Finding My Adult Voice

Day 411 – last Thursday I was very upset with my creative class group. It is something that is going on for a few weeks already. I keep getting phone calls from one of the participants that I should tone down my writing , that I should write about happy things and not only sad or difficult, that I should show the light side of me. At the beginning I thought that OK I can do that, and I did; but it was a very mediocre piece. Two weeks ago, the same thing happened and last week, when I got this phone call for the third time “making sure” I am writing something light I had enough. On top of it we had some personality clashes and one of the members, and one of the better writers, decided to leave the group. I wrote a very strong piece, I think my best or very close to it but decided not to read it to the group and asked the teacher to review it and I told her I am leaving the group. I would love to do some one on one work with her, but I am not staying in the group. It does nothing for me anymore under the circumstances. And today I got two phone calls, from two different members trying to convince me to reconsider; that I am writing so well and my contribution is so important and so on. I said that I cannot work this way when someone is telling me what to write. I said I am very open to criticism about my writing, but I am not ready to be told what to write, just how to make it better. I said no one will tell Picasso what to draw, you just say if you like it or not. If you want to see angels don’t go to a Picasso exhibition. I said it is a done deal but after a few minutes I thought better of it. The mature way to do that is not to quit but instead to bring up the subject to the group and see if we can find a common ground, and if they insist and we cannot agree than I will leave but at least I tried to fix things instead of just slamming the door behind me. So this is what I am going to do this coming Thursday; stand up like a mature adult and state my position instead of letting people brewing things behind closed doors and in whispers. It made me very happy when I came to that realization.

  

I am thankful for these two friends for bringing up the subject again; only that enabled me to come to a different and much better solution. I am thankful for the nice things they both said about my writing. I am thankful I was able to exercise the adult in me and bring it forward, all on my own.