleasant experience; I know many of them were very stressed about standing in front of a group and talk but it didn’t trickle down to their behavior during the trip. It was light, it was fun and we all really enjoyed each other’s company. I am thankful to our course leader who made sure we won’t miss a thing and gave us a perfect example of how to be a tour guide.

Thursday is Painting Class Day

Day 436 – As you already know this is my favorite day of the week; my painting class day. And I am getting more and more into that; by now I feel comfortable with it and the little moment of hesitation before I touch the white new canvas with my brush is getting significantly shorter. 
I saw a photo few days ago in one of my colleagues’ office. A beautiful photo of trees and sun rays that shine through them, a fleeting moment, almost magical captured for eternity. I asked her permission and took a picture of it and for a whole week I was looking at it feeling it and slowly developing the idea how to go about painting it. And today I started working on it; of course it is only the influence not dot to dot; I don’t like to just copy. I just needed the rough idea and the atmosphere and I think I captured that. I also have a much brighter picture and the color palate is different. But I enjoyed painting this picture so much and I even though it is not done yet, I am posting it here. I like it so much already.
And the rest of the story happens at home, every week another picture goes on my wall; this is such a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by my art work. My walls are slowly filling with my works. Paintings as well as photos I took on my trips. Now I have a few more I want to print. I find it very interesting that for years I felt I have an artist locked inside me but I was unable to get it out and now it’s just the opposite,  it's flowing, even bursting out - I take beautiful photos, I write poetry and prose and mostly I draw and now I paint as well and I love, love it so much! I love all those forms of expression, it’s what makes me whole.

 

I am thankful for one more painting class; it is not done yet but good enough to post right now; I’ll post it again upon its completion. I am thankful for the beautiful picture I saw that was the inspiration for this painting; I feel richer for seeing that. I am thankful I was able to capture the moment on canvas, that I was able to capture the celebration of life yet created some tranquility, a little magical, just like the original. I am thankful for this gift; I cannot get over this feeling of how lucky I am to have found the artist within me. I am thankful beyond words for the happiness this class brings to my life; for the happiness that the artist in me brings out.

In Search of Some Important Documents...

Day 435 – I finally decided after almost two years since I left home to finalize my divorce and not leave it in the realm of half-baked cake. And since I am not going to change my mind about not living with my ex-husband ever again, I don’t see a reason to stay married, even if we are legally separated. It sends the wrong message and for no reason, it feels wrong. In short, I decided that next time my ex coming to visit here we we’ll finalize the divorce. So I started to check about the procedure and I found out I need my marriage certificate. I started looking for it where I thought I left it but it’s not there. I looked everywhere and could not find it. so I started opening the last few boxes I still kept and I found a lot of cools stuff but not the documents I was looking for. I am now 4 hours later, I searched everywhere and I still cannot find it. I will have to get a copy of that – I’ll call tomorrow and check about it; but I have a house that is a little more organized and I have fewer boxes than before. I got rid of 2 boxes and put 3 out of the way. That is the reason they always say you have to believe in a higher plan I was looking for a piece of paper and I ended up “cleaning” a whole lot of paper and the whole house. How wonderful!!

  

I am thankful I am finally ready to admit that there is no going back, that I am going forward and decided to finalize my divorce. I am thankful that I got rid of so many boxes and so much paper today; so I guess I am thankful for misplacing my legal documents for that. I am thankful I can finally go to sleep. It’s almost 3 am here – way too late!!

Tomorrow

Day 434 – He’s coming back tomorrow! After two weeks we’ll finally see each other again. I have to admit I am very stressed about it. We know each other for such a short time that I don’t know if our budding relationship can withstand that long of a separation.  I know my feelings didn’t change but I would not know about him until we meet. I’ve never been in a situation like that so I have no map. I’ll just have to trust my gut feelings and to pray. I so want it to be ok, more than OK, I want it to be amazing, to be the love of my life…

I was looking for things to do this evening to pass the time fast. So I cooked and then I cleaned my house. And now I am ready to go to bed. I hope I am tired enough to fall asleep. The whole day today I was thinking of him. I can’t wait to see him. I feel like a teenager, but it’s OK, he’s totally worth it!

Regardless of what the outcome of our meeting tomorrow will be, I am thankful we met, thankful we fell for each other right away. I am so thankful for feelings I didn’t experience for years; and I hope and pray that things will turn out even better than I expect.

