Saturday, October 8, 2011

A Day of Reflections

Day 263 I decided to fast. Not because I am a great believer, just because I am here and it feels right, and I have to admit to the shameful truth – just to prove I can. It was a last minute decision so I didn’t eat the big meal that is a tradition, but I knew I’ll be all right. Food is not such a major thing in my life and I can function well without it. Drinking is a little more of an issue, but 26 hours – really no big deal. And fasting gave me a nice opportunity to do things differently. I spend a lovely evening yesterday, painting and reading and I went to sleep at a normal hour and today was more of the same. A very quiet day and very relaxing; with soft music, and lot of reading, I was reflecting on my life in the past year and I was very happy about my findings. It was a good year, a very good year with such great leaps; it was a year of so much growing up and finding my own voice, identifying my needs, expending my horizon in every possible direction. I am standing at the end of my first full year here at the beginning of a new one as a very different woman from the one who arrived here a little over a year ago. I am proud of every struggle, of every failure, of every minute of this past year. I am strong and independent woman now and I managed through it all to keep my eyes open and my heart open and soft, it did not harden and I am very happy about that. and I found my voice and my medium and I am finding the artistic side of me that I always knew was there but never found a way to release it.
I am thankful for this past year, I am thankful for the woman I became. I am thankful I decided to finally take the driver’s sit and change the course of my life. People are always astonished at the courage it takes to do that, but I know that at some point it is not courage anymore but a necessity. I am thankful I could read the writing on the wall and take action. I am thankful for all the gifts I received for doing that. I am thankful for a very special day.

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