Decision Time

Day 545 – we had today our last real lesson in my Tour Directors course. Next week we have our final test and the week after is our last tour. Hard to believe but after 8 months this class is coming to its end. Some of the people are coming from other cities so it is also the last times we see each other, we all became friends during this period and it will be sad to say goodbye. And now I have to start thinking seriously of what do I do next. I took and passed the test for country tour guides so I can start the class in November but do I really want to do that? Isn’t this just a way for me to postpone my decision and not take action, something I am doing so well at times? What do I really want to do when I grow up and if I don’t know, isn’t it time to stop running just long enough to actually think? And if I take these classes not as a career but as a fun activity then aren’t there more interesting classes to take? Don’t I want to have a little free time and not fill every moment with structured activity? I can do so many things with the time and money I am going to invest in this class and these two resources are very limited in my life so I better use them as wisely as I can. I have one week to make my decision but when I raise all these questions I think the answer is pretty clear. I should at least look into few more options. True, I will know about my country more than I ever did but this cannot be the only reason to take a year and a half long class that will take away all my Fridays (my class time) and all my Tuesdays (our weekly tour day) and in between time to prepare for every tour and full time job that I’ll have to squeeze into 4 days, which means 10 hours a day. Even my current class, that is not so demanding, is packing my weeks full; do I really want this extra layer of business? I will look at the University for some Classes, just because I love studying, but I will also look into having a subscription to a theater troupe or a dance troupe instead; and more important of all I should start thinking what do I really want to do next and start taking steps in that direction. It is the right time for me to do just that. I am here for two years already; I know it is something I want to do for the rest of my life, so how do I want to see myself in 5 years? 10? 15? 20?  What do I want to do when I grow up?  Today I make my decision to stop running and start listening, to stop and take inventory; to stop and take action.

  

I am thankful for this wonderful class that opened before me new horizons and helped me make so many new friends. I am thankful for the opportunities this class opens for me; now I have to actually grab them. I am thankful for an amazing 8 months, for so many new things I learned. I am thankful I stumbled upon this class. I am also thankful that I am finally able to open my eyes and ask the real questions and not keep running blindly from one activity to the next. I am thankful for hesitations, for difficult decisions, for being alive thus debating. I am thankful for the junstions in my life.