Being an Immigrant

Day 312 – Before you know it the short visit came to an end. They left two hours ago to the airport, starting their long way back home. My parents left back to their home, my youngest daughter is going back to the army tomorrow and I am here alone again after a very intense week. It was sad to say goodbye knowing it will be months before I’ll see them again. It is sad to see families all living so close to each other and we are separated by an ocean and a continent. This is the real price we pay for a choice we made 23 years ago to move away from our homeland and live in a different country. We were forever torn between the two places, knowing all too well that we will never really assimilate into our new country, but hoping our children will. But we also raised children with split identity; they feel very much like they belong to the new homeland but on the same time have a strong pull to the old one. We saw it in many families in our situation back there. And many times, as the years pile up, some of the children move back and the parents either move back or split their time between the two places. It is a very complicate thing to be an immigrant and we totally didn’t understand what we were getting into. And now we pay the price for it; we have a virtual family. Each one lives in a different place and we meet for few weeks a year at best. We can try to keep in each other’s life by skype, phone and every so often short visits, but we are soooo far apart. We cannot enjoy the simple joys in life like celebrating holidays and birthday or just sharing a Friday night dinner together. We are lucky if we can celebrate two or three special events a year together, and usually it’s not the whole family. How sad!! If I had todays' wisdom would I make the same choice again? I don’t think so, but to be perfectly honest, this is not the only thing I would change, make a different choice. But I don’t live in this parallel world and in the world I live I made certain choices, and now it is the time to pay the price for them. And it is my privilege to be able to make good on those choices, to make life better for it. I am not sure yet how, but I will find a way. but for you the reader, if you are considering being an immigrant in another country – make sure you understand what is it you are getting into. And think long and hard if you are ready to pay the price for many years to come.

              

I am thankful for a wonderful visit; I got to see my daughter and her little daughter, my granddaughter. I am thankful for every day I got to spend with them. I am very thankful to my daughter and her fiancé for braving this difficult and long flight with a 6 months old baby. I am thankful to my ex-husband for underwriting the expenses of the trip, thus allowing it to happen. I am thankful for all the good moments we had during the many years we lived as immigrants. I am thankful for the lessons awaiting for me now, as the result of our family split.