The Truth About "An Inconvenient Truth"

Day 433 – It’s Monday, my Tour Guides class and we had a wonderful class today. We started our geology and geography section. And it was such a great class. I love geology and I thought I know the basic stuff but I learned a lot of new things and we had a wonderful teacher so now I actually understand the movement of the tectonic plates and the work of hot spots in a whole new way. Some find it boring, for me it’s fascinating and I set for four hours in rapt attention swallowing every bit of information. We learned about old oceans and new, about the direction it’s all going, about new oceans in formations and continents that are breaking; an ocean that is shrinking and an ocean that is expanding. We learned that all the green talk about “An Inconvenient Truth” is what I long argue but didn’t have the tools – a fancy deceit, and not true; that political and social powers are using it to drive their agenda. That we already experienced 3 ice ages in the past 100,000 years and a warmer period in between. That these ice ages were here on earth even with no industry and no cars so the CO2 emission of these sources cannot be blamed for that. I know this is something many people by now are taking as a simple truth and will strongly argue against what I am writing here, but I am very happy she said all that. it doesn’t mean we don’t have to keep our house clean and tidy up but we should do it for the right reasons, that it is our house and we want to keep it clean and pleasant. In short a very, very interesting and thought provoking class.

   

I am thankful for such an interesting class. I am thankful we had an instructor that dared to be provocative and different, that she did not hesitate to express her opinions. I am thankful I decided to take this course, so many gift are coming my way for that. 

Writing Poetry

Day 432 – In the past few days I started writing poetry again. All is the good influence of the same wonderful man I always talk about. He writes poetry and after reading several of his poems, it made me want to try my hand again in this medium. I didn’t write any poetry for years and I am very rusty of course. But looking at the bright side - for the past 20 some years I didn’t write anything, so as rusty as it is and as crude as it is I am so happy to be able to connect the dots in this very special way again. This is the explanation I guess to the burst of poetry at the foot of the Parthenon. I cannot publish it here, it is written in my native language and not in English, and it’s way too personal anyway. But I am happy, so happy for finding my own voice again.

   

I am so thankful I started writing poetry after so many years of silence; I hope that with practice, my writings will get better. I am thankful to the man in my life for inspiring me to go in that direction. I am thankful for all the beautiful pieces he wrote and shared with me. I am thankful to the Great Creator for this gift of writing.

Talk, Talk,Talk...

Day 431 – I had a wonderful weekend with my parents. At last we came to a point where we can actually talk about things that matter and not stay on the surface. I love to convert friendships to something more meaningful I love making it personal, very personal. And with time I see that most people appreciate that, they just don’t’ know how to cross the barrier of pleasantries and casual conversations. I barely have friendships like that anymore – I don’t see the point of it. If we cannot make it meaningful, then why waste the little time we have. I am not looking for something just to pass my time. it is always an alternative to something else I can do, so it better be worth it. Not interested in talks between masks, I want to deal with the real person, with feelings, wants, hurts; this is where the connections between souls are being made. So I had a long and very meaningful talk with my parents, mostly they wanted to understand my life and to express their legitimate concern about me still being single after almost two years. the important of a partner and the compromises one should be able to make in order to be in a relationship. I see their point and I understand it. I also explained mine – that in order for it to stick I need someone that I will be happier to be with him than to be alone; that us combined are more than one plus one – that our connection will create something bigger than each one alone. In short, it was a very interesting and heart felt conversation.
While driving back home I had an almost hour long conversation with a distant relative; a woman I knew for many years and always liked, but we never met just the two of us so we never actually had an opportunity to a deep and meaningful talk and I guess I caught her on the right time and she just opened up and we had an amazing talk and I am sure from now on our friendship will become much stronger and so much more meaningful.
And since I felt so good already upon arriving to my home city, I decided to go and visit my mother-in-law. She doesn’t feel good lately and I am the only person she actually opens up to and can talk about being alone and sad and anything else. She knows that and I do as well, that from all her friends and children and anyone else in her life I am the only one who can ask her the real questions and get honest answers. So I am doing my best to visit her once a week or lately a little less since I was so absorbed with my new love and my trip. But I am so happy I did go and I think I made some serious ways with her today – I’ll talk about it next week if it will actually holds water. In short a very fruitful day; lots of talks…

  

I am thankful I am developing the ability to open up to people and to help them open up to me. I used to be really bad at that and it makes me so thankful to see how I changed, how I stretch my muscles and learn this very important skill. I am thankful for all these wonderful people who agree to trust me and include me in this sacred circle of trust; I will never betray that. I am thankful I had the idea to visit my mother in law; she really needed this cheering up. I am thankful, like every night to the power of technology that enables me to cross continents for half an hour and be with my boyfriend when he is away, it makes the distant so much easier, so much more bearable. I am thankful to him for finding the time and the will to call even when he is so tired and so sick, just to be with me for a while; I sure don’t take it for granted and I am very thankful for that.

