About human cruelty and compassion

Day 608 - We came back from the kibbutz early afternoon and most of my evening was devoted to my Cambodia project. I am writing about the Khmer Rouge era between 1975-1979 and the more I read about it the more disturbed I am about the magnitude of human cruelty, about the ability of the people to look at suffering, to cause intense suffering and be totally indifferent to it. I just don't get it. I am a daughter of the Jewish nation, I know our own history, the atrocities committed during the holocaust to our people that their only crime was being born as Jews. But still every time I read about such horrific deeds I am asking again the same question how can one human being can cause so much suffering and pain, even take the life of another? how can anyone be sick enough to do that, to create a whole theory to justify it and than go about implementing it? how can one do that to his own people? I can only hope I'll never do understand that, and that I will never have to face something like that from either side of the gun barrel. It's sad, so sad to face the cruelty our kind can master within their heart. Not a good reading for the New Year but one very important lesson. We should always keep a very compassionate heart and never forget who we are. We should never ignore the sufferings of people less fortunate than us. And maybe this is a good thing to thing about in a day like that, to make sure I will always stay connected, to find a good cause to volunteer, something I didn't do yet since I moved here and maybe it is time for me to start doing that. I wanted to write about an intense disappointment I had today, but I find this so negligible when compared to the issue at hand. It sure puts life into a whole new perspective.
  
I am thankful for a wonderful morning I had today with our family in the kibbutz. I am thankful my daughter and her friends chose to stay the night here, in my home; it makes me so happy to know they are so comfortable and at home here. I am thankful for many hours of work I managed to cram today and another step closer to the finish line of my project. I am thankful that I came to the conclusion I want to start volunteering; and I hope to find something meaningful.