The Artist Within

Day 186 – I always think of myself as having an artist hidden deep down inside me I don’t know how to bring to the surface. I always have a special attraction to anything art related. I tried so many things and nothing sticks. Few years ago I found a book “The Artist’s Way” that suppose to help one unleash the artist within. It is a 12 weeks program but although I committed myself to the program I didn’t stay for the duration of it. I didn’t do the work. I was not in a good place in my life,  I wasn’t good enough to myself. I saw that book again when I was unpacking and put it on the spiritual books' shelf, with the intention of getting back to it. Incidently, few days ago, I decided to publish some of my writings and I even started doing the research about the big agencies here and how to approach them. I even sent one chapter to one of my friends to read. And so today I was unpacking boxes while enjoying the music from my new stereo system I just bought yesterday (something I am very happy about since I couldn’t make my old one work), and for some reason I started to read my old journals. And suddenly I just knew it. I am ready for that book again. I am going to do whatever I need to find my voice, to open up to the creative forces in me. I am committing myself to the program for the duration of the 12 weeks, for the rest of my life.  I realized I have to create, it is boiling inside me and I have to find a way give it words, to find a way to express it.
So I have to write 3 pages every day, no editing, no censoring, no looking at it or showing it to anyone. I opened a new notebook and I filled the three pages in the shortest time I ever wrote. I am ready. I know it and I am so happy about it. I needed to be free first of all, to connect back to my roots, and get back to my language. I needed to stop hiding. And after i will be done with the programm myself, I am going to offer this class to others. It will help me keep growing as an artist and it will help others as well. We will all find strength and encouragement in the sacred circle.

She writes in the book “creativity is God’s gift to us, using this creativity is our gift back to God”. I want with all my heart to connect to that source of power (even if I give it a different name), to the infinite source of creativity, of energy, of strength and of enlightenment.

I am so thankful for the inspiration I had today to try and find the lost artist in me. I am thankful I feel this way about the whole process. I am so thankful the time had come for me to unleash the hidden talents in me, to find my voice and use it. I am thankful for the artist in me, hidden or not. I am thankful for an amazing day.