Living Conscious Life

Day 430 – I drove today my daughter to her kibbutz and then I drove all the way to the south to visit my parents, it was almost the whole length of my country. And it made me realize a very important thing. Our country is so beautiful and everything is in bloom. There were just as many flowers as I saw in Greece. And our one mountain that is covered with snow was overlooking the very green valley below. In short a perfect picture that is no less pretty than some of the sites I saw. But I did not pull out my camera to take a picture of this beauty, even though I thought I should. And it made me realize that I am taking things for granted here, I lost the fresh look at my country; and it made me sad. I had to travel to Greece to get that fresh look again. If we think about it in a little broader scope – we have the tendency to take what we have for granted. Be it the things we own, the experiences we go through and too many times we even take for granted the important people in our lives. We fail to see how special they are, how lucky we are to have them, to know them; we fail to tell them we love them and how blessed we are.  This is what caused so many marriages to fail, so many friendships to brake.

How do we prevent that, this is my question of the day. Right now I can see that my boyfriend is the most perfect man on earth, but how do I make sure I’ll see that in a few months, in a few years? I am divorced, so it happened before; I have a reason to be concerned. Or maybe, I am trying to tell myself, it doesn’t have to be that way – I never fail to see how wonderful my kids are, so why would I not see him as well? So, since we, as limited people, can’t keep everything on high alert, maybe it is an unconscious choice we make, what do we want to keep alive and fresh and always be thankful for and what we can let go? Maybe the answer is simply in our priorities, in the choices we make. And the more aware we are to these choices, the more things we can bring to the foreground and make them count. Keep them on our priority list and tend to them as much as needed to make sure they are what we want them to be – very meaningful people in our lives. We have to practice conscious living. To be in the moment and to be thankful for everything we got. I started this blog for that very reason and now I want to extend it. I am going to make sure I’ll never take things that are important to me and even more so people that are dear to me for granted. I’ll be thankful for having them in my life every single day.  

  

I am thankful for a long drive with my daughter that enabled us to spend 3 more hours together; I sure don’t take that for granted and appreciate it so much. I am thankful I got to visit my parents one more time and to find them in good health; at their age I cannot take that for granted, I cannot take them. I am thankful I got to see my dog after a few weeks she is here; I have to admit, she looks very happy and she didn’t pay much attention to me so I guess she is in good hands here; I know it was the right thing for her. I am so thankful I got to talk to my boyfriend on Skype for a while before they turn off the electricity for the night in the place where he is right now; today I am all excited just to be able to talk to him for a few minutes, after a week and a half I didn’t see him; I will make sure to never take him for granted, always remember how wonderful and special he is; I am thankful every day that he is in my life, that we have met. I am thankful for this commitment to try to live conscious living; I’ll remind myself that all the time. I don’t want ever to take the special people in my life for granted.  

Back at home

Day 429 – I am back home. After the most exciting week in a very long time, I am back to my life and my routine. But before I had to take care of some administrative stuff – like getting a new phone to replace my stolen one; and to get my car back from where it was parked for the past week. And mostly I got to spend some time with my daughter, and I talked to my son on the phone for a very long time; so we actually conferenced both of us girls from here (two separate locations) and him and his girlfriend (again two separate locations) a 4-ways call, and it was so much fun.. Amazing what technology can do. All good stuff and as much as I enjoyed the freedom and the carelessness of life on the road, it’s good to be back. This is where my real life takes place and I love it so much; I will combine both worlds, but I think grounding is really important and this is where mine comes from, my children and now my partner as well. So today I got to place a phone call from Greece this morning, and later was on a 4 ways call to two different states and later on the same evening I got to talk to my boyfriend on Skype from yet another country, another continent.  The tally for today – 4 countries, (5 states) 4 continents and few hours that electricity bombards our brains, but Thanks God for technology; I can’t even grasp life without it anymore. When my phone was stolen, I got a new one right away – I can’t even think of going on the road with one, it feels unsafe…

  

I am thankful to be back home, doing my best to get back with my life. I am thankful to my daughter who had so much patience with me and listened to all my excitement. I am thankful to be in my position to know who I am and not feel the need to show it, just to have it burning inside me. I am thankful I can go to sleep right now, as I am sooo tired.

