Day 315 – I had a dream about a little house in the northern part of my country, a little house surrounded by trees and flowers and a man very dear to me who lives there with me. I was very happy and he was very happy and we loved each other so much. We had so many children and grandchildren between his brood and mine, and we all lived happily ever after, or should I say, happily until I woke up. I don’t live in this little house but in an apartment in the city, it is not surrounded by any flowers or trees and the saddest thing of all is that I don’t live here with the man I love, I live alone. I woke up and found it was only a dream, and it is very sad. It's really not my best week so far; I had a very hard time on Sunday after my daughter left and it is even harder now, especially since I know it is so wrong to break up. I had a dream about peaceful life full of love and laughter only to wake up and realize it was just a dream. Life is about the lessons we learn and what we take with us to continue our journey. I know I will be fine and I know that one day I will find a man who will not be afraid to love me too. I was so sure I found him, that the magic will hold but it didn't and I’m so sad about that. Timing is everything and ours was off; he was ready when I was not, and I am ready now but he is not. I am not sure life will give us a third chance to make it right, but this is a chance I took once, and he is taking now; how sad. It is not every day you can find someone who is plainly saying that his/her heart is broken, well, mine is broken now.
I am thankful for a dream that lasted for such a short time but was so sweet and special. I am thankful for moments of sheer happiness, for realizing I can love again, even if it was the wrong time to do that. I am thankful for all the memories that are mine and cannot be taken away. I am thankful for my broken heart; the good thing about being in a very low place is that it can only get better from there.
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