One more frog

Day 630 - sometimes I so want something to happen that I try to avoid the facts in front of me. I don't think I am the only one doing it but it really doesn't matter, it doesn't make it right just because others are using the same practice. I know for quite some time already that this relationship with the man I am seeing is not going to work, I know I don't get from it what I need and deserve, but I really like him and so for weeks on end I am piling excuses in order not to put an end to it. Even when I did last week, it took one act of kindness to blur it all again for me and let me keep the illusion a little longer that maybe things will change, that maybe he is just this or that. But what it really is that he is a great guy, there is no doubt about that, but this is not going to work; I need more and I deserve more and he cannot give me that. It is a very sad realization for me; for so long I was hoping and dreaming but this did not change the reality, just made me blind to it. We met this evening and after about an hour it was crystal clear to me - this is IT, things will never change - am I ready to settle for that? and my answer was finally NO; I just got up and left. I finally got the clarity and from that the strength to accept that which cannot be changed and declare it is not enough for me and leave the stage. I am sad, of course, he is such a great guy and I know that there was such a great potential here, but the stars did not align, our timing was off, what ever the reason is - it didn't happen. So, one more break-up, one more heart ache; the life of a single woman that chose to leave all behind and believe in second chances, in fairy tale ending, in dreams. But through it all, I learn so much about myself, I get all those wonderful gifts and I still believe that one day I will find my prince, I just have to be patient and keep kissing frogs.
  
I am thankful I finally got the courage to open my eyes and realize it is a mirage, and not real. I am thankful I got the strength to get up and just leave. I am thankful for this wonderful man, for the time we spent together, for the dreams that didn't come true, but were wonderful never-the-less. I am thankful for lessons I learn every day, even if this one is painful. I am thankful I finally was ready to admit that all my kisses did not turn this frog into my prince, and put him back in the pond.