Recovering a Sense of Safety

Day 189 – I woke up really early today – at 4:30 am because I had to do my 3 pages writing before I took my daughter to the bus station. But I was very happy that even though I really disliked that early wake up, I didn’t even hesitated before setting up my alarm clock to that ungodly hour. I know you don’t acquire a new habit overnight, but after a few weeks it will become part of my routine, just like this blog. And as I said few days ago, I am committing myself to that program. Twelve weeks means until the 15^th of October, and I am already 3 days into it. I find it easy to write, I love it and it sure clears my mind. So this week we are working on “recovering a sense of safety”. I have to identify my “hall of shame” people – those who helped me to lose confidence in my artistic ability, those who belittled my work. I also have to identify my “Hall of Fame” people, those who encouraged me to go on, that I am a good writer. In the chapter she also gives extra homework every week and I am doing that as well. It requires some soul searching and some extra writing, that I skipped yesterday, since I wanted to spend all the time I got with my daughter before she leaves today, but the only thing I have to do every day are the morning pages, which I do, the rest I just have to finish during the week. And so  I took care of it today, all except the artist date – I have to take the artist in me for a date. To see something that is artistic, stimulation, different, intriguing - my pick. I am still thinking of where should I go this week – any ideas will be welcomed!! Maybe I’ll go to a gallery or an art store – I’ll let you know in the next two days where I decided to go.
I am thankful I have this extra time I can use for self-discovery, I know I had times when it was the last thing I could this of, so I am very thankful that now I have the time as well as the mindset to start and commit to finish this program. I did not regain a sense of safety yet, but I did make few important discoveries about me as an artist. I am thankful for the phone call from my daughter- she is doing great and is so happy – a very special thank you to whoever finally help to resolve her situation.