Sunday, March 30, 2014

A very painful reality

Day 1165 - I met with my daughter today for a very difficult heart to heart talk. I am at a loss right now and I think it will take me a few days to get my head clear. I am at a very painful junction that I never thought I can find myself in but I did and I am. I cannot pretend as if nothing had been said, I cannot behave as if there is no real problem here. I might seek some professional guidance but things cannot keep going the way they did up until now. A very painful reality is finally forcing me to look at the mirror and into my own heart. It will take time to start untangling all this mess, but I will find a way. I will. I admire my daughter for opening her heart to me and I promise to make amends for all these difficult months. The train had derailed a long time ago, I just didn't want to acknowledge this. I am not sure if I can change things around, I sure hope it can be done, but things have to change dramatically and the sooner the better. It's past midnight and I just made it home a few minutes ago, so more about it tomorrow when my head will be a little clearer and my mind more fresh.

I am thankful I got to spend time with my daughter, I cherish it even when in pain. I am thankful to my daughter for all she said, it takes courage to do that. I am also thankful my dad left the rehab center today and a little over two months since the accident he is back home; hopefully for a full recovery.

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