Day 913 - I read some of the blogs and the letters we wrote each other at the beginning of our mutual journey. I am not sure how we got from there to where we are today. I saw some of our pictures and we look so happy and in love. Where did it all go, it is somewhere down underneath all the garbage we poured on each other in the past few months... It makes me want to cry. I loved him so much and he did as well, I know that. But our train got out of the station too fast, before we were ready and now it is way too late to turn around and go back to the innocent place we once shared. I saw our pictures and I choked. How I wish things were different. How I wish I still have this man I love so much and I am sure he feels the same. We came to the point of no return and my heart is bleeding. I didn't think I can love again and then I did, but I was not smart enough to keep it, to blow life into it. We didn't survive the test of time; like so many love stories. How sad, how very sad I am. So tonight I am writing it to my lost love. He cannot read it since he doesn't understand English, and I can't share it with him anyway. But never the less, tonight I am mourning the loss of what had the potential to be the love of my life, but stirring it with deaf ears and with too much ego to listen, I burnt it. I am so sad about that...
I am thankful I have enough tears to cry over this ending story. I am thankful I really learned again what love is. I am just so very sad I am so rusty at the art of handling something like that with enough care. To my loved one, to you I extend all my thanks tonight.
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