A Dinner For Two

Day 542 – I love cooking. I used to cook every day and not for a few days and not to freeze it for future use. I just loved cooking and did it almost every day for 30 years. And then I left home and moved here, and even that changed.  Most of the time I am alone here and I eat hot lunch at work and I don’t like to eat heavy meals at night and so, my new reality changed even the most basic stuff. I am not complaining, simply stating. And by now I got so used to not cooking that even when my daughter is here I usually don’t cook; we just go out. Since I moved here we had only once someone invited to dinner here with us and it was a very long time ago. And so yesterday morning talking to the guy I am seeing right now I suddenly felt like inviting him for dinner, so I did. I checked few things about likes and don’ts, eat and not to make sure I will not cook something he won’t be able to enjoy and here you go. I cook very differently than what people eat here; I lived abroad for many years and I developed a different taste. He said something about simple when I asked the clarification questions and I told him I don’t cook simple, I cook very complex food; I love that. We were planning to go later at night to a dance as well, so a perfect evening was ahead of us. It’s very interesting to cook for someone I just met, because I keep thinking of him and how he would feel about this or that; when I cook for my family – I know. When I cooked for friends I trust my skills and I care less anyway. But here it was more important than friends and really unknown; a very different experience. But I have to admit I really miss cooking and I really enjoyed it; all the little details like setting the table and decorating it, all good things. As we get older, our children are not home anymore and if we also separated from our spouses then Friday night dinners are time that we feel alone the most, because in our culture, Friday night was always a family gathering time, a festive dinner; and the contrast is striking. So this dinner was special on so many levels and I had a great time. It was interesting to see someone learn a whole new pallet of tastes; eat something totally unfamiliar; but he enjoyed it and we had a great time. It’s nice to be able to do something special for someone who does so much for me, who shows me in so many ways how much he cares; scary, but nice. Now the question is how can I put great evening and scary in the same sentence; but this is something for a new entry; today I am celebrating the small things - good food, a glass of wine, a smile...

  

I am thankful I had this idea to invite him for dinner. I am thankful he was open to the idea and it didn’t chase him away. I am thankful for a great evening we spent together. I am thankful for this budding relationship that is doing me a world of good; opening my heart. I am thankful for this elated feeling that is the beginning of something new; I am trying to embrace it all and not to run for cover. I know that only by risking failure I can also find happiness, so I am thankful for finding in me the courage to try.