The Churches that Fell from the Sky - Meteora

Day 428 – I chose to end my trip with the hanging churches of Meteora. I have to say, it was a very good choice. I saw the pictures of Meteora, like many other people, but you have to be there to get the real feeling of these strange and beautiful land. They really look like they feel from the sky, as their name suggests. And it was another beautiful day – 25 degrees in early afternoon. And I just took so many pictures that again, my camera’s battery died on me. It becomes the story of this trip – I guess I really need a second battery if I want to continue this habit of taking SO many pictures. I woke up early to see the sunrise over the cliffs. The hotel manager thought it was at 5 am but it was pitch black. I woke up half an hour later still no sign of dawn and since I didn’t sleep much and kept waking up every hour or so, I decided to give up the sunrise and just go to sleep. and, just as I thought, by the time I finally woke up the sun was up and another balmy day awaited me. I spent the next 5 hours there driving around meeting some very nice people and visiting two of the churches. And it was very moving indeed; a very spiritual visit. The beauty of the place, the tranquility it just gets you. I set there in one of the hanging porches overlooking the valley below in all its spring bloom and in the middle these strange rock formation that the churches are perched on and the magnificent back drop of the bluish mountains covered with snow – a picture right out of a magazine. What can I say – you have to see it. It was totally worth the drive. I could not think of a better way to finish this amazing trip. Now I am already back in Athens, after 5 ½ hours’ drive, packing my things a getting ready to go to sleep. This is the end of my maiden voyage to Greece. I know I’ll be back. I loved everything about it – the people, the landscape the views, the antiques that I did so little of and there’s so much more I have to do, the food, the music and most of all something that has nothing to do with Greece and everything to do with me – the freedom and the empowerment and the understanding that this is the first among many such trips.

  

I am thankful beyond words for a trip that was successful much more than I dared to hope. I am thankful for more gifts than I even thought possible. I am thankful it gave me an opportunity to test myself in so many ways and to realize that I strive in times like that. I love the challenges and little triumphs and I am thankful so thankful for everything that crossed my path this last week; it all contribute to its success. I am thankful to my dear ones who had to endure my overjoy as I described my days. I am thankful, so thankful for this trip.    

A Spiritual Journey

Day 427 – I thought yesterday that I had the best drive ever. Little did I know what awaits me today. I left my hotel with it amazing view and drove towards Delphi, but as I drove through the village it became apparent that this is something right out of a fairytale book. It was so beautiful that I just had to stop at the center in a café overlooking the little harbor. It took me few minutes to decide that this is a journey of self-discovery, it is a spiritual journey and so the antiquities in Delphi are there for more than 2000 years, they will wait for me few more, because I will come back. but here and now I have this wonderful place  on the most perfect day with blue skies, and so warm and sunny and balmy air full of spring blossoms’ fragrances… so I scratched on the spot the Delphi part of my trip and stayed and extra hour in the café looking, taking pictures, reading and then I started my drive towards Meteora. Since I just “gained” two hours of the visit to Delphi, I could stop every few minutes and take pictures from this amazing drive. I will a hard time today deciding about one picture to post here, I already know that. in short I took my time and had the drive of my life – open windows good Greek music, very laud and I accompanied it at the top of my voice and the view… what a ride!!! What takes other people 4 hours took me 6, but I was in no hurry and I enjoyed every minute of that ride, and there was no one with me that I’ll drive nuts with the constant stops and the “O, my God”…

This is a journey I could not make with anyone else, just alone, and I am taking full advantage of it. It is a journey of finding who I am and what I am made of. I am spreading my wings wide, in the past few days, and soaring over everything; taking a new point of view, learning so many important things about myself, about my life, my abilities and limitations. About what I want and what I like. About who I really am. I had a vague idea that this is what I am up to, I didn’t know how it will work out. And it did, more that I even hoped for. And my heart is so full, it is about to burst.

