Talk, Talk,Talk...

Day 431 – I had a wonderful weekend with my parents. At last we came to a point where we can actually talk about things that matter and not stay on the surface. I love to convert friendships to something more meaningful I love making it personal, very personal. And with time I see that most people appreciate that, they just don’t’ know how to cross the barrier of pleasantries and casual conversations. I barely have friendships like that anymore – I don’t see the point of it. If we cannot make it meaningful, then why waste the little time we have. I am not looking for something just to pass my time. it is always an alternative to something else I can do, so it better be worth it. Not interested in talks between masks, I want to deal with the real person, with feelings, wants, hurts; this is where the connections between souls are being made. So I had a long and very meaningful talk with my parents, mostly they wanted to understand my life and to express their legitimate concern about me still being single after almost two years. the important of a partner and the compromises one should be able to make in order to be in a relationship. I see their point and I understand it. I also explained mine – that in order for it to stick I need someone that I will be happier to be with him than to be alone; that us combined are more than one plus one – that our connection will create something bigger than each one alone. In short, it was a very interesting and heart felt conversation.
While driving back home I had an almost hour long conversation with a distant relative; a woman I knew for many years and always liked, but we never met just the two of us so we never actually had an opportunity to a deep and meaningful talk and I guess I caught her on the right time and she just opened up and we had an amazing talk and I am sure from now on our friendship will become much stronger and so much more meaningful.
And since I felt so good already upon arriving to my home city, I decided to go and visit my mother-in-law. She doesn’t feel good lately and I am the only person she actually opens up to and can talk about being alone and sad and anything else. She knows that and I do as well, that from all her friends and children and anyone else in her life I am the only one who can ask her the real questions and get honest answers. So I am doing my best to visit her once a week or lately a little less since I was so absorbed with my new love and my trip. But I am so happy I did go and I think I made some serious ways with her today – I’ll talk about it next week if it will actually holds water. In short a very fruitful day; lots of talks…

  

I am thankful I am developing the ability to open up to people and to help them open up to me. I used to be really bad at that and it makes me so thankful to see how I changed, how I stretch my muscles and learn this very important skill. I am thankful for all these wonderful people who agree to trust me and include me in this sacred circle of trust; I will never betray that. I am thankful I had the idea to visit my mother in law; she really needed this cheering up. I am thankful, like every night to the power of technology that enables me to cross continents for half an hour and be with my boyfriend when he is away, it makes the distant so much easier, so much more bearable. I am thankful to him for finding the time and the will to call even when he is so tired and so sick, just to be with me for a while; I sure don’t take it for granted and I am very thankful for that.