A Wonderful Surprise

Day 556 – We went for breakfast on the beach this morning, or at least that what I was thinking. It was after 11 am when he called this morning, so I suggested we’d meet for a late breakfast. Few minutes later he came to pick me up and we drove and drove and drove, way past the city and its beaches. He said it sounds so mondane the beach, do I mind if we'll go else where. Of course not, I'd love to I said, I want to spend time with him and what ever we do is fine with me. So he drove towards one of the most beautiful areas in our country on our northern border, the northern point on the beach. It was a hot day and quite humid but the car was air conditioned, the north is always a little cooler and there is a breeze from the sea, a breathtaking scenery and most important of all a great company; an hour and a half drive that passed in no time. After lunch (it was after all, a little late for breakfast already) we drove along the northern border, stopping at times to take in the surrounding, for me to see places I’ve never been to, and just enjoy each other's company. To enjoy a day with someone I really like; a day I totally didn’t expect to unfold the way it did. But I love surprises and I love spontaneity and I am very happy he does too. By the time we returned to the city it was 9pm already – a breakfast that lasted a full day. It was such a nice day and the more I spend time with him the more I like him. Something that makes me very happy, of course; but I realize it is also a constant fight to stay present, to stay fully invested. Since the more I spend time with him the more I am getting involved emotionally thus the more I can get hurt if it won’t work. I have to admit, this is something that crosses my mind too many times. We had a candid talk about that and he is in a very similar place, maybe even worse since he is still recovering from a broken heart, mine is really something of the past, I am just afraid. I slowly realize that as we get older we really want the company of a partner in our live, but we all carry so many battle scars that it becomes very difficult to trust and open up again. I am trying my best, but I can feel I am guarded and every so often I can hear the devil’s little voice in my ear, trying to scare me away. I just tell myself it is the devil and I should not be listening; that I should trust my eyes and my heart and when I do that, everything feels so right…

 

I am thankful for an amazing day, a surprise that completely changed a day that was supposed to be like every other Friday. I am thankful he is as invested in this relationship right now as I am. I am thankful for great candidness, for a very accepting environment that enables us to talk and express our concerns and worries; I believe this is the right way to develop a deeper and more meaningful relationship. I am thankful for happiness I didn’t expect, or as I wrote in a poem few days ago – I am thankful for this unexpected storm in the middle of my summer, as I was walking towards the sunset of my life. I wanted to say again that I hope we can turn it into a lasting relationship but this is a given, everyone is craving warmth and intimacy, I am thankful I can master the courage to go forward and enjoy every day to the fullest and let tomorrow take care of itself. I am thankful for meeting him, for having him in my life, regardless of how the story will end.