Food for thoughts

Day 601 - I arrived late yesterday and spent the evening with my MF so today is really my first day back home and I was playing catch up all day long. My daughter came late morning from the army for a two hours visit, so I spend that little and precious time with her before going back to work, which meant I left work only at 6:30 pm. and then I drove to my mother in law to visit her since she is still in the rehab facility and will stay there for another week. She needed some medication so I got it for her and left only after 10:30 PM so yes, at almost 11pm I finally got home. Along the way I made some phone calls to my family and some friends; and also found out that my suitcase made it safely to the airport and will be delivered tomorrow. So a busy day, a very busy day and I am ready to go to sleep now. I am not really that tired but I have to get back to local time and to my routine and I slept very little tonight; I guess I do have some jet lag after all. I had a wonderful vacation and I really rested and I want to try to keep the good work, so here I am so happy to be back home, reconnect with everyone and now also trying to go to bed in a normal hour and hopefully will be able to keep it as part of some self TLC. 
A little side note - I keep writing about my guy that I am not sure because of how reserved he is and then yesterday he did this so sweet of a gesture picking me up and setting aside the whole evening just for the two of us. We went to a restaurant and he started telling me some stories and only now, as I write this paragraph I suddenly realize what it really means - they come from deep down in him; this is his way of showing he cares, of making me part of his life; and it is important for me to understand this and I have to admit, I didn't, and only now I finally did. I have to learn to listen to him, not to my way of doing things but to his, not through my prism but his. and again, today he called me in the afternoon and shared some more and I also learned he is telling people about his girlfriend, that I was away and that I came back yesterday; and he did wait for me these two and a half weeks I was gone, so I guess it is much more important to him than he cares to admit, and it is more in my head than real. In reality he is here, I just don't see it sometimes since it comes with a different cover than I expect. And more importantly I keep saying that I have to learn to live in the present and right now everything is wonderful, I am just not sure about the tomorrows, but who knows what's in the future anyway, all our plans can disappear in a second when new reality drops in. So with the only real thing being now, I am perfectly happy; now all is well, and it's been more than two months and I really don't want it to end, so it's good, very good indeed. 
  
I am thankful for all the catch-up I got to do today. I am thankful I was not tired at all and could fully function. I am thankful they found my luggage and I'll get it tomorrow. I am thankful for my constant evaluation of my love life, it can be tiresome but I think it is also very important, part of the re-examination of my life and the concepts I hold dear to me. I am thankful to my MF for being  in my life; I learn so many important lessons thanks to him, and I keep learning; for all the excitement and happiness he brings into my days, for tenderness I didn't know still existed in me, for hopes and dreams and reality checks; for being who he is and allowing me to be who I am, even encouraging it in so many ways. I am thankful to my daughter for coming here today just to spend two hours with me, for missing me so much; this role is usually one sided - the parent misses the child and here she teaches me every day that it can work both ways, that a parent can develop close relationship with an offspring, you just have to be attuned enough and sincerely and unconditionally love her; I am thankful for her abundance love, for her compassion, for her big heart she wares on her sleeve; OMG, I am so so thankful for having her and for having her here with me. I am so thankful for all the amazing gifts in my life!!!