  

I am thankful for an amazing day, for a drive of a lifetime that I can only hope will be surpassed one day. I am thankful for such an amazing week, for such an amazing time. I am thankful to the guy in the restaurant who agreed to sell me home made wine, just because I said it was so good. I am thankful to all the good people I met along the way, who made my trip so special. I am thankful that I finally managed to establish contact on Skype with the dearest man in my life, the day before last on my trip. I am thankful to be in Meteora tonight and ready to start my day at down to see the sun rise over these hanging churches.           

An Amazing Drive

Day 426 – I decided that a stolen iPhone is no reason to ruin my day, but I do need a phone, I was about to go on the road and I feel it is not safe to go without a phone and also I have to be able to be reached in case of emergency. So I bought a new very simple phone and drove out of town towards the Korinthos (Corinth) Canal. I was lucky that a large ship was midway there so I didn’t have to wait. It’s an amazing sight. It almost fills the gap, this is probably the largest size ship that can go through the canal. I am sure that they build tem according to the spec o the canal, just as there are ‘Panama Canal’ size ships. After satisfying my interest, which required a wait of about 45 minutes for the next boat to cross, I started driving along the Korinthus strait towards a little town called Rio that came out of its anonymity about 8 years ago when the construction of the world longest suspended bridge ended and put Rio in the Guinness book of records and on the map. The drive was one of the most beautiful I ever did so it enjoyed it sooo much. the Greek version of blue water, which is just unbelievable, the green vegetation, the beautiful white houses with red rooftops; a drive out of a fairytale book. And the bridge at the end was just the cherry on top. I first saw it and it’s just – “O, my god” kind of a sight. I took many pictures from every angle and then I crossed it back to the mainland in my quest to find a hotel for the night. I found a beautiful one, right on the beach and with a bridge view. What else could I ask for. Just a good night sleep, now is all I still need for a perfect day.

  

I am thankful for my first excursion out of Athens and on my own, it makes me so happy, to do whatever I want, to live life at the moment with no plans, just grab the opportunities as they present themselves.  I am so thankful for one of the most beautiful rides I ever had. I am thankful for such a beautiful day.

A Sour Ending to a Wonderful Day

Day 425 – I set a new personal record – I spent today 8 hours at the acropolis museum and I left because they closed. I could’ve stayed longer. In a day like that I know it’s good I came alone; I can stay as long as I want and not torture someone I love. When I left it was 8PM so I decided to go to a restaurant. I found a nice one with some nice Greek music and good seafood. My boyfriend suggested I’ll try a local wine called Retsina which is white wine infused with Aleppo pine resin., I did and the waiter was very generous in the amount of wine he served me and  the end result was a very happy camper. There were two American girls at the restaurant and they started drumming with the singer and at some point, when the waiter showed them how do dance the Sirtaki, I joined them. It was so much fun!!! I left for my hotel and talked to my daughter on the phone.

When I was done I held the phone to make a second call and someone jumped at me and snatched the phone from my hands! I chased him calling him to give me back my phone and suddenly I realized where I am. I ran through a deserted mall into a deserted ally and it didn’t look good. On my way back through the mall into the main street I look around and suddenly I noticed a few blood drops on the floor and one little puddle. Few more glances and I saw an empty siring and it occurred to me where I am and also that I have all my money on me and true it is not easy to snatch a fanny pack but I can be robbed. I turned around and went back to the street; finally realizing that some of my euphoria is gone, and that there are bad things around me that I chose not to see. I was warned several times to pay attentions, that there are a lot of problems here and I should more careful, that the area I am walking at night all alone is not the best part of town. The first two days I didn’t stay late but the last two I did and I guess I was not careful enough and I should see this as a warning. Just because I don’t want to see things, doesn’t mean they don’t exist, it just means I ignore them but sometime they will catch up with me, like tonight. So sadly, this is how my visit to Athens ends, on a little sour note. Tomorrow I am heading out to see the countryside. I will have to find a solution to the cell phone situation – I cannot be without phone while driving and while I am away from home.

  

I am thankful for a wonderful day of art and music and good food. I am thankful that I got a serious warning sign to be more careful. I am thankful it was only my phone that was stolen. I am thankful I got to make an important phone call today when I still had my phone.   

