Tuesday, October 2, 2012

An amazinge act of kindness

Day 623 - I was very upset yesterday after the nasty e-mails׳ exchange with my ex. I am a very calm woman and very rarely get upset or angry, but I did get upset yesterday, very upset. I wrote a sad SMS to my MF, yes the one I just broke up with, and told him how wonderful it could have been if he was here since I really needed a shoulder to cry on.  Two hours later he sent me a message that he's on his way and will arrive in time for my four hours break!!! And so he did. We spent a wonderful afternoon together, wondering through the bustling market, eating in a really good restaurant, and just enjoying each others' company. It was so nice and exactly what I needed, but most of all, I was touched to the very core of my being. This is the guy I just told two days before that we don't work as a couple, that I need more commitment than he can give me and here just because I was upset he drove almost two hours in each direction just so he can spend four hours with me and cheer me up; be there for me at my hour of need, not expecting anything in return. I am standing here with no words to describe such an act of kindness. And this is exactly  why I kept saying that I want to give him more chances. Underneath it all there is this big and loving heart; I know it is there even if he is too afraid to admit to it; and I am speechless in its presence. I have to find in me the ability to look beyond his non-committal words to his hidden commitment, to his love and care. Can I do that? Can I somehow keep this very special man in my life, as my partner? But regardless of the future, this moment in time, encapsulated and whole, was perfect, and for that I will always be thankful to him. I can only hope I will be able to pay him in kind; and that one day I'll be able to do a real act of kindness, no strings attached, towards someone who needs it. I hope I can be just as kind, just as good.
 
I am thankful for the trial I went through yesterday; it is very important for me to understand with whom I am dealing, the good and the bad. I am thankful beyond words to my friend; for being a true friend, for doing such an act of kindness, for asking nothing in return. I am thankful for an amazing lesson. I am thankful for an amazing afternoon, that even now, six hours later I cannot get over it. I am thankful for trials in my life that illuminate the good I am surrounded with. I am thankful for such an amazing day!!!

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