Show Time

(I don't know what happened yesterday but the posting looks really bad so I am trying to post it again; it belongs to Tuesday March 6)

Day 413 - I got a very enthusiastic review about a show, and today, being its last day here in the area, I decided to go. I have to admit I almost didn't go. It was late and I really wanted to see someone I will be missing very much in the next few days, but I thought that I am not going back into the pattern of canceling my plans to match my steps to someone's. I have to do things I like and not cancel my own plans so easily, I have to be able to define myself even in a relationship and not to erase my will and wants, otherwise I will get back to the same position as before. I have to be flexible; I have to leave room for the both of us, but it cannot be that I'll disappear. Now, I have to make it clear, it was I who originally said I'll give up the show. I am still not sure how good the show is, is it worth it, but never the less, it is a show I wanted to see. I am very happy I realized a bad pattern and was able to nip it in the bud. I hope I will learn the delicate balance between me and us; I feel that here lies the key to good and healthy long term relationship. And I sure want to have one; for that I'll have to learn to listen to me and my needs even there, and in the same time not to neglect my partner's needs. Complicate.

   

I am thankful I changed my mind and did an act of caring towards me. I am thankful for the opportunity to put myself to the test. I am thankful I got to watch an interesting show. I am thankful most of all for the wonderful response I got, just what I needed; one more check mark; Yes!!