Overtaken By Surprise

Day 424 – It took me three days to find my way to the Acropolis and its diamond – the Parthenon. But I am so happy I waited - I got the prefect day today. The sky was blue without a cloud and I dressed way too much for the warm and sunny day that welcomed me even at the top the mountain, I probably should’ve used some sunscreen!!

 I left my hotel early to make sure I’ll have enough time, so I was able to choose the long way to climb the mountain encircling it all around and finally making my way up the steps of the Propylafa and upon ascending it all the way to the top suddenly something took my breath away – the Parthenon in all its splendor. You always hear it is covered in scaffolds but what I saw is a picture out of a dream. There it stood against the perfectly blue sky, as magnificent as can be and tears just flooded my eyes. I don’t know why, it never happened before, but I was overtaken by emotions, I could hardly breathe. I just sat there for about half an hour, taking it all in and at some point I pulled my iPhone and wrote on the notes a little poem that just popped into my head there at the foot of the Parthenon. Not a great piece of poetry, but the whole theme was something out of a storybook, out of this world.

At the foot of the Parthenon,

Overcomed with emotions.

I didn't think it can get me like that,

I just didn't think. 

It took my breath away

Tears flooded my eyes.

It’s the cradle of modern civilization, 

This is where it all begun. 

The sheer size of these temples, 

The hinted beauty and the mighty fall.

The sharp contrast between new and old. 

The most powerful empire so mighty and vast, 

And now-a-days nation's struggle for life.

 

At the foot of the Parthenon overtaken by surprise 

Kneeling before the gods, asking for wisdom and heart. 

What do I take from this picture to my daily life?

The assurance of resilience the humbleness towards the past

The understanding that it is only a hint, a clue, not a path.

That I always have to keep my heart open to what is actually in front of my eyes.

At the foot of the Parthenon on top of the old world

I thank the heavens for guiding me here at last. 

I am thankful beyond words for the most emotional day on this trip so far. I am thankful my heart is so open, it can be so easily touched. I am thankful for an experience of a life time; I didn’t know when I embarked on this journey of all the presents awaiting me along the way. My hearts is bursting with emotions, I am thankful for everything, I am thankful to be so alive!!

Day Two in Athens

Day 423 – I hit a new milestone today – I took almost 400 pictures in 6 hours and exhausted my camera’s battery!! I probably hit another one – the first tourist ever to be in Athens for two days and still didn’t visit the Acropolis. But this one happened unintentionally. I didn’t know they close all the archeological sites at 3pm. I woke up late this morning, and took my time going in that direction. I entered the meat and fish markets and took so many pictures there. I just wished I had a kitchen here so I could buy some of the seafood I saw there; so fresh and inviting. I have to find a good fish restaurant; you cannot visit Greece and not indulge on all the seafood. When I got to the Plaka district I walked the streets again and heard some nice Greek music so I entered the store and enjoyed an hour with two very nice guys who took their time and introduced me to all different Greek performers past and present. I ended buying 3 CD’s and they gave me the 4^th for almost free. So I missed the Acropolis but I am sitting this evening in my hotel room listening to beautiful music. Their Alpha Beth is so different and I can’t read it, so I asked them to write it in English so I’ll be able to read it. Right now I listen to the beautiful voice and amazing bouzouki of Dimitrios Mitropanos and I just love it!! Today I still mostly roamed the streets of this beautiful city enjoying the tastes, sounds and smells of this very fascinating city. But tomorrow I will make it to the Acropolis. I promise.

  

I am thankful for a second day in this city. I am thankful for the complete happiness that this adventure brings into my heart. I feel like a drunk; I cannot get enough of the freedom, the unlimited opportunities. I feel like twirling my arms wide spread, the sun on my face and my eyes are closed – embracing with all my heart this so special adventure, I am so thankful for doing that, I feel so empowered, so blessed.   

