The First Ray Of Light

Day 541 – after months of not feeling well all the time I convinced my daughter to see a specialist in our hospital. A short exam and a short description of her symptoms gave him enough information to pin point where he thinks the problem lies. Since she is in the army and not really a master of her free time, it took a week for her to come back for the first procedure he ordered for her. It’s invasive and a little scary when one considers the outcome and the implications, but on the other hand, no matter what the test shows, at least we have the beginning of a direction to pursue. It is very difficult to deal with the unknown, there’s no way to treat something you don’t know what it is; at best you can treat the symptoms. So today, after waiting a few hours and under heavy sedation they did the test and took few biopsies for further investigations and found, as we hoped the first light in this heavy darkness. When the doctor told my daughter his findings tears welled in her eyes, but not out of sadness but of relief. After months she has the first proof she is not imagining things, like it was hinted, but something is really not the way it should and they are going to start checking why. The most difficult thing when you have something out of the ordinary is that people are starting to question you; when you keep complaining you don’t feel well but all the tests they run come back normal. Are you imagining things, do they have to send you to a psychiater instead of keep poking you. So it was a very emotional moment. And now we have a plan of action, the first step in the long way, but as we know the first step is what sets the wheels in motion and today we celebrate that, regardless of what future tests will show as to the source of it all.

  

I am thankful my daughter was desperate enough to fight for her right to see a civilian specialist and not an army one. I am thankful that I work in this hospital as to enable my daughter to get to this great doctor. I am thankful for a wonderful day we spent together, even if part of it was in the hospital; we are so good, we can even make a hospital stay into a party. But most of all I am thankful that after months of wondering in the dark the first ray of light appeared.