Visiting Athens

Day 422 – I left home in a very heavy rain and arrived here to a beautiful sunny and warm day. I didn’t have much time to sleep before getting to the airport so I slept at the gate for an hour and was one of the first ones to board the plane and promptly fell asleep. I woke up over the islands few minutes before landing – a dreamy flight. After checking into the hotel, so I can leave my bag there I just roamed the streets, getting to know this city. There is an exciting combination of new and old living side by side, there is a city that so many of its buildings are in the new-classical style. There is graffiti everywhere, to the point that it looks unkempt, but I think it has something to do with the unrest here right now, even though I can’t read a thing – different Alpha Beth. I saw the changing of the guards – one of the strangest things I ever saw and I felt bad for those handsome guys standing there in their tights and pompon shoes, and those short, way too short skirts. I roamed the streets of Plaka, so narrow and beautiful and the Acropolis overlooking it all. I went to a restaurant because they had good Greek music and stayed there for two hours so happy, taking it all in. It’s a story of breaking few more chains, mental chains, of complete freedom. It’s the story of being alone in a foreign country with no language and no pre-set plan. It’s my dream and my plan; just me and my ability to do things, to find a way; it’s being as alone as one can be. It’s the challenge I like, the complete freedom. I said it two years ago – I want to go on the road to find myself. And here I am in Athens, Greece; finding myself. Celebrating life to the fullest.   

  

I am thankful I found in me the courage to just go, now I also understand why I didn’t make any plans. I am thankful for complete freedom for the exhilarating ride. I am alive, so alive!!

On My Way to the Airport

For some unknown reason I could not log on to my blog yesterday so I am posting only now but it belongs to Wednesday 14.3.12

 

Day 421 – It's late at night and I am on my way to the airport. I never went on a trip so unprepared but I was very busy at work in the past few days and I wanted to spend the little extra time I had with the man of my dreams. And so I just shoved tonight everything into the large back pack he brought me and that was it. The outcome of this is that the bag weighs a ton and I probably don't need half of what I took, but who cares? I am going on my first real adventure and I am so excited about that! The only thing that makes it hard is that I left him behind and it will be more than two weeks before I'll see him again. It's going to be very difficult. I wanted to complain here and then I thought better of it.  My daughter can see her boyfriend once every two weeks if she is lucky and if not it can be even three weeks, since they are both in the army. She would be so happy to be able to see him as often as we meet. I got new perspective on things. 

  

I am thankful for this adventure I am about to embark on. I am thankful to my daughter for being so patient with me for the past two weeks as I was getting totally absorbed in this new and flourishing relationship. I am thankful to this wonderful man for the role he plays in my life, for what he brought into my life, for being there by my side.

My Up Coming Trip

Day 420 – I am going on a trip to Greece for a week. I was very excited about it – going on my own for a week to a foreign country – it’s so adventurous, but almost two weeks ago, I was hit by a lightning (in a form of a man) and everything changed since then. Suddenly it feels so difficult to go and leave him here. Especially since the day before my return he leaves for a week. So now for two weeks we are going to be apart. I am at the stage that it’s hard not to see him even one day. And suddenly not to be able to see him, text him or talk to him - I don’t even want to think about the two weeks ahead, it’s going to be so hard. We are talking about using Skype and emails -we’ll find a way to stay in touch, but I know I’ll miss him terribly. I feel like a teenager – all I am doing all day long is thinking of him. I am falling, falling fast…

   

I am thankful for this upcoming trip; first time I am traveling abroad all alone and I am very thankful for that. I am so very thankful for being sad to leave, for having my heart overflowing with all these unfamiliar feelings; for this unexpected spring, for so much happiness, more than I thought possible at my age, at this stage of my life.

Considering My Values

Day 419 - Yesterday I was talking to one of my best friends and since she is from the same town as the man I am dating, I told her his name; there was silence on the other side of the phone after I did that, and my heart skipped a beat. I told her – “if you know anything that is not OK I want to know; we are good enough friends that you can do that and I really want to know. I would do the same for you and you know that”. The only thing she said is that he is known to get into disagreements with people he works with, that he might be too controlling. I thanked her and said that if this is all then I am OK with that. He is very sweet to me, but I will make sure to pay attention to that. I did a lot of thinking about this talk and I realized that I like strong men, that I cannot even think of having a partner that is not a very strong man; by definition a strong man can be a little controlling, but it is up to me to make sure it will not carry over to our relationship, up to the both of us. That you need two to tango; that to be in a verbally or emotionally abusive relationship requires cooperation of the abused, and I will never allow something like that. And as to the man in question, he is such an amazing guy, and he is so kind and generous and good to me, I could not wish for anyone better.  I realized that at my age prince charming comes balding with a little belly, and wrinkles but with so much more of a personality, so much finer as a man, just like his princess, just like me.    

    

I am thankful for such a good friend who loves me enough to tell me things she thinks I have to know even if they are not easy to say or hear. I am thankful that even when I hear unfavorable things, I am a strong enough woman today to know I can handle that; I am thankful I can trust my gut feelings and know he is such a wonderful man, even if others don’t always see it, and I stick with him. I am thankful beyond words for we have found each other, for this flourishing relationship, for feelings I didn’t know I have in me anymore. 

The gift of Painting

Day 418 – We didn’t have art class on Thursday due to a local holiday and it was very disappointing for me. I love this class so much, and I really missed it, so I came today to the make-up class and finished the picture I started last week, which you can see posted here. I am still doing my first steps in the world of colors and I just mix colors and put them on the canvas with a very raw idea of what I want to paint. So my initial idea was a forest but I started with this tree in the middle and it somehow evolved into this orchestrated theme of colors and no forest just this lone tree. But it felt right and it felt done so I just stopped. And I came home and hung it on my wall and for the last two hours I sit here and every few minutes I look at it in disbelief. It looks like a real picture, like something I might even buy and I am the one who made it. Somehow it came from under my brushed. It’s magic. I keep saying all the time the Great Creator’s intervention. It’s not that I am a religious person, it is just that I cannot find a better name to explain, how some things will come from me that are better that I, with no help, can do. It is as if some creative force is channeled through me. It’s magic. I am looking at this picture and few others and they make me so happy.   

 

I am thankful I found this amazing class. I am thankful I found in me creative talent I never knew existed. I am thankful for this opportunity to try and improve. I am so thankful for this gift of painting, for this gift of art.   

It's Spring Time

Day 417 – It was a beautiful Saturday with blue skies and bright sun in the green meadows of the valley. It is much easier to cross the muddy creeks with a SUV than with my little Mazda and you can get away from the croweds. I am getting more convinced it is a good thing to own one. But I did see today that even a 4X4 has its limits as we got stuck in a ditch and we needed a little extra pull from a local ranger truck to get out of that tight spot. We set by the creek for a long time enjoying the serenity of the place,  with a beautiful spring day, good wine, some food and the best of company, what more could I ask for? What a perfect day.

  

I am thankful for such a wonderful day in nature; most of my week I spend indoors so I love these hours outside. I am thankful I got to spend such a lovely day with the best of company, with this dear, dear man . I am thankful for happiness I did not expect to come my way, more than I thought possible.

Enchanted

Day 416 – I am sitting right now and listening to CD of Turkish music by Hayal Gibi. Music I never heard before in an unfamiliar scale and very different collection of musical instruments. I love doing that; getting into this unfamiliar territory and open my heart to something different and new. And the music I hear right now is absolutely amazing. It sounds almost enchanted and it resonates in me. I feel like getting up and dancing this strangely beautiful and haunting music; slow and with an almost meditative quality. My heart is so full it is about to burst and this music is just what I needed right now. I close my eyes and listen thankful, so thankful for everything in my life.

 

I am thankful for the gift of music; I feel so lucky to have a heart so open to music that it can stir me so much. I am thankful for being introduced to this enchanting music. I am thankful for an amazing day. I feel so blessed.      

A very Important Question

  Day 415 – The great thing about new love is that it takes your breath away. And my life kind of turned up-side down. But today I got back to my routine, at least long enough to write my morning pages. And after few days I was neglecting some of my daily activities, it feels good to be back. I was writing my morning pages, and a segment of conversation we had popped in my head. With all the wisdom I gained in so many years on this earth and one failed marriage, what are the things in a potential partner that are red light for me? This is a simple question and a very valid one. The interesting thing is that I didn’t have an answer ready, and I actually had to think – what are my red flags. I realize how important it is to put these thoughts into words, to make the connection between heart and mind. To make sure I will not make the same mistake twice, that I will know what to look for and what to avoid. Most things are walking with me for a long time, and I just put it to paper, but one is something I never looked at before and it might be the most crucial one. So now my list is updated and my heart can do the evaluation and see if he passed the test. So far he scored no red flags and so many good points. I pray it will stay this way, and deepen, that it’s real and can hold both of us in its palm. I hope I found my match.

   

I am thankful for the challenges he presented to me that forced me to think in a very different way. I am thankful I got to stretch my thinking muscles this way. I am thankful for the very important question I had to ponder today. I am thankful for the realization it brought with it, for all the good it will bring into my life. I am thankful for a day of routine, even if it means I